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View Full Version : ~*~*~*Back With a BaNg...Hayl GEMS~*~*~*


craving-jannah
04-06-2007, 11:40 PM
Assalamualikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
By the grace of Allah, we can finally have a thread of our own for GEMS.
Share the wisdom you got out of the Shaykh's lecture here.
List each gem on seperate posts.

Jazeek Allah Khayr,
-3rif

bintamina
04-06-2007, 11:43 PM
Don't be excessive in your love, and don't be excessive in your hate, but seek moderation.

bintamina
04-06-2007, 11:45 PM
Islam never came to wipe out culture --- just to cultivate it.

Hala
04-07-2007, 12:29 AM
continued from this thread:
http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=20188

Rahma
04-07-2007, 12:45 AM
First love story--that of Rasullah s.a.w. Aisha r.a.--(If you want to experience love, look to this example)===Statement by Imam Az-Zuhri

Abu Hurayrah
04-07-2007, 05:45 AM
Opposites attract, but only sometimes (all those years of physics classes...they've been misleading me all this time!)

Abu Hurayrah
04-07-2007, 05:47 AM
Mahin mentioning something like this in the original thread, but the richness of the Arabic language is something else. Each word in Arabic is a jewel of meaning waiting to be discovered. I can see an Arabic linguistics/etymology class in AlMaghrib's future, in shaa Allaah...

Abu Hurayrah
04-07-2007, 05:49 AM
Amongst the superiority of the Arabic language is that, though there are many words that, when translated to English, appear to be the same, the truth is that Allaah and His Messenger chose those specific words for their specific meanings in those contexts. So, while 7ubb', `ishq, & muwaddah are all translated as "love" in English, their meaning in Arabic can be worlds apart.

tameem-adarami
04-07-2007, 05:54 AM
Rasoolulah taught us how to keep Love in moderation. He would not allow his Love for any of his wives take time away from his worship of ALLAH.

UmmSakinah
04-07-2007, 08:19 AM
We perceive perfection to reside in beauty, as is our nature, but in practice, near-perfection resides in the distribution of different aspects....don't be mislead by good looks.

Precious Pearl
04-07-2007, 11:16 AM
The word “LOVE” was mentioned frequently in the Quran and statements of Prophet salalahu aleyhi wasalaam and scholars. Therefore, love is not shameful or should not be feared to be talked out.

Nazmus_Thakib
04-07-2007, 12:47 PM
Shouldn't take Love for granted. One's actions determine its ongoing vitality.

Love is one of the mystry put among human beings from Allah SWT, and He holds one accountable for something that the person does by choice.

craving-jannah
04-07-2007, 02:00 PM
Love is a set of actions; not just emotions.

Precious Pearl
04-07-2007, 04:24 PM
Marriage is a partnership, not an ownership.

craving-jannah
04-07-2007, 04:48 PM
Reunion of man and woman: "to COMPLETE each other not COMPETE."

UmmSakinah
04-07-2007, 05:21 PM
The prophet SAW kissed his wife before he left for the masjid while fasting.

Lesson for husbands: do show affection to your wives.

Come on people, out with the gems! I'm not even in the class. :D

UmmSakinah
04-07-2007, 05:25 PM
One good reason for sending those kids to bed at a set time every day:

So mom & pop can keep using the LoveSeat instead of having to resort to the 'so far' with 'distractions' between them.

Precious Pearl
04-07-2007, 05:36 PM
Which was more loved by the Prophet salalahu aleyhi wasalaam. Aisha or Khadijah?
Some say Aisha and others say Khadijah however...


Sh. Ibnu Taymiyah said: This question itself is illegitimate. They didn’t live in the same time but different times therefore there is no right to compare them.

spana3rabia
04-07-2007, 07:06 PM
Marriage is a partnership, not an ownership.
oh i like this one. JazakAllah kheiran for all the gems!

Hala
04-07-2007, 10:44 PM
During the group activites on why bros and sis's delay marriage, fear of failure was a common one:

Don't think about the negative possibilites. If you're worried the marriage will fail, IT WILL. Be optimistic :)

Abu Hurayrah
04-07-2007, 10:57 PM
"Sisters be trippin'"...

Hala
04-07-2007, 11:00 PM
"Sisters be trippin'"...Hearing shaykh Yaser say that made my day. masha Allah, many people mentioned how much they enjoyed that session in particular.

Abu Hurayrah
04-07-2007, 11:06 PM
Hearing shaykh Yaser say that made my day. masha Allah, many people mentioned how much they enjoyed that session in particular. I'm pretty sure the shaykh knew just how much fun we were going to have with that. At the same time, I really was shocked at the uniformity of the excuses brought up the sisters for the delaying of their marriages. Another brother and I really saw this as an urgent problem in our community. Expect to see something shortly, in shaa Allaah, either through Qabeelat Hayl (as shaykh Yaser proposed) or through Columbus Dawah - at this point, I'm not entirely sure what the difference is...

Hala
04-07-2007, 11:12 PM
fresh off the sisters gem board:
'Yo momma is yo momma and yo wifey is yo wifey'

when a sister asked the shaykh about obedience to one's wife vs one's mom. The answer pretty much was not to group them in the same category, and don't feel like you have to choose one over the other. They're 2 diff topics.

bintamina
04-07-2007, 11:14 PM
Never take failure as an option, but make success your final destination and inshaaAllah this will be the end result. The one who anticipates failure in their endeavours will most likely achieve this.

