PDA

View Full Version : Question re: infidelity


Nida A.
03-24-2007, 07:20 AM
Salaam Malikum,
I asked this question through a letter to the Shaykh. However, I am not sure if he answered it in one of his post-seminar sessions, which I couldn't attend. If anyone of you know the answer from the seminar, or by chance off the top of your head, I would be very thankful. If not, I've got some more researching to do:

What is the Islamic stance on infidelity? What constitutes infidelity as far as Muslims are concerned (meaning is it limited to physical or emotional as well)? Should the spouse be taken back by the betrayed husband/wife?

Jazakal Kheir

Sirius1
03-28-2007, 11:28 AM
What do you mean by emotional infidelity?

Nida A.
03-28-2007, 06:39 PM
What do you mean by emotional infidelity?
Emotional meaning you tie your emotions to another man/woman who is not your spouse. You become emotionally involved (hey, it's possible, the human psyche is baffling...)

Sirius1
03-28-2007, 08:01 PM
Yeah its possible. I'm just trying to understand...

Emotional involvement through what? There has to be a means... (do you mean frequent thoughts? or something else?)

-----------------------------------------

From what I know, you will only be held accountable for your actions on the Day of Judgment. You can control your actions, where as often times you can't entirely control your thoughts.

Hearts are in the hands of Allah.

I don't know if I completely answered your real question:


What is the Islamic stance on infidelity? What constitutes infidelity as far as Muslims are concerned (meaning is it limited to physical or emotional as well)? Should the spouse be taken back by the betrayed husband/wife?
Is there a thing as spousal infidelity in Islam or is everything judged on the basis of halaal/haraam? Now I'm wondering...

Perhaps, a more knowledgeable person can explain further.

Imtiaz
03-29-2007, 07:38 AM
Could someone answer this ?

I am particularly interested in examples from Islamic History, example would be contrasting Meccan society and Medinan society....

How was infidelity dealt with ? To what degrees did it happen ?
Honestly, these things happen many times in our society, they had to have happend in the past as well...

Is it just the act of Adultry ? or do other actions consititute this as well ?

I am looking this up right now.... any help would be great! :/

Siraaj
03-29-2007, 02:12 PM
Interesting question - for a man, if he falls in love with another woman outside of marriage, and then decides to take her as a second wife, could that really be infidelity? I dunno, but anyway, that's sort of related but detracting from the original question, but just a thought anyway.

Siraaj

Sabiqoon
04-05-2007, 12:32 AM
infidelity, adultery is a different matter.

An example at the time of Prophet SAW was when a man come home after a trip or journey and found unfortunate situation.

He went to Rasool SAW and swore against his wife and she swore taht she didnt do anything wrong. The fifth time swearing is the serious one and she did it any way.

The Prophet SAW told him that if she gives birth to a child like this and that then it is not his, etc.

I dont have references, perhaps people can provide teh exact hadeeth.


On the other hand, emotional thinking, liking another person besides spouse is bad for your relationship in general and it is rather a disease of the heart because in essence you are doing shirk al-khafi or inconspicous shirk, meaning displeased with teh state of your being and wishing you had something else. It also affects your marriage.

however for you to even come to this point would require breaking many of the islaamic etiquettes known to us:

extensive talking, mixed social gathering with opposite gender people(which is not allowed), hence this can create opportunities for you to fall in love, etc.

and these things are not allowed. If you do not know a person, there is no way you can get emotionally attached to them.

Sirius1
04-05-2007, 10:50 AM
infidelity, adultery is a different matter.

An example at the time of Prophet SAW was when a man come home after a trip or journey and found unfortunate situation.

He went to Rasool SAW and swore against his wife and she swore taht she didnt do anything wrong. The fifth time swearing is the serious one and she did it any way.

The Prophet SAW told him that if she gives birth to a child like this and that then it is not his, etc.

I dont have references, perhaps people can provide teh exact hadeeth.


On the other hand, emotional thinking, liking another person besides spouse is bad for your relationship in general and it is rather a disease of the heart because in essence you are doing shirk al-khafi or inconspicous shirk, meaning displeased with teh state of your being and wishing you had something else. It also affects your marriage. Isnt it best if we leave such questions for the Shaykh, so we don't make conjectures using our relatively limited knowledge?

Sabiqoon
04-05-2007, 12:46 PM
thanks,
you are absolutely right, the Shaykh can correct me if I am wrong. I am not making conjectures. The example stated in hadeeth stated and the concept of Shirk al-khafi are real.

Bin Wahdy
04-05-2007, 03:46 PM
No life without wife :(



I hate discussions about infidelity--it makes me sick. But I suppose it is good to know.

Nida A.
04-05-2007, 08:16 PM
No life without wife :( Oh snap, Bride and Prejudice right? :P

I hate discussions about infidelity--it makes me sick. But I suppose it is good to knowKnowledge is our right as Muslims, and unfortunately people do not always follow the rules of Islam as they should. We are not perfect, we stray in our faith sometimes, and I asked this question because as painful as infidelity is, there has to be just measures taken in its aftermath.

Nida A.
04-05-2007, 08:28 PM
Interesting question - for a man, if he falls in love with another woman outside of marriage, and then decides to take her as a second wife, could that really be infidelity? I dunno, but anyway, that's sort of related but detracting from the original question, but just a thought anyway.

SiraajIf I were married and my husband fell in love with another woman, I would be offended! Yes in Islam a man is allowed four wives, if he treats them fairly, but to FALL in LOVE with her. To have fallen in love with her, he probably would have spent some time with her, thought about her, talked to her, etc...or even just fallen in love with her beauty. These things threaten a marriage, make the wife feel cheated. It would take a woman very strong in her faith to not be upset. Nobody's perfect, but, Allahhu allam


Then again, the Shaykh would know more on this...

Yusrah Uthman
04-06-2007, 09:43 AM
Interesting question - for a man, if he falls in love with another woman outside of marriage, and then decides to take her as a second wife, could that really be infidelity? I dunno, but anyway, that's sort of related but detracting from the original question, but just a thought anyway.

Siraaj
hehe.http://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon10.gif you're funny in your thoughts. (no hard feelings thoughhttp://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon11.gif)
As salamu aleykum wr wb