View Full Version : Haadi Love Notes GEMS, POST HERE!

11-04-2006, 02:15 AM
as salamu`alaykum Haadians,



11-04-2006, 11:49 AM
Assalamu alakum,

Wedad is in the house! We came from Sac to benefit from this awesome class!! Friday night was off the hook- the intro was sooo good.

Omar Mumtaz
11-04-2006, 11:53 AM
Assalamu alakum,

Wedad is in the house! We came from Sac to benefit from this awesome class!! Friday night was off the hook- the intro was sooo good.
Thats right! and the conclusion was great as well... its day 2 right now, and I just met a brother who's registering this morning cuz he last night, he LOVED it http://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon10.gif

oh, and by the way,,,,, WEDAD rules!

11-04-2006, 11:59 AM
If Love is not reciprocal, move on.

Two important aspects of love.

1. Love
2. Mercy

11-04-2006, 12:23 PM
oh, and by the way,,,,, WEDAD rules!not after this class, and you KNOW it dude :D

11-04-2006, 12:27 PM
Jazak Allah Khayr!
Asalaamu Alaykum

Jazak Allah Khayr Shaykh Yaser for an amazing night!

Here are my Gems:

If you are in search of your "soul mate", then look for the one that shares your tastes!


The ones with similar tastes are true "soul mates"



11-04-2006, 01:41 PM
The ring of the Dove

By Ibn Hazm


A treaties on the Art & Practice of Arab Love


11-04-2006, 05:47 PM

The group activity before salat-ul-asr was good idea to let members really come out with their thoughts on one of the major problems for Muslim Americans, Why men/women delay their marriages, top 5 reasons for the same. Our group is Jamath-ul-Muhibbeen, Group of lovers, at the conclusion of the discussion out group came up with 5 reasons as followed

1. Culture
a. Restrictions to ethnic background
b. Financial Stability
c. Elderly Siblings should get married
2. Community Pressures for Success before marriage
3. Parental Interference
4. Fear of responsibilties
5. Unrealistic Expectations


11-04-2006, 09:02 PM
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatallahi wa barakatuhu,

Subhanallah, I never knew that a ring in literature symbolizes slavery and the fact that that then symbolizes love enslaving people. That symbolism was related to the ring around slave's necks. However, does that relate to the actual wedding rings the kuffar wear? In other words, whether it is a ring around a neck or on a finger, do they both symbolize love enslaving people?

11-04-2006, 09:28 PM
Marriage is permanent union.

Treat them kindly like they are your prisoners

Infidelity and betrayal.

Going on the internet such as haram web sites.
Watching TV
Looking at other women.
If it’s haram, don’t do it.

11-04-2006, 09:28 PM
"Man is the head of the house but the woman is the neck, wherever the neck goes so goes the head"

11-04-2006, 11:13 PM
Assalamu alaikum

True love begins when the "in love" syndrome ends.

11-04-2006, 11:41 PM
As Salaamu alaikum wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh

*Real love is unconditional

*the word HUBB in Arabic: the letter "haa" comes from the inside and the letter "baa" comes from outside
-Love chokes people/crying
-Feeling overwhelmed
-coming from lips/kissing/outside

Habba: seed --> grows ; love grows
Habab: white --> pure ; Love should be pure, without stains, there should be no
conditions put in love/restrictions (ie. I will love you IF you take out the
trash or I will love you IF you buy me a Mercedes)

*Before Islam, all marriages were religious practices in all cultures

*Most Muslim scholars say marriage is an act of worship (except Imam ash-Shaf'ee)
-Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wassalam) commanded youth to get married if they can
-when Allah spoke to Adam, he referred to him as Khalifa
-In the fulfillment of one's desire in a halal marriage, this is referred to as charity
by the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wassalam)

11-05-2006, 12:07 AM
Love is in the Hand of ALLAH, the Most Glorious...it is not something that we always can control; it is forced upon us.

For example, a brother working at the MSA registration table...he's not thinking about getting married, lowering his gaze...but then looks up and accidentally sees a girl and he's just HIT with this sudden feeling for her...so it was forced upon him, it wasn't something he had a choice about.
What he does with that feeling, however, is something that becomes his choice.
And this is where he needs to seek the halal, and seek refuge with Allah sobhanaho wa ta'ala from the haram.

