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Muhammad Alshareef
04-14-2007, 08:06 AM
As salamu alaykum,
I'm preparing the "Master your Emotions" live event and going through attendee surveys. Again and again under the question of "Who/what are you most grateful for in life?" people write: my mother!

I saw it so many times ... no one mentioned their father. no one mentioned parents (to at least give the dad a chance) :(

So I wonder: fathers, what are you doing today to nurture your children? Or what are you plans for future children? Is the goal just to 'have' children, or is it more then that?

Your thoughts?

Hasan
04-14-2007, 08:35 AM
Wa 'alaikum as-salaam wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakaatuh,

The way I see it, the father is the leader of his family and, like all good leaders, his primary role is developing (http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=20091) his followers into leaders as well.

Wa Allahu a'lam.

AbdulHasib
04-14-2007, 11:47 AM
Bismillahi ar-Rahman ar-Raheem,

I think it's no 'secret' trend that most of the successful people we know of and have met had those amazing parents behind them.. (look at the 4 famous imaams for example! no.. look at MOST of the scholars of islam's parents and their taqwa!). Even shaykh Muhammad, you mentioned you do this hand survey of all the huffadh you meet and ask them if their parents prayed tahajjud.. the results speak for themselves.

Backing up what akhi Hasan said; and adding, in contrast, I think it's in some people's background and lack of parenting that led to a lot of the shabaab going astray. Even in older age it may have led to emotional distress, perhaps failure, as well as the inculcated parental abuse within them that may result in problems in their OWN parenting (learned behaviour). A Lack of developing leadership includes also (as we learned in psychology) developing a childs rate of failure! Through things such as constant shaming, which in some cultures has become a norm, kids are set up for failure (and shaming is the very LEAST of it, which may include abuse, etc). (An EXCELLENT book referred to by one of my psychology profs who is also a therapist: "Healing the Shame That Binds You" by John Bradshaw (http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-That-Binds-You/dp/0932194869), I see this as almost a must read for your seminar shaykh -). Just READ the reviews!!!)

It's in this lack of parenting (includes all realms of parenting; e.g. communication) I think is a fore runner in a lot of our social problems in our communities today.

And even more so, this is in my honest opinion due to a lack of nearness to Allah 'azza wa jal (and having taqwa wholistically), and more so as we are 'reviving the islamic spirit' within our communities, I see a greater trend in 'pick and choose' Islam a lot of parents are falling into.

To be fair and balanced, I say this of course taking into account that it goes from both ways, there are of course cases where good parents suffer 'bad' children. (Nuh 'alaihisalaam is a highlight example.. Innaka la tahdee man ahbabt)

But since we are discussing "what are our 'fathers/parents' doing?" it highlights problems within the community. I thought I would share some things I personally see prevalent in people I've dealt with that, more or less, are aching for classes like what shaykh Muhammad is offering, How to Master Your Emotions. (even more so why i truly pine to attend, the benefit if you truly realize and learn how to affect people in the way shaykh Muhammad, and all of the instructors teach, is INFINITE.. -/)

If anything I suggest we should gear this class toward the parents as well! Insha'aAllah it's time to focus systematic change in our family structure. (Maybe a "$200 x 2!" special where they HAVE to bring at least one parent with them to the class, if not both).

what are you plans for future children? Is the goal just to 'have' children, or is it more then that?
Parenting is such a great amaanah. It goes more than just birthing and feeding the child. It goes more than just educating the child. These are RIGHTS of the child which you HAVE to do. (i.e. as PARENTS you do not complain about your RESPONSIBILITIES and see them as BURDENS! We will be asked about our flock by Allah ta'la, who is there to complain to His Lord about what he's been enjoined with? This is why Allah ta'la in turn has made OBEYING the parents after His worship! 'la tushrik billah WA bil waalidayni ihsaana..')