Kaltham
04-08-2007, 12:22 AM
Prophet of Allah was mercy for mankind. This is evident in his daily interactions with his wives, children, and the Muslims. (Remember he did not belittle Mugheeth's love for Bareerah)

Fii Amaani'Laah

Kaltham
04-08-2007, 12:25 AM
If a relationship only has love, someone is selfish. If it lacks mercy, someone is impatient. Gotta have the two to last together.

Fii Amaani'Laah

Kaltham
04-08-2007, 12:27 AM
Married sisters: learn how to get what you want from your beloved husbands. Allah has blessed women with this talent so insha Allah put it to use.

Fii Amaani'Laah

Abu Hurayrah
04-08-2007, 06:09 AM
Married sisters: learn how to get what you want from your beloved husbands. Allah has blessed women with this talent so insha Allah put it to use.

Fii Amaani'LaahAre any of the other brothers a bit disturbed by this statement?!?!

UmmSakinah
04-08-2007, 07:46 AM
Married sisters: learn how to get what you want from your beloved husbands. Allah has blessed women with this talent so insha Allah put it to use.

Fii Amaani'LaahWhat is that talent, yaa Kaltham? hey Sisters? Got talent? :D

Oh.....I've never heard Sheikh Yaser's "Sisters be trippin'..ya'll gotta update me on this one!

Me also wanna know what most sisters say about why hey delay marriage. Interesting news about Sheikh Yaser's suggestion for this community.

Remember what you told me Kaltun? Going around in circles, yet there is a wedding every week in Columbus! :D

I might drop by at lunch break, ladies! inshaallah...

So can we expect more waleemah after Love Notes in Columbus inshaallah?

I know of at least *cough* two *cough* INSHAALLAH! or maybe three?

Umm...going back to the talent, what is that talent yaa kaltham? please elaborate...

JAZAKUM ALLAH KHAIR for the gems. Even though I'm not there, I am with you all heart and mind:D

But we do need more gems, people! I want to see sparkles!

mahin
04-08-2007, 08:37 AM
(moved from original gems thread)...The etymology of the Arabic language is amazing.

mahin
04-08-2007, 08:38 AM
Choose to lower your gaze and you won't be forced into love inappropriately.

mahin
04-08-2007, 08:39 AM
Hardcore intellectual analysis of love leads to no love (ex. of Al-Jahez al-Mu'tazilite)

Precious Pearl
04-08-2007, 11:53 AM
there is no obedience to the creator in disobedience to the creation

- meaning in the case of marriage, a man or woman should not obey each other to acts that are impermissible in disobeying the creator Allah subhana wata'la

craving-jannah
04-08-2007, 06:05 PM
Remember to refill your "Love Tank" frequently. A marriage can't run on an empty tank for too long...

Precious Pearl
04-08-2007, 07:52 PM
Love is a request not a demand

eternalmuslimah
04-08-2007, 10:14 PM
Complete, don't compete!...subhaanAllah!

luqmanhakim
04-08-2007, 10:21 PM
"True love does not begin until the 'in-love' case runs its course."

Kaltham
04-09-2007, 12:42 AM
Are any of the other brothers a bit disturbed by this statement?!?!
I'm confused! I hope that was not offensive!!

Yaa UmmSakinah, I was thinking the talent was more about the attitude, manner or the actions the wife takes in asking for what she wants. For example, the shaykh gave the example of the husband reminding his wife how much he'll miss her while she's gone instead of calling her 10 times! When i was younger and i wanted to ask my mom for something, i used to prepare for it for at least a week by doing all the things that will make her super happy with me so that she does not say no.. It worked 90% of the time walhamdulilah... I think both the husbands and wives should take into consideration what each liked or disliked during the survey.. If he is expecting important guests on Friday and he wants her to do an amazing job, he should start to spend quality time with her, help around the house or bring shukalata on Monday!

Fii Amaani'Laah

Megan Wyatt
04-09-2007, 07:58 AM
Jazakum Allahu Khairan Qabeelat Hayl for your gems! Masha'Allah. This class sounds really awesome! Insha'Allah, we can all check back soon for more gems!


And I agree...sounds like more marriages are on the way now that a "solution" for the "problem" is being worked out! And isn't that a wonderful thing!!

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 08:04 AM
I'm confused! I hope that was not offensive!!No no no...not offensive at all. But anything that makes men think they're not in control, is worrysome (for them).

UmmMalick
04-09-2007, 09:02 AM
Marriage runs with love and mercy.

UmmSakinah
04-09-2007, 09:10 AM
I'm confused! I hope that was not offensive!!

Yaa UmmSakinah, I was thinking the talent was more about the attitude, manner or the actions the wife takes in asking for what she wants. For example, the shaykh gave the example of the husband reminding his wife how much he'll miss her while she's gone instead of calling her 10 times! When i was younger and i wanted to ask my mom for something, i used to prepare for it for at least a week by doing all the things that will make her super happy with me so that she does not say no.. It worked 90% of the time walhamdulilah... I think both the husbands and wives should take into consideration what each liked or disliked during the survey.. If he is expecting important guests on Friday and he wants her to do an amazing job, he should start to spend quality time with her, help around the house or bring shukalata on Monday!