11-05-2006, 12:11 AM
Rasool Allah, salAllaho alayhe wa sallama told his uncle al-Abbass rady Allahu anho about Mugheeth and Bareerah, rady Allahu anhom: "O Abbas! Isn't it amazing how much Mugheeth loves Bareerah and how much Bareerah hates Mugheeth?"

Regarding this love story, we learn:

That the Prophet, salAllaho alayhe wa sallama sympathized with the lovers...he, salAllaho alayhe wa sallama didn't order Mugheeth to just stop loving her...Mugheeth doesn't have control over this.

11-05-2006, 12:12 AM
The Prophet salAllaho alayhe wa sallama took action to help the lover!

11-05-2006, 12:19 AM
SobhanAllah...Allah, Al Hakim, told us "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them; and He has put love and Mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect" (Rum, 30:21).

The more we learn, the more we realize this sign. Look at Mugheeth and Bareerah...he loves her so much, and she does not have this feeling towards him. Who other than the Creator could cause this to hapen? And who other than the Creator could cause two people to see each other, and feel that the other person is "perfect", but they will see all these other people at work, anywhere they are, and they don't have this same natural inclination with everyone; they are just naturally attracted to some people.

Indeed, these are signs for us to reflect upon.

Abu Hudhud
11-05-2006, 12:32 AM
Spouses are gifts to each other. they are hidden and wrapped before marriage, not knowing the real character. Marriage unwraps the gift

Abu Hudhud
11-05-2006, 12:34 AM
Soon you are gonna be OLD and BALD

11-05-2006, 12:40 AM
We do not provide "drive-by" marriage services.
We are a full-service community :)

11-05-2006, 12:44 AM
A relationship may just be running on mercy for a long time and there comes a breaking point, and it can't withstand it.

11-05-2006, 12:44 AM
Marriage is "Misaqan Ghaleezah" (Strong covenant).

Asif Alam
11-05-2006, 01:02 AM
Assalaamu Alaikum All:

Masha'Allah-wa-Alhamdulillah...Haadi GEMS are on a roll here.

Still have one more day to go...take good notes...and then disseminate your learnings for the benefit of everyone...Insha'Allah.


11-05-2006, 01:48 AM
according to the faqeeh of love (ibn Hazm AlAndalusee):

Love doesn't start on earth. it starts when the souls (with similar qualities) gather together in the upper universe!

(P.S.>> i think we should try to put each gem in a post on its own..easier to read AND u guys can prolly be at atleast page 5 now:))

11-05-2006, 01:51 AM
Ibn Hazm:
"Love is neither disapproved by religion, nor prohibited by the law, for every heart in is Allah's hands."

11-05-2006, 01:54 AM
there is a time when true love is put to the test:
after the "in-love" phase and the test is done thru marriage!!

11-05-2006, 01:57 AM
simple acts of disrespect (like those used in our interaction with our own gender such as "that was so stupid!" etc...) are all very dangerous in the "loved ones" relationship. it is of that which harms the love!

11-05-2006, 01:58 AM
a real story of love isn't that of Romeo and Juliet...rather its one of rasool Allah's!

Yaser Birjas
11-05-2006, 02:01 AM
Masha'Allah...keep the gems coming

11-05-2006, 08:30 AM
Love Is Mystry

11-05-2006, 08:37 AM
Love is blessing from ALLAH SWT

11-05-2006, 08:38 AM
Marraige is true expression of Love

11-05-2006, 08:40 AM
True Love Starts only after Marraige

11-05-2006, 08:44 AM
Love starts with choice and ends with force

11-05-2006, 08:54 AM
Love changes on a daily/hourly basis. Dont expect your partner to express the same love at all times.

11-05-2006, 09:00 AM
Dont be shy if you fall in Love. Pursue it thru Halal way.

11-05-2006, 09:06 AM
Hawwa was created from Adam's rib to make women close to men's hearts and to keep women under man's arms (protection)

11-05-2006, 09:07 AM
Benefits of Marraige
-Extra time
-Extra Freedom
-Extra saving(Barakah in your money)

11-05-2006, 09:12 AM
There are many things that can harm love, including things such as acts of disrespect, infidelity and betrayal and backbiting and gossiping.