I remember a brother once telling something profound, but at the same time kind of sad for me personally. I had asked him what were his reasons for making hijrah and studying and raising his family overseas after his studies instead of going out for da'wah. Among the things he mentioned, he said "I want to raise my children to become the 'oolama that we never could become." And isn't there so much truth in that..

There are 3 ways of parenting:

1. Authoritarian - "my way or the HIGHWAY!" These parents demand a lot from their child, but do not give in response. Giving orders and setting strict rules to be obeyed is common in their method. Often stereotyped as a ‘Military Style’, this technique can sometimes lead to physical abuse.
2. Authoritative - Allows for a voice though enforces the limits. Most communicative. Most Successful Child. Often recognized as the best style, Authoritative parents set some limits for their children, but also listen and nurture them to some extent. A blend of Permissive and Authoritarian, they get the most respect out of all types. Often stereotyped as the famous ‘TV Family’ style, these children grow up to be the most well rounded and level headed.
3. Permissive - EVERYTHING goes. Set NO limits. These parents encourage their children to their fullest, but do not set limits. They emphasize creativity and feelings, although their children often feel unloved as a result of not having many restrictions. Often stereotyped as the ’Hippy Style’, these children become rebellious against their parents.

Just as this deen is deenul wasat - the moderate religion, we take the middle path in parenting.

And it's an admonition for all of us, if we fall into the extremes, (1) and (3), which one of us would want for our children to go through so much their only memory of us begins with, "WHEN I GROW UP... I WISH I'M NEVER LIKE YOU/DO WHAT YOU DO."

WAllahul Musta'an.

May Allah 'azza wa jal purify our intentions and allow us to raise, and at least be part of, the future flag bearers of this Ummah.. Ameen.

And Allah 'azza wa jal Knows Best..

Sistamatic
04-14-2007, 11:48 AM
After reading this thread I started thinking about my dad. Naturally being female I have a relationship with my mother that I could never have with my father. Then again he has done things for me that my mother could never do for me.

I am most grateful for my dad for instilling in me a love for the deen. For never giving up when we were rebellious. For being strictly quran and sunnah. Alhamdullilah.

Muhammad Alshareef
04-14-2007, 12:25 PM
... cause i'm thinking, Fatima, radi Allahu 'anha, would mention her father. Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam.

Then on the other hand, is it the nature of the children to depreciate what their father has done for them? Maybe, sure, they didn't nurture them emotionally, but they were working day and night so that the family would have a roof and food on the table. He nurtured them in a different way, a way that most people do not appreciate.

UmmSakinah
04-14-2007, 02:07 PM
I think it's most probably because fathers are less there than the mothers especially in cases where mothers stay at home. The children see the mother more than the fathers. That's probably one reason why they would always mention mothers. (It's like comfort food).

It also depends on the fathers though. Some fathers are not very affectionate and sometimes it's these little things that leave deep memories in children. Some fathers don't like to talk much (Men are from mars and Women are from Venus) so maybe the time they spend with their children are not that quality time.

But I have friends who are closer to their fathers than their mothers and I noticed that in these cases, their mothers work. Both parents work, but these people have fathers who are the talking type, spend quality time with their children, basically family men. They even spend time cooking with their kids. And in some cases, I noticed that they have mothers who are more authoritative than their fathers, meaning the fathers are the quiet type who gives in to the mothers, mothers more domineering. I don't know if that is a factor but these kids seem to adore their fathers more. Allahu aalim.

I'm not a father but these are the things I noticed from grown kids who talk about their parents.

Sirius1
04-14-2007, 05:47 PM
As salamu alaykum,
I'm preparing the "Master your Emotions" live event and going through attendee surveys. Again and again under the question of "Who/what are you most grateful for in life?" people write: my mother!

I saw it so many times ... no one mentioned their father. no one mentioned parents (to at least give the dad a chance) :(.... cause i'm thinking, Fatima, radi Allahu 'anha, would mention her father. Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam.