Fii Amaani'LaahAhh...now I see what you mean...jazakillah khair. That makes a LOT of sense!

I think my husband actually does that when he knows he is about to go and play soccer.

Abu Hurayrah, don't worry. Men are never in control anyway.:D

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 09:26 AM
Abu Hurayrah, don't worry. Men are never in control anyway.:DThat's what we like to let women think, and it works out for us, usually, alhamdulillaah.

UmmSakinah
04-09-2007, 09:51 AM
That's what we like to let women think, and it works out for us, usually, alhamdulillaah.Yeah, right..

As Sheikh Yaser says, the head cannot move without the neck...

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 01:07 PM
A man could spend all day at work and feel that he is making such a big sacrifice for his family etc. but when he comes home his wife is like he doesn't spend enough time at home!

subhaanAllah, that is so true though...i believe most people fall into that trap!

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 01:09 PM
Any work that a husband does at home is out of love and as a favor (don't exactly know if that's the right way to put it), not as an obligation.

p.s. and i am not a guy!

subhaanAllah but i believe women do tend to forget this

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 01:17 PM
A man could spend all day at work and feel that he is making such a big sacrifice for his family etc. but when he comes home his wife is like he doesn't spend enough time at home!

subhaanAllah, that is so true though...i believe most people fall into that trap!So, in other words, a wife is more concerned about the time spent with her than time spent for her...

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 01:33 PM
So, in other words, a wife is more concerned about the time spent with her than time spent for her...i mean i think most women can used to having a moderate (i.e. not luxurious) life IF they have a husband that makes it worthwhile...

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 01:44 PM
i mean i think most women can used to having a moderate (i.e. not luxurious) life IF they have a husband that makes it worthwhile...I was just looking for a clever way to say it for the brothers to grasp it easier.

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 01:50 PM
I was just looking for a clever way to say it for the brothers to grasp it easier.
yeah, the shaykh had mentioned that guys usually don't understand women that easy

that's another gem, i guess...

men are more to-the-point while women like to vocalize their feelings, they may not really need you to respond to them...it's just that they like sharing what's in their hearts

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 02:17 PM
What's your point?

Hala
04-09-2007, 02:34 PM
What's your point?Did Abu H wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

Great gems!!! keep em coming!!

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 02:39 PM
Did Abu H wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

Great gems!!! keep em coming!!I expected better of you. I sleep on a couch, actually (it's more comfortable than my bed).

But seriously, I was just demonstrating the difference in a manner that I interpreted would be humorous to those that were paying attention.

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 02:44 PM
I expected better of you. I sleep on a couch, actually (it's more comfortable than my bed).

But seriously, I was just demonstrating the difference in a manner that I interpreted would be humorous to those that were paying attention.
alhamdulillah, i too, got scared for a sec!

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 02:45 PM
alhamdulillah, i too, got scared for a sec!I don't know why that happens. Sometimes I think Fatima, Hala, and UmmHamzah are the only sisters in the Qabeelah/Columbus Dawah that aren't "scared" of me.

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 02:48 PM
i'm just new on the forums...it's newbie-syndrome

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 02:51 PM
i'm just new on the forums...it's newbie-syndromeThen relax. The sisters here are great. It's the brothers you have to worry about. Don't chat with them too much.

(okay, okay, I'm done for today guys...)

craving-jannah
04-09-2007, 03:01 PM
What's your point?
I am staying out of this...
...alhamdulillah that atleast we have Abu H who would actually attempt to debate with the sisters.

Like the shaykh mentioned, men are practical. to the point. we are the kind, who after 20 mins of listenin to their wives and/or mother, and ask "WHAT's YOUR POINT?"

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 03:10 PM
i think the biggest lesson was...men and women are different in MOST regards and so instead of trying to change one another we must learn to deal with the differences and subhaanAllah, we have the perfect example of the Prophet (3layhi salaat was salaam) to emulate...alhamdulillah!

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 03:13 PM
i found it very amusing that the wives of the Prophet (3layhi salaat was salaam) had started a little group amongst themselves...

one being led by Aisha (radhi Allahu ta'ala anha) and the other by Umm Salamah!

subhaanAllah...it's true we don't think of these ordinary things when it comes to the life of the Prophet (3layhi salaat was salaam) and his wives!

UmmSakinah
04-09-2007, 03:52 PM
Wow! I leave the forums for a few hours and this is what I return to?

Interesting!

time spent with her vs time spent for her: great way to put it.

"scared" of Abu Hurayrah? O' sisters, do NOT fear the father of kittens...

What's your point? I don't remember if my husband ever did this to me, but now he just goes...."Acha, achaa."

Surprisingly though, he does listen to my prattling.


My gem: it may take some time for you and your spouse to get in tune with each other, so in the meantime, just face those 'rocky waters' with patience and tolerance. Don't bail out. Persevere. Inshaallah you will be rewarded. The first few years might be difficult, but after 5 years, you go into different territorirs, after 10, another territory, after 20 I suppose another terrirory wallahu a'lam, but think of it as..husband and wife dunya wal akhirah inshaallah. Ameen.

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 04:22 PM
What's your point? I don't remember if my husband ever did this to me, but now he just goes...."Acha, achaa."Don't worry...he does that with the brothers, too...so you're not alone.

