View Full Version : Looking at someone in the eye?
Muhsinah bint Muhsin
04-27-2006, 08:23 PM
Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I am just wondering if it is wrong to look at a male (Muslim) teacher in the eye if you are a Muslimah (female Muslim)? I remember reading that Imam Shafi'i gave the opinion that is it ok so long as there is no attraction going on. But then again, doesn't it affect your heart and make it blackened? I am not THAT much into madhabs however, I do respect them. Don't get me wrong, if there is proof that its not good, then I'm all for it. http://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon10.gif. Jazallahu khairan for your time.
As-salamu alaikum w'r w'b
04-27-2006, 11:48 PM
wa 3laykum as salaamu wa ra7matullaahi wa barakaatuhu,
Allaah commanded lowering of the gaze - for both men & women.
And Allaah commanded al Hijaab - which is not just a way of dress but rules of interracting with the opposite gender. Al Hijaab is a barrier literally and the women should always be behind some type of Hijaab when around a male if there is a need.
Islaam came to destroy anything that leads to haram and that is why Allaah also forbade us from speaking in a soft tone and to lower the gaze. We learned in FOL that for women there is more leniency because for example the story of `A'ishah watching the Abyssinians however, for men it is clear that they can look once by accident but the 2nd look they are blameworthy for.
So how then can they look into each other's eyes while talking?
I never heard this was an area where there is ikhtilaaf, wa allaahu `alam
05-08-2006, 11:27 PM
Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that after Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart." Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.
Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer).
Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".
Those are the only 2 I could find...apart from other proofs that men were cautious of coming up on women period. So how about standing in front of a male?
Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:
‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."
05-09-2006, 02:30 AM
Side note. It is highly impolite in the western culture to address someone and not look into the eyes so they know you are talking to them, and to show interest in the communication. So, enters I into the Imam's office shortly after I converted and I embrace him in devoted interest with my eyes. He only just barely glanced in the general direction of my eyes at the moment of greeting, and then spent the rest of the time averting his gaze towards the floor, my feet, my hand or other impartial part of my body, the window, the wall. I could not hear what he said. What was louder was how disinterested he was in me or what I required of him. I left feeling no greater than a speck of dust and vowed to never speak to that rude man ever again. Years later, more understanding of the rules of engagement, I can revisit the experience and see how he was showing quite the opposite to what I had interpreted. He was in fact being extremely respectful, and he was interested in the communication, but I ruined it with my own rudeness trying to look straight into his eyes. I actually chased his gaze around the room. He would likely have chosen one or two spots to stare at through the conversation, leaning his ear towards me, but because I tried and tried again to "gain his interest by arresting his eyes in mine" he spent the time furtively avoiding me. It must have been annoying! LOL.
05-09-2006, 09:43 PM
Mashallah, I am glad to know that Muslim brothers and sisters are following the rule of lowering of the gaze. The brothers and sisters that i know have a tendency to gawk while you walk past, which is very wrong.
And whoever places his hope in the meeting with His Lord let him work righteous deeds and in the worship of His Lord, associate none as a partner (Soorah Kahf 18:110)
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