al_layl
03-20-2007, 12:32 PM
Asalaamualaikum.
I have taken this class. I need a bump in my memory.
I remember that a woman's wali can reject a proposing man if he is not pleased with his race. (Correct me if I am wrong).
Does that mean it's also applicable to women....if the mother of the son is not pleased with her son's marriage choice, and she refuses because of her age and race, does she have a right to refuse her son from marrying her?
A son should honor and obey his mother, and try to please her and keep her happy, and wouldn't want to let anything disturb the ties between mother and son. Today's world, we see many broken families due to disapproved marriages. How can a brother who is a religious "mamma's boy" obey his mother and marry the woman of his dreams...
She is among the elite religious women who does the obligatory and many nawfil acts in worship, self-motivated and independent. She is active in the community and well known for her pious character/manners. She is Hajaba/niqaab and covers her eyes, hands, and feet. She is obtaining her bachelors in shari`ah at a prestigious Islamic University and studies under amazing shayookh. She has all the motherly fitrah qualities any woman would be jealous of. And she is undescribably beautiful with eyes no one has seen before in any part of the world. She also expects this brother to marry to the extent of 4 wives and have many many children. Her goals are high and attainable for widows, battered women, orphans, and the poor. She is already helping to build a womens shelter.
And Her wali is accepting of the brother.
The mother complains that she is 5 years older than the brother, and that she is not Arab/philistini. The sister is divorced (due to her ex-husband's continual unfaithfulness, abuse, abandonment, and refusal to fulfill her rights). The sister has no children. The mother refuses any Islamic rationality...that the Prophet peace be upon him, married Khadija (ra) and she was 15 years older and was also previously married. The mother says that you can't compare! She says that the sister will be in menapause soon, the sister is 25 years old! The brother is FIRST in his University in GPA and will complete his studies in 2 years, and will have an income by then. The mother is prone to a heart attack and the stress could be a danger.
The brother and sister have prayed istikhara and this is the outcome. The answer is a stong consistent "no" from his mother. Should he just accept that this is the qadr of Allah and move on? Move on from the ideal Wife, where many people attest to her piety and character...and there are not a lot of REAL pious brothers who would marry a divorced woman.
What else can the brother do? He will not ruin relationships selfishly. What other methods of convincing a determined "no" from his mother?
I have taken this class. I need a bump in my memory.
I remember that a woman's wali can reject a proposing man if he is not pleased with his race. (Correct me if I am wrong).
Does that mean it's also applicable to women....if the mother of the son is not pleased with her son's marriage choice, and she refuses because of her age and race, does she have a right to refuse her son from marrying her?
A son should honor and obey his mother, and try to please her and keep her happy, and wouldn't want to let anything disturb the ties between mother and son. Today's world, we see many broken families due to disapproved marriages. How can a brother who is a religious "mamma's boy" obey his mother and marry the woman of his dreams...
She is among the elite religious women who does the obligatory and many nawfil acts in worship, self-motivated and independent. She is active in the community and well known for her pious character/manners. She is Hajaba/niqaab and covers her eyes, hands, and feet. She is obtaining her bachelors in shari`ah at a prestigious Islamic University and studies under amazing shayookh. She has all the motherly fitrah qualities any woman would be jealous of. And she is undescribably beautiful with eyes no one has seen before in any part of the world. She also expects this brother to marry to the extent of 4 wives and have many many children. Her goals are high and attainable for widows, battered women, orphans, and the poor. She is already helping to build a womens shelter.
And Her wali is accepting of the brother.
The mother complains that she is 5 years older than the brother, and that she is not Arab/philistini. The sister is divorced (due to her ex-husband's continual unfaithfulness, abuse, abandonment, and refusal to fulfill her rights). The sister has no children. The mother refuses any Islamic rationality...that the Prophet peace be upon him, married Khadija (ra) and she was 15 years older and was also previously married. The mother says that you can't compare! She says that the sister will be in menapause soon, the sister is 25 years old! The brother is FIRST in his University in GPA and will complete his studies in 2 years, and will have an income by then. The mother is prone to a heart attack and the stress could be a danger.
The brother and sister have prayed istikhara and this is the outcome. The answer is a stong consistent "no" from his mother. Should he just accept that this is the qadr of Allah and move on? Move on from the ideal Wife, where many people attest to her piety and character...and there are not a lot of REAL pious brothers who would marry a divorced woman.
What else can the brother do? He will not ruin relationships selfishly. What other methods of convincing a determined "no" from his mother?