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 04:26 PM
"scared" of Abu Hurayrah? O' sisters, do NOT fear the father of kittens...I just realized how ironic it is that these sisters are scared of me, given my name. It's like I'm some kind of comical villain...like, "The Evil Dr. Snowflake" or "The Dreaded Mr. Cupcake".

Abu Hurayrah - Father of Kitten - feared by all...

craving-jannah
04-09-2007, 05:53 PM
i think the biggest lesson was...men and women are different in MOST regards and so instead of trying to change one another we must learn to deal with the differences and subhaanAllah, we have the perfect example of the Prophet (3layhi salaat was salaam) to emulate...alhamdulillah!

i asked a question to sh yaser earlier regarding this topic of men and women's inherent nature, and this is what he answer.

http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=17713

Hala
04-09-2007, 06:08 PM
"If you love me, you will (fill in the blank)" i.e. take out the trash.

Don't bargain with love, you never know when he'll take it seriously, and all things may go down from there! Only use this tactic/technique when it's serious and/or needed.

Hala
04-09-2007, 06:10 PM
Q&A
Can a husband hit his wife?

subhanAllah, if it even reached this stage to begin with, things are SERIOUSLY wrong, serious enough for a divorce. The earlier the problem is noticed, the earlier it can be fixed. Don't wait till you get a black eye to go to counseling.

Hala
04-09-2007, 06:27 PM
wifey: My hubby doesn't listen to me, he doesn't understand.
hubby: My wifey talks too much, whats she tryna say?

Women should explain themselves clearly and effectively. Don't beat around the bush, he WON'T get it.
Men should listen with open ears, think about it, then process what she said. THINK about it. Be considerate, especially when she's an emotional wreck!

UmmSakinah
04-09-2007, 06:48 PM
Who has the gemboard, post all the gems on there to this thread. Or is that what you are doing, Hala?

Anyone making the newsletter?

Hala
04-09-2007, 06:52 PM
Dont treat your friends better than you would treat your wife. Don't treat her like the bottom of your shoes.

Welcome her like you would welcome your friends, serve her if she's had a long day, don't wait for her to ask. BONUS points for doing it without her asking.

Wake up each morning and ask yourselves, what can I do for my wifey/hubby right now, how can I surprise her? Start her morning off great! Guaranteed she wont have a tantrum.....till the next day :D
Remember: It's till akhirah in shaa Allah. Attain jannah together.

Hala
04-09-2007, 06:53 PM
Who has the gemboard, post all the gems on there to this thread. Or is that what you are doing, Hala?

Anyone making the newsletter?I don't have the gem boards...

more info on the newsletter coming soon...

Hala
04-09-2007, 07:02 PM
If you're a health major, you've read books and books on the anatomy of the human being. Throughout our lives, we've gone over hundreds of textbooks and solved thousands of math problems..etc.

How many books have we read on love and marriage in Islam? We've read the work of shakespeare, but have we read the work of ibn Hazm or any of the other scholars?
I sat in class feeling ashamed with a new goal of reading at least some of the works the shaykh listed.

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 07:48 PM
___________ was known to be ugly (the name just slipped my mind...some help???)

now that was SAD...

a woman compared him to the look of a devil!

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 07:51 PM
___________ was known to be ugly (the name just slipped my mind...some help???)

now that was SAD...

a woman compared him to the look of a devil!Aljaahir. One of the earlier thinkers/founders of the Mu`tazalee sect. He's the one that took a very strange approach to the concept of love.

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 07:54 PM
Aljaahir. One of the earlier thinkers/founders of the Mu`tazalee sect. He's the one that took a very strange approach to the concept of love.
jazaakAllah

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:34 PM
Devotion to Allah above love for the spouse.


(from sisters' gem board)

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:35 PM
Islam frees us from unneccessary cultural obligations.

(from the brothers' gem board)

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:38 PM
The Prophet salallahu 'alayhi wa salam didn't preach 24/7, but spoke casually and was playful with his wives.

(from the sisters' gem board)

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:41 PM
The Prophet salallahu 'alayhi wa salam was not afraid to tell his friends he loved his wife.


(from the brothers' gem board)

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:46 PM
Knowledge increases when you spread it - unlike money.

(from the sisters' gem board)

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:49 PM
Religion [Quraan & Sunnah] before Culture!


(from brothers' gem board)

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:54 PM
Marriage = Compromise


(from the sisters' gem board)

bintamina
04-09-2007, 09:56 PM
Women are different, but just as valuable as men.


(from brothers' gem board)

luqmanhakim
04-09-2007, 10:00 PM
"...Maybe in the Jannah!..."

bintamina
04-09-2007, 10:01 PM
Have patience with salaat-ul-istikharah; & may Allah guide you to a decision which leaves you content and satisfied.

bintamina
04-09-2007, 10:04 PM
Marriage is a blessing, not a crime.


(from brothers' gem board)

UmmSakinah
04-09-2007, 10:10 PM
jazakillah khair bintamina for posting these gems from the gems boards..that's a lotta work.

bintamina
04-09-2007, 10:14 PM
Women carrying the name of their father after marriage is a right for them - as taking on husband's name may connote ownership. Marriage is not ownership.

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 10:17 PM
jazaakAllah Khair!

Abu Hurayrah
04-09-2007, 10:22 PM
I guess that answers the question of who has the gem boards!

Hala
04-09-2007, 11:10 PM
Women are different, but just as valuable as men.

