02-06-2007, 04:42 PM
My father and brother lives with me, I basically am head of the house since I provide alot of the necessities. I have dilimia but don't know what to do. I don't like to speak bad about my father and their is some good, however the situation I am in is unfair. To make the long story short I witnessed adultry, another woman pregnant and my mom had to leave the house, no custody, no nothing. Basically I witnessed some bad stuff that happened to my mother. Now my father has a similar predicament. He lost his job and house, so I let my dad and brother who is still in high school live with me. I work full-time and go to school full-time and I plan in trying to finish my degree. I have some resentment towards my father because of what happen while I was away for college. Some things I was fault at because of a learning process, but I remained a studious student, I had begged and pleaded for my tuition and well being taken care of. I barely receive anything. My father had a very good job with a very good employer, and it was embarrassing when I asked other fellow students for help. Their response is, if your father is so and so why doesn't he help you. I cried and went into a deep depression. I barely ate, I had to buy my books, winter clothes, and food on a credit card. My mother sent me care packages. So like most college students who could not pay. I decided to listen and come back home. I saw things were no better at home. My father is in school to be a teacher. I get angry when he asks me for money for books, when I remember he refused to help me most of the time while I was in school. My father works barely. My mother told me I should not have let him in. But that sounds like bitterness and hate. But I am very compassionate, and just because he did it to her does not mean I do it to him. I don't like to see people struggle, not even myself. But alot of times I feel he does take advantage of me, its been like this since I was 12. My father doesn't pray, now my brother he will pray if I say something, so at least there is something there. Now I have the potential to graduate either this year if I want or next year. All I have been doing over the years since I came back was pray, work, and now I wear hijab even at work at a really good company. I have cried and prayed to Allah (swt) that all I want is my degree, and if possible a nice husband. I pray for this everyday. Now one of my prayers have been answered however my lease to my apartment is up in May, but yet my father is still struggling financially, and to finish my degree I have to make a huge cut back. I told my mother, and she said is "he is leeching off of you. He will hold you back and you won't have nothing like I did. Do you want to marry a man like your father". It hurt so much. I don't know what to do. I even have employers who want me to come in when I finish my degree. There was some things done and said in the past I don't forget. I just don't know what to do.