Keeping Our Kin Relations Alive!

[John]

Bismillah,
Asalamu alaykum wa rahmattallah,

Al Jumuah magazine, volume 17 issue 01 Muharram 1426 H

One of the best articles, maybe it was of the only ones, that I read on this topic, with servere warning and good exhortation - see below. Very thorough. Here are some sample hadith from it:

"Whoever desires for Allah to multiply his provision and increase his age, he should maintain good relations with his kin." (Narrated by Abu Said al-Khudhree)

"No one who severs his family ties will enter Paradise." (Tirmithi)

[sis]

Assalamu alaykum wa rhmat Ullahi wa barakatuh,

Jazak Allahu khayra for posting those ahadeeth.

So, how about we put this knowledge into action? A lot of families suffer from this type of ailment and more than often, the children are more flexible in changing the situation (correct me if i'm wrong here). What are some ideas that can help with improving relations with kin, specifically parents?

[sis]

Okay, imma start things off...

One sister i know wasn't so close to her father. She really wanted to improve the situation and decided that really, the answer was in giving him his due respect and honour. How did she show this? Every time she would meet him, she would take his hand and kiss it out of love and respect. Her father would respond with a sweet smile and ask her how her day went....Alhamdulillah, a small action put softness between them.

[bintAbdulHashem]

One thing we often times forget is having 'sabr' (patience) with our parents or elderly relatives (e.g. aunties, uncles, grandparents)... Especially living in the West, a lot of times the younger folks tend to look down upon their elder kinfolk if they have an accent, don't have a degree, or don't understand the norms of Western culture... I've seen cases where the kids are yelling at their parents and bossing their parents around in public with no shame. I think it's time children understand their roles as children and also realize the roles of parents. When I don't agree with my mom or dad I try to have patience and think about their view point or stance on an issue. I try to see the angle they are coming from. Believe me, it's tough to give your parents the benefit of the doubt. But we have to go back to honoring our parents and elderly. Not make fun of them or be cruel. We should compliment things we like about our parents to them and show them we care... For example, '...Mom, I love the *name your favorite dish here (e.g. biryani, pasta, kabobs, etc.)* you make...' or '...Dad, can you help me solve this problem or give me advice on such and such...'. The first few ppl we should try and impress most are our parents, rather than our friends/peers... Respect is such a huge part in showing kindness to our parents/elderly. We need to show them we care and we appreciate them. Also, big bear hugs and smiles are nice gestures to show our love.

[umyousef15]

What about when family, especially parents,are not following Allah's ways ? My friend was always patient, kind and generous to family, but they took what they could and were abusive and degrading.They were especially ridiculing because my friend tries to live life following Allah's SWT ways. After 20 years, he gave up and now refuses to have anything to do with any of them, even his mother. I fear for him because we are ordered to respect our parents. He has suffered financially and emotionally, but I'm afraid all his good deeds will crumble to dust because of not keeping up relations, painful as they may be. Any advice? The family is Muslim, but not practicing.

[Mujahidah]

Very interesting question...

[umyousef15]

iNTERESTING QUESTION, BUT NO ONE HAS ANY INPUT OR SUGGESTIONS. mY FRIEND USES THE HADEETH IN BUKHARI ABOUT STAYING AWAY FROM FITNA AS JUSTIFICATION. FOR STAYING AWAY FROM FAMILY. mAY ALLAH MAKE IT EASY FOR HIM.