(from brothers' gem board)
I'm glad our brothers realize this... what a relief.

eternalmuslimah
04-09-2007, 11:12 PM
men are like rubberbands! :p

craving-jannah
04-10-2007, 12:22 AM
Marriage includes 3 rings:
Engagement RING
Wedding RING
SuffeRING
(from LN at Chicago)

NOTE: the only thing allowed to be worn is the 3rd ring! The other two has non-Islamic connotation attached to it. As the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them."
[Not a pessimist or anyting, just found the quote funny and interesting!!!]

craving-jannah
04-10-2007, 12:30 AM
True love starts AFTER marriage. Anything before that is JUST an experience.

Kaltham
04-10-2007, 12:33 AM
Aljaahir. One of the earlier thinkers/founders of the Mu`tazalee sect. He's the one that took a very strange approach to the concept of love.
Al Jahith or Al Jahizh.

Fii Amaani'Laah

Kaltham
04-10-2007, 12:35 AM
Islam does not change our cultures or our human nature, it just cultivates it and brings about order to it.

Fii Amaani'Laah

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 12:36 AM
Al Jahith or Al Jahizh.

Fii Amaani'Laah
yeah i thought it wasn't jaahir...must confirm it with all our notes insha'Allah

Allah 3lam

Kaltham
04-10-2007, 12:36 AM
I don't know why that happens. Sometimes I think Fatima, Hala, and UmmHamzah are the only sisters in the Qabeelah/Columbus Dawah that aren't "scared" of me.
You got that right..!!

Fii Amaani'Laah

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 12:39 AM
what's a 'sticky' thread by the way?

i guess i should include a gem, right?

hmm..men think more about physical satisfaction and women more about emotional

don't misread your spouse's signals!

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 01:22 AM
men are afraid of losing their bachelor's degrees and women are afraid of gaining the master's degree

UmmSakinah
04-10-2007, 06:53 AM
yeah i thought it wasn't jaahir...must confirm it with all our notes insha'Allah

Allah 3lamIt's Al Jahez. That's how Sheikh Yaser spelled it on free friday.

Hala
04-10-2007, 12:37 PM
Women are like waves, they go up and down. One minute they're happy, the next they're having a tantrum, an hour later, they're smiling :)

MEN: BEWARE, the number of drowning deaths in the US inreases each year. Swim with caution :)

Hala
04-10-2007, 02:10 PM
We are not supposed to compete with each other, rather, we should complete each other.

When I heard this gem, MRS. QABEELAT HAYL came to my mind. We shouldn't try to out work, out design, our recruit, out stalk, or out perform each other. Imagine if we made the goal to come together and make our qabeelah 1 very effective student tribe with 1 awesome group of Haylthers and Haylsters who are here to work together for the sake of Allah [swt]. No more division.

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 02:15 PM
We are not supposed to compete with each other, rather, we should complete each other.

When I heard this gem, MRS. QABEELAT HAYL came to my mind. We shouldn't try to out work, out design, our recruit, out stalk, or out perform each other. Imagine if we made the goal to come together and make our qabeelah 1 very effective student tribe with 1 awesome group of Haylthers and Haylsters who are here to work together for the sake of Allah [swt]. No more division.
subhaanAllah...my banana is reflecting and coming up with beautiful ideas masha'Allah!

we know our differences, now it's time to use this knowledge to our advantage insha'Allah!

Hala
04-10-2007, 06:17 PM
Many couples these days don't make time for each other. Oh no! What to do! Make the time!

Brothers, cut down your PC time half
Sisters, cut down your phone time half

Spend that time together, voila! Extra time just found :) Think of where your time goes, write it out task by task. You'll find that most of it is a waste. Take that extra time and go walking, or just spend an evening alone and chit chat.

UmmSakinah
04-10-2007, 06:28 PM
Many couples these days don't make time for each other. Oh no! What to do! Make the time!

Brothers, cut down your PC time half
Sisters, cut down your phone time half

Spend that time together, voila! Extra time just found :) Think of where your time goes, write it out task by task. You'll find that most of it is a waste. Take that extra time and go walking, or just spend an evening alone and chit chat.aww I love this one :D

spana3rabia
04-10-2007, 07:53 PM
Women carrying the name of their father after marriage is a right for them - as taking on husband's name may connote ownership. Marriage is not ownership.
subhanAllah growing up in the West where its the norm for the woman to change her name once she gets married...i never thought about it this way, and i bet if more Americans looked at it thsi way they would[the women atleast] resent this tradition.

spana3rabia
04-10-2007, 07:55 PM
Women are like waves, they go up and down. One minute they're happy, the next they're having a tantrum, an hour later, they're smiling :)

MEN: BEWARE, the number of drowning deaths in the US inreases each year. Swim with caution :)
..don't muslims who drown die as shaheeds? ;P [we shall accept our thank-you cards now..] :D

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 08:16 PM
this someone still wants to know what a sticky thread is!

spana3rabia
04-10-2007, 08:18 PM
this someone still wants to know what a sticky thread is!

you want to know what a sticky thread is?

its when it has like a little icon of a sticky next to the thread.
meaning the thread stays at the top of the page of this folder even if nobody posts on it for a while.
This ensures that more people will see this thread and it will not be pushed to the bottom.[and forgotten.]


I hope I answered your question...