11-05-2006, 09:15 AM
Apart from day dreaming Love is about sacrifice, patience, tolerance, being generous, forgiving....

11-05-2006, 09:17 AM
Monogomy is the default state of marriage. Adam was monogamous.

11-05-2006, 09:29 AM
Some of the purposes of marriage include:
-fulfilling desires
-protection from evil

11-05-2006, 10:20 AM
Showing how important love is and how great it is for us:

The Prophet Mohamed, peace be upon him, loved Aisha so much and so passionately that when he died, it was upon her chest, in her arms.

11-05-2006, 11:39 AM
Characteristics of a Prospective Spouse

i. Desirable characteristics in a bride.

1. Property

2. Status

3. Beauty

4. Religion

Choose a bride for her religion should you want success.

11-05-2006, 11:40 AM
Desirable characteristics in a groom.

If somebody comes to you and you are pleased with his character and religion then marry him. If you don not, there will be discord on earth and widespread corruption”

11-05-2006, 11:49 AM
Husbands and wives should realize that as they try to INCREASE the responsibilities that they request/demand from each other, in that same fashion the requested persons RIGHTS would increase.

11-05-2006, 12:13 PM
1. Ability
2. Treat her well
3. Afraid to fall in to something haram such as zina or fornication.

11-05-2006, 07:49 PM
The shaytan is the number one reason for marriage discord.

11-05-2006, 11:28 PM
AMAZING CLASS. I enjoyed it very very very very MUCH. Please continue on with the work on this very neglected topic.

As a married father, I walked away with countless precious gems of wisdom that i'm excited to use in enhancing my relationship with my beloved wife.

11-06-2006, 10:46 AM

Precious moments enhance a marriage. On long trips, don't concentrate on getting there as fast as possible. Instead, stop halfway in the middle of nowhere, and have a few moments together. If you see a beach, stop and go for a walk. If you have little kids, then having breaks is a must (They can't sit in the car patiently for more than 10 mins) and while they run around you can steal moments together ...

Umm Hudhud
11-06-2006, 10:55 AM
Men need to withdraw.
Women hate when men withdraw.

Women need to talk.
Men think women are nagging when they talk.

Conclusion: Come to a compromise. Sometimes the man should get his way, and sometimes the woman should get her way. ;)

Asif Alam
11-06-2006, 11:32 AM
Assalaamu Alaikum Dear Haadians:

Lets keep the GEMs coming and building up on this thread...

Lets show to all what an awesome job our beloved Sheikh Yaser Birjas did in just one weekend...Alhamdulillah

I still cant believe how fast the weekend went...I wish I had another weekend, to sit among Haadians in a blessed gathering and learn from the sheikh.

Sheikh Yaser thank you very very much for an awesome experience...may your nighs and days be blessed...and may Allah elevate your statuses (and of your family) in this life and in the hereafter...Ameen


11-06-2006, 11:38 AM
I still cant believe how fast the weekend went...I wish I had another weekend, to sit among Haadians in a blessed gathering and learn from the sheikh.

Sheikh Yaser thank you very very much for an awesome experience...may your nighs and days be blessed...and may Allah elevate your statuses (and of your family) in this life and in the hereafter...Ameen

Ameen, Shaykh, Jazakullah Khair for sharing some of your knowledge with us.
ALhamdulilah I learned so much!

11-06-2006, 12:26 PM
As Salaama Alikum

Alhumdillah, this was a wonderful class.
One of the many gems I remember is to mix up the words a little in the conversation not always saying "Jazah Kallah Khair" which is good but different things, "That's so sweet" etc...

Asif Alam
11-06-2006, 02:05 PM
Assalaamu Alaikum All:

I have made this thread a "sticky", so it should always be on top (for now) under LOVE NOTES....this will make it easier to post GEMs on this thread, for all Haadians, rather than on other threads.

So keep GEMmmming....


Abu Hudhud
11-06-2006, 03:21 PM
Advice for Brothers about to be married:
"Expect the Unexcepted"

Abu Hudhud
11-06-2006, 03:22 PM
The rings of marriage
1. Engagement ring
2. Wedding ring
3. Suffer-Ring :d

The third ring is the ONLY WAJIB ring for the brothers.