Hala
04-10-2007, 08:18 PM
this someone still wants to know what a sticky thread is!A sticky thread is a thread that will always remain at the top of the forum. It's 'stuck' there. Other threads, when people stop posting in them, go down cuz the thread are listed in terms of latest activity. This thread will remain at the top of the Love Notes forum regardless of activitiy... hope that helps :)

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 08:19 PM
subhanAllah growing up in the West where its the norm for the woman to change her name once she gets married...i never thought about it this way, and i bet if more Americans looked at it thsi way they would[the women atleast] resent this tradition.
yeah subhaanAllah! i was kinda suprised that he said you shouldn't even hyphenate your last name to include your father and your husband's name :D

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 08:20 PM
A sticky thread is a thread that will always remain at the top of the forum. It's 'stuck' there. Other threads, when people stop posting in them, go down cuz the thread are listed in terms of latest activity. This thread will remain at the top of the Love Notes forum regardless of activitiy... hope that helps :)
jazaak Allah banana!

at least SOMEONE cared to answer...

you rock!

eternalmuslimah
04-10-2007, 09:51 PM
check this out...it relates to what we learned


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsYOI1pDssI

daacad
04-10-2007, 11:07 PM
Women are like the furnac in the house, if they're not at home it is too cold,(gonna miss) and when they'r at home it is too hot (too much argument)

eternalmuslimah
04-11-2007, 12:10 AM
NEVER take your wife for granted, or you may end up like zawj bareerah!

Umar Ibn Khatab
04-11-2007, 12:36 AM
Very surprised on how men and women can say the same things and still not understand each other :).

Umar Ibn Khatab
04-11-2007, 12:38 AM
Some brothers still waiting for the sisters to propose to them :). Always been a gem.

Hala
04-11-2007, 08:37 AM
I like beautiful people.

Define beauty:

Beautiful=smart or
Beautiful=tall or
Beautiful=rich ?

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Look for what's beautiful to you, seek it out, and put societies expectations on the back burner.

MohamedS
04-11-2007, 09:51 AM
Assalamu Alaykum

Marriage is an art of compromise

craving-jannah
04-11-2007, 11:44 AM
Hawa (eve) was created from the rib of Adam...
...from under the arm of Adam for PROTECTION
&
close to the heart with LOVE


arif

Precious Pearl
04-11-2007, 11:47 AM
Hawa (eve) was created from the rib of Adam...

...from under the arm of Adam for PROTECTION
&
close to the heart with LOVE





arif
Well put... http://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon12.gif

mahin
04-11-2007, 11:48 AM
Religion [Quraan & Sunnah] before Culture!


(from brothers' gem board)

The desi version of this gem:

Religion(Qu'raan and Sunnah) before Culture(Pir Saab).

Hala
04-11-2007, 11:57 AM
The desi version of this gem:

(Pir Saab).What does that mean?

craving-jannah
04-11-2007, 12:14 PM
What does that mean?
A Pir (Persian: ???) in literal meaning defines as old (person).
In Sufism it is a reference for a Sufi master.
I don't know how they do it elsewhere, but in the sub-continental regions, people go the living pirs and the graves of dead pirs for intercessions.

Hala
04-11-2007, 02:44 PM
A Pir (Persian: ???) in literal meaning defines as old (person).
In Sufism it is a reference for a Sufi master.
I don't know how they do it elsewhere, but in the sub-continental regions, people go the living pirs and the graves of dead pirs for intercessions.^ Interesting.

Think you're too cool for counseling? Too cool to ask for advice? Just can't seem to man-up about it?

Then you must be cool enough for a DIVORCE huh?

Don't be afraid to ask for help, and do it before it's too late.
Just ask Mugheeth

Hala
04-11-2007, 03:55 PM
Are men and women equal?

There should be no comparison, men and women are DIFERRENT!

Hala
04-11-2007, 03:57 PM
Don't go grocery shopping with your husband, he'll rush you :)
If he must, hide his watch when he takes it off to make wudu :)

eternalmuslimah
04-11-2007, 04:49 PM
i was listening to the FOL cd with my friend just now...and recalled

We should learn to look beyond the first attraction and look to what's in the other's heart

craving-jannah
04-12-2007, 12:18 AM
Todays Match-UP
MOTHER vs. WIFE
Referee: MAN aka. SON aka. HUSBAND
Advice to the referee: Play it smart!


Two women vying for the same person's love. But both need to realize that the man has different form of love for either women in question.

Advice from the Shaykh: Don't make the husband choose between you and his mother. He might make a decision that someone will regret.

Osob Mohamud
04-12-2007, 12:29 AM
This is the first gem that i have wrote down since i took the class i dont know if i am correct but if i am wrong plz correct me insha'allah.
Ruling of marriage
Mistahab (recommended) deepening if he can take care of a wife

Wajib (must (I think:S) if he can physically, financially, treat her well and if he is going to fear that he will fall into finta

Macroob (disliked) marriage that is an act of worship, takes up time, wealth, good character and fuflings once desire.

Haram: if he can't financially take care of a wire and doesn’t treat her well and just does it for the sake of getting married

Osob Mohamud
04-12-2007, 12:41 AM
Don't go grocery shopping with your husband, he'll rush you :)
If he must, hide his watch when he takes it off to make wudu :)
LOOOL hala.. sooooo true so true make sure you hide the cell phone too while your at it. I dont think to many people look at their watches anymore, they reach for the cell phones

Monazza
04-12-2007, 10:24 AM
"The man is the head of the house and the women is the neck. So wherever the neck goes, the head goes." :p

Monazza
04-12-2007, 10:26 AM
Advice from the Shaykh: Don't make the husband choose between you and his mother. He might make a decision that someone will regret.
Arif--REALLY good one!

eternalmuslimah
04-12-2007, 01:51 PM
omg! i just had one that i remembered...and astaghfirullah i forgot it...i had it in mind since last night :(

khair insha'Allah

Nazmus_Thakib
04-12-2007, 05:19 PM
From FOL class

When man has illness, they behave like babies.

It is so true...... :(

Nazmus_Thakib
04-12-2007, 05:24 PM
Mom deserves your 75% attention, as opposed to 25% for the dad.

Based on the Hadeeth of Rasool'Allah SAW where he (SAW) repeated 'mother' 3 times. Then he mentioned about father.

Hala
04-12-2007, 06:41 PM
..:The case of the dowry:..


Wifes family:The higher the dowry, the less likely he'll divorce her. Muahaha, we'll show him! :cool:


Husbands family: Oh would ya look at that, astaghfirullah! We must follow the sunnah on this one. $50,000!! Prophet didn't do that! :rolleyes: (hehehe)

Follow the sunnah in ALL cases, not just in the case of the dowry. There aint no losing when it's the sunnah way!

High dowry doesn't ensure a lasting marriage! If he hates you that much, he'll go into debt to divorce you :D

Hala
04-12-2007, 06:53 PM
You can have the lavish $25,000 wedding, where you'd be paying $1.73 per second.


or


You can hold it in the house of Allah [swt] and gain the reward of calling people to His house, and if they pray, even more for you. I hear $$$ in deeds!

Just open up your dusty copy of bukhari and read. Are you pro sunnah, or pro debt?

craving-jannah
04-12-2007, 08:00 PM
High dowry doesn't ensure a lasting marriage! If he hates you that much, he'll go into debt to divorce you :D

classic!

UmmSakinah
04-12-2007, 08:13 PM
I love Hala's gems!

Osob Mohamud
04-12-2007, 08:41 PM
Hala Its True Masha'allah Ur Gems Are Great!

eternalmuslimah
04-12-2007, 09:56 PM
in today's society, doing the 7araam is getting easier than doing the 7alaal

may Allah save us from such sin, insha'Allah

Hala
04-12-2007, 11:17 PM
Ghustaghee Maaf
maafkan saaya
je suis desole
aasef
scusami
raali ohow
I'm sorry

I'm sorry means just that, I'm sorry

ladies: Don't question his apology so much, he may stop apologizing all together
~~~~~~~~
brothers: don't just say it passively, or else she'll question every apology you make

eternalmuslimah
04-12-2007, 11:50 PM
Ghustaghee Maaf

maafkan saaya
je suis desole
aasef
scusami
raali ohow
I'm sorry

I'm sorry means just that, I'm sorry

ladies: Don't question his apology so much, he may stop apologizing all together
~~~~~~~~
brothers: don't just say it passively, or else she'll question every apology you make


subhaanAllah...where'd u get 'ghustaghee maaf'? that's sooo formal, i don't even know if people use that haha

Hala
04-12-2007, 11:53 PM
subhaanAllah...where'd u get 'ghustaghee maaf'? that's sooo formal, i don't even know if people use that hahafine! :D
maaf karna
:)

eternalmuslimah
04-12-2007, 11:54 PM
fine! :D
maaf karna
:)
much better!

gosh! first kaha almost killed me...seriously! and now you...

eternalmuslimah
04-13-2007, 12:13 AM
call each other with beautiful nicknames---no matter how long u've been married!

Osob Mohamud
04-13-2007, 12:15 AM
LOL Hala so it was a good idea for u too think it over. Great Gem!

eternalmuslimah
04-13-2007, 12:15 AM
remember when the shaykh mentioned how the husband and wife are during their honeymoon stage?

wife almost trips and the husband is so concerned...but within like a period of 2 years even he'll be like 'can't u see?'

eternalmuslimah
04-13-2007, 07:57 PM
huh... who are u...
u'r probably the only one who still doesn't know...

but then again...who are you? :D

eternalmuslimah
04-13-2007, 08:26 PM
i don't think i know any 'zubeida' though...unless u ddn't put ur own name on here...

ok, so i guess i shd put a gem here again? i feel bad going off topic ever so often...

*thinking*

when talking to someone, your tone is very important...it can make a world of a difference to the person that you're speaking to

eternalmuslimah
04-13-2007, 08:28 PM
squinty mcsquintenson... does that ring a bell?
nope!

eternalmuslimah
04-15-2007, 12:13 AM
a man should not spend more than an avg. of 4 months away from his spouse and family

eternalmuslimah
04-15-2007, 12:23 AM
what's the numero uno reason for marital discord?

*drum...errr...duf roll* :D

SHAYTAAN!!!

Hala
04-18-2007, 10:20 PM
Just when shaytaan is whispering to you, DON'T DO IT.

He's probably telling you to give your wife a blackeye...but yknow what you NEED to do?


Give him a BLACK EYE!
Take it allll out on shaytaan, not on your poor innocent wife.