Abu Hudhud
11-06-2006, 03:24 PM
"Eye is the gate to your heart"

Asif Alam
11-06-2006, 03:44 PM
The rings of marriage
1. Engagement ring
2. Wedding ring
3. Suffer-Ring :d

The third ring is the ONLY WAJIB ring for the brothers.Salaam:

Br. Abu Hudhud: If suffer-ring is "wajib" for us brothers after marriage...what kind of ring does this translate for the sisters..perhaps, it would be Tour-Ring for the sisters...I wonder :P

Subhan'Allah...I learnt in the class that Allah has given women the talent and ability to change the resolve of a most resolute man...this is nothing short of amazing, and a bit scary...hehehehe

just an apprehensive bachelor...:C

Abu Hudhud
11-06-2006, 04:21 PM

Br. Abu Hudhud: If suffer-ring is "wajib" for us brothers after marriage...what kind of ring does this translate for the sisters...I wonder.

just an apprehensive bachelor...:C

For the sisters this translates to Ring of 'Happily ever after' (Power and Intercession and Talking and .... the list goes on and on and on)

Wallaaahu a'lam

11-06-2006, 05:11 PM

For the sisters this translates to Ring of 'Happily ever after' (Power and Intercession and Talking and .... the list goes on and on and on)

Wallaaahu a'lamHmmm....not quite true.

Suffering is not gender specific :)

Aboo Zaid
11-06-2006, 11:39 PM
It is important to understand the Rasoolallaah as a man, Sallaahu alayhi wasalaam. We know he was the Messenger of Allaah and from a technical aqeedah standpoint, we all (hopefully inshallaah) know that the Rasool Sallaahualayhi wa salaam was a human being, that had a shadow, and everything else that comes with being a human.

However, we do not fully imagine his Sallaahu alayhe wa salaam's humanity and conceptualize the consequences of that humanity in terms of taking him, sallaahualayhe wasalaam as a complete and practical example. We profess to do that with our lips. But the reality for most of us is that we allow our love and awe of the Prophet to distance his example from being implimented in much of our lives. He was very natural with natural human problems like us, that did not diminish simply from being the Messenger of Allaah. And his Noble Wives, May Allaah be pleased with them, posed difficulty for the Prophet at certain times. They fell into common behaviors that we find in our own households.

Why is this important? When you read the Sunnah, really pay attention to the humanity of the Prophet SAAS, when he laughed, when he cried, when he became angry, how he expressed those emotions. You will find a very complete and natural human being, who was the perfect example and perfect from a human perspective. It is critical for us to know that perfection as a human, in no way mitigates the relevance of his example to us. He was not only a perfect model in direct acts of worship but from a comprehensive perspective. Paying attention to these aspects will really enliven the Sunnah to the reader, allowing him to identify more closely with it, and relate personally to it.

That goes for the companions as well. While they were the best generation, no doubt, we cannot exalt them to angelic levels in our minds, because that distances the lessons their lives offer us. [Ethics of Disagreement]

11-07-2006, 01:10 AM
man: " I'll do it.... When? Allahu A'alaam"

For those sisters who have men in thier lives ( not necessarily husbands) how many times have we heard this? Allhamdulliah, this hit it right on the nail.

11-07-2006, 02:21 AM
Haadians...who can answer this one? I know we covered this in class :)



Omar Mumtaz
11-07-2006, 06:37 AM
To men: "...communicate with her more, and don't you ever try to understand her!!"

Asif Alam
11-07-2006, 12:36 PM

An astute comment/observation was made by the sheikh regarding the group activity in the class:

When men are discussing any topic/theme together, it is usually the case that one person will be speaking and all brothers will be quiet and listening....

...on the other hand, in women's group, almost all sisters will be speaking all at once without missing a beat of what others are saying on the topic of discussion....Subhan'Allah.

Again, this is nothing short of amazing...Allah prefers some over others, and clearly women have an edge over men when it comes to "communication"...

Asif Alam
11-07-2006, 12:46 PM

Another GEM (para-phrased)

When wives wants their husbands to throw the trash out, there are two benefits for men to take advantage of this opportunity:

1- to clean the mess in their home/kitchen
2- and to show to your wife that you care/love and support her.

On the contrary, men will usually try to keep finding space in the trash bag where more junk can be added...and if it starts to overflow, they push the trash down further to create more space for more junk...where as they could have simply thrown out the trash and replaced it with a new bag...

11-07-2006, 03:05 PM
One thing that really struck me was the fact that the female companions knew exactly how to attain Jannah, and that was through their goodness and obedience to the husbands. Perhaps they didn't engage in as much acts of Ibadah as the men, but their focus was on attaining Jannah in the most efficient and effective way, and that was by being the best wife.

This really made my understanding of a certain hadeeth crystal clear! When a woman came to the Prophet (sal Allahu `alayhi wa sallam) complaining about the rewards that the men are able to amass due to their acts of worship. And we are taught that if we keep our duties to our husbands, we will get the same reward as the men.

And it is so true--I may perform acts of Ibadah during the day, but if I was unkind to my husband, I never tasted the blessings of that Ibadah, and would lose the motivation to do Ibadah. But when I was good to my husband and kind, I felt strength in my Iman and more enthusiasm to do acts of Ibadah.

May Allah make us good wives to our husbands, obedient, kind, and loving to them, that we may enter Jannah from any gate we wish. And may Allah reward our husbands for all that they do for us, and may Allah enter them into Jannah without any reckoning, Ameen.

11-07-2006, 03:13 PM
What I found absolutely amazing is just the creation of men and women. Both from the same soul, both the same species, but yet so different in so many ways. From the responses we gave in class to different questions and our reactions to different scenarios, it's as if all the brothers were jsut one man, and all the sisters, just one woman--all thinking the same thing.

ألا له الخلق والأمر تبارك الله رب العالمين

11-07-2006, 09:52 PM
As Salaama Alikum

Subna Allah!

Here is another gem...

I really liked how the Sheikh talked about for husbands to be easy with their wife for example if he prays qiyam and tajjahud prayer etc...and she is doing well taking care of him and his children and doing her fard prayers he does not need to pose these actions upon her. Be gentle with her

Omar Mumtaz
11-08-2006, 01:53 AM
Love is natural and one does not have control over such feelings.
People are responsible and accountable, however, for the actions they take as a result of falling in love...

11-08-2006, 03:41 AM
Request...don't demand:)

Omar Mumtaz
11-08-2006, 04:16 AM
Request...don't demand:)in other words,
Request your demand!

11-09-2006, 02:10 PM
Men need to withdraw.
Women hate when men withdraw.men are like elastic bands: when men withdraw they "snap" right back and so the love is even greater. but if the wife continues to follow her husband and doesn't allow him to go as far as the elastic with stretch then he will never snap back! so ladies...give 'em so room!

11-09-2006, 09:47 PM

look for the RIGHT match not the BEST match

11-09-2006, 09:48 PM
love + mercy = sucessful marriage

11-09-2006, 09:49 PM
Allah created Hawa from the rib of Adam so to be close to his heart and protected by him!

11-09-2006, 09:50 PM
"inni ruziqtu Hubba" ( I was filled with Love for her [ Khadijah radiallhu anhu])

11-09-2006, 09:51 PM
Muslims invented Disco lights

11-09-2006, 09:53 PM
if you can intercede for those in love-- Help!

11-09-2006, 09:53 PM
True love begins when " in Love" ends

11-09-2006, 09:54 PM
The prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam died between the chest and chin of Aaisha and the last thing to enter his stomach was her saliva

11-09-2006, 09:55 PM
Romantic love does not always end in the fullfilment of that love

11-09-2006, 09:56 PM
husbands and wives should have fun with eachother, ( races, eating together, talking etc.)

11-09-2006, 09:57 PM
practical jokes are halal:)

11-09-2006, 09:58 PM

11-09-2006, 09:59 PM
" to make something lawful, unlawful is the same as making something unlawful, lawful"

11-09-2006, 10:00 PM
Love is a mercy from Allah!

11-09-2006, 10:09 PM
responsibilty to children starts with the selection of a spouse

11-09-2006, 10:10 PM
Monogamy is the default marriage

11-09-2006, 10:11 PM
1st child is for training
2nd is for you to train
3rd trains YOU!:)

11-09-2006, 10:12 PM
men are the head of the household women are the neck,

11-09-2006, 10:13 PM
eye is the gate to the heart

11-09-2006, 10:14 PM
to appreciate beauty is a sign of human perfection

(end of the sister's gem board )