Hala
04-18-2007, 10:23 PM
When was the last time you wanted to respond to your wife during a tantrum? :(
When was the last time you did respond to her...in a BAD kinda way? :mad:
(Women NEVER forget, just when you forget, she'll remind you about it :))

When you get heated and angry, DON'T say a word, write it down.
Come back to it in 24 hrs, guaranteed you'll be over it. (And she won't spend the night crying cuz you called her a baby :D)

Hala
04-18-2007, 10:25 PM
Women are tape recorders.
Everything you say can and WILL be used against you.

Hala
04-18-2007, 10:26 PM
ya ahl ul Hayl?? Where you at??!!
(getting ready for the big event? ;))

eternalmuslimah
04-18-2007, 11:04 PM
hmm...

You should let your wifey have a (7alaal) 'Girls Night Out' with her friends, occasionally

and once you give her permission and the chance to go Don't call her a zillion times and ask when she'll be coming home! insha'Allah she'll know her responsibilities and be back in time

and umm...don't forget to say 'have a great time and i love you' at the door ♥

Also, don't make the house a mess while she's out and make sure the kids go to bed on time...:)

eternalmuslimah
04-18-2007, 11:08 PM
when thinking of giving your wife a present to show your appreciation towards her...do not...and i repeat, DO NOT!!!...GIVE HER A BLENDER!!! or anything else for the house...for that matter!

bintNaim
04-19-2007, 03:39 AM
Women are tape recorders.
Everything you say can and WILL be used against you.

mashaAllah Hala,
this is yet another amazing gem from you! :D

bintNaim
04-19-2007, 03:43 AM
it seems like most of you are super extra ready for the class!
i hope you guys have a wonderful time and bounty of ilm from the class.
and please, do share them with me =)

Hala
04-19-2007, 09:39 AM
mashaAllah Hala,
this is yet another amazing gem from you! :DWho knew posting gems would be so much fun :D
I'm having a blast!

Hala
04-19-2007, 09:40 AM
when thinking of giving your wife a present to show your appreciation towards her...do not...and i repeat, DO NOT!!!...GIVE HER A BLENDER!!! or anything else for the house...for that matter!This would be like telling her she needs to cook more often, or even worse, better! Big NO-NO.

UmmSakinah
04-19-2007, 05:00 PM
This would be like telling her she needs to cook more often, or even worse, better! Big NO-NO.Actually, it's not the actually gift that matters, it's the thought.
I would actually appreciate it if my husband gives me a blender if I have been complaining about my old blender needing replacing :) That shows his attentiveness and that says a lot about him as a husband.

eternalmuslimah
04-19-2007, 10:27 PM
Actually, it's not the actually gift that matters, it's the thought.
I would actually appreciate it if my husband gives me a blender if I have been complaining about my old blender needing replacing :) That shows his attentiveness and that says a lot about him as a husband.
subhaanAllah! see? a good wife would think like that! alhamdulillah

eternalmuslimah
04-19-2007, 10:29 PM
The Prophet (3layhi as-salaat wa salaam) said:

“A believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another."

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

eternalmuslimah
04-19-2007, 10:31 PM
Prophet (3layhi as-salaat was-salaam) said:

‘The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.’

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

daacad
04-20-2007, 12:30 AM
The man is the head of the house but the woman is the neck of the house and the head goes wherever the neck goes.

daacad
04-22-2007, 12:08 AM
When we speak of rulings of love, we must describe two things. One is optional and one is not. The optional love is what leads to love (eyesight, association, etc.) and this is the love that you have to beware of (for it may lead to unlawful acts.) The non optional love, if it happens by the sudden look, or natural passions that develop, you cannot be blamed for it, but it's how you react to it that Allah will hold you to accountable for.

[Ibn Qayyim]

fsharifa
04-22-2007, 12:21 AM
Hayl....so how do people join the Gabilats...supposedly am am ummat mahammat something i forget...probably this is the wrong palce to post this...but i would like to find out about where is happening what...i have listened to figh of love...the best learning experience i have ever had...thnx for the response in advance...

eternalmuslimah
04-22-2007, 12:31 AM
Hayl....so how do people join the Gabilats...supposedly am am ummat mahammat something i forget...probably this is the wrong palce to post this...but i would like to find out about where is happening what...i have listened to figh of love...the best learning experience i have ever had...thnx for the response in advance...
http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=20231

eternalmuslimah
04-22-2007, 12:34 AM
women are fitnah for men and men are fitnah for women

(i.e. we are tested throught the opposite gender...if we are being chaste in our interactions with non-mahrams and lowering our gazes)

daacad
04-24-2007, 12:13 PM
Loving for the sake of Allah is a sign of the perfection of faith.

eternalmuslimah
04-25-2007, 11:37 PM
if you must have a t.v., the worst place to put it is in the bedroom...instead of watching t.v. before bed, you have a great time to catch up with what's going on in your spouse's life and how their day went...

use that 'spare' time to reconnect

eternalmuslimah
05-24-2007, 01:14 AM
"Of Love--may God exalt you!--the first part is jesting, and the last part is right earnestness. So majestic are its diverse aspects, they are too subtle to be described; their reality can only be apprehended by personal experience. Love is neither disapproved by Religion, nor prohibited by the Law; for every heart is in God's hands."

- Ibn Hazm

Lola
10-29-2007, 03:12 PM
The fewer orders a wife is given, the less chances she has of going to Hell (because of not following them)