Then on the other hand, is it the nature of the children to depreciate what their father has done for them? Maybe, sure, they didn't nurture them emotionally, but they were working day and night so that the family would have a roof and food on the table. He nurtured them in a different way, a way that most people do not appreciate.Assuming the population that was surveyed comprised of Islamically educated Muslims, I think, since Allah, Himself, compares His love with the love of mother (70 times more) and the Prophet (sa), said that the mother has 3x the right of companionship than the father...people feel indebted to return the mother's love and believe that she is the person they should feel the most grateful for. Perhaps, to them, it sounds like the Islamically right thing to do...and they say "My Mom!" without giving it a second thought, without analyzing how they really feel, and w/out analyzing their real situation. Some people may not be answering originally. Perhaps. Wallahu Alim.
Wa Alaykum Salaam.
PS: I'm not saying what the people feel is right/wrong. I'm just being skeptical of the (unanimous) results.

Generous_1
04-14-2007, 07:48 PM
One of the gems we learnt at the most recent kbw conference was that "Anta wa maluka la abik" i.e. you and your wealth belong to your father. Muslims in general tend to focus more on the issue of the mother having three times the father's right over them and as such tend to overlook the good their fathers do. But since we belong to our fathers that evens out the field a bit and I'm glad. I could never for a moment say that I'm more grateful to my mom over my dad because that would be unjust. May Allah grant our fathers Janatul firdaws. ameen.

Yusrah Uthman
04-14-2007, 07:57 PM
Then on the other hand, is it the nature of the children to depreciate what their father has done for them? Maybe, sure, they didn't nurture them emotionally, but they were working day and night so that the family would have a roof and food on the table. He nurtured them in a different way, a way that most people do not appreciate.
As salamu aleykum wr wb
Bismillah.

From what I have studied, well, I think it depends what kind of community you were raised with. Some cultural communities barely even know what a 'true' father is and many children grow up fatherless, even though there is a male parent in the house. Its a continuation of traditions and only the righteous kids will put a stop that that cycle. Those who are exposed to such truth, tend to appreciate there dad less.

The mother is the womb and the heart to the kids. However there are things that a father does which are more meaningful.

Take into consideration what the mother teaches the child. If she is dealt with badly, the kids will eventually depreciate the dad. Even if she is not treated in a wrong way, if she is not grateful to the father, then... the blame will fall on her.

Honestly, I can write a thesis about this. :D But then again, a high school student is not qualified to write one, wallahu Alem.

Take care
As salamu aleykum wr wb

Abu Hurayrah
04-14-2007, 08:08 PM
I have to agree with what most people are saying about the fact that it is something that is emphasized in terms of who has the most right to companionship, and the mother comes out three times ahead of the father.

However, I would imagine that you might be premature in drawing conclusions from such a small sample, wallaahu a`lam. That doesn't make it any less true, though...

Abdullah~
04-14-2007, 08:36 PM
Maybe, sure, they didn't nurture them emotionally, but they were working day and night so that the family would have a roof and food on the table. He nurtured them in a different way, a way that most people do not appreciate.Asalamu alaykum wa rahmattallah wa barakatu Shaykh and others,

Well, being a father is more than that, and that is what separates them.

A young man actually complained to me about the situation above, his father working so much and the young man complaining that the father thinks money will make the young man happy. I could tell from the son's expression like that to me that he needed more. It could be ungratefulness, at the same time the son definately has a point, wallahu Allam. The preparation of a human being is more than just physical and material, and a father is certainly responsible as well for that part which is more.

I think really deep down if the father is not teaching and/or practicing the deen the son follows suit like most would, they both know something is missing and the son knows down deep inside that something did not go right in his life and in his upbringing, and that he wasn't best prepared for life and wasn't given the critical tools of the deen and yet is at the same time a Muslim. And so what thoughts may he have about his father as a result, at least in part? And what will he learn to do and not to do?..

"And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small." May Allah azza wa jal guide us and our parents always and guide us to learn, and have mercy on us always, ameen. Wallahu Allam.

Asalamu alaykum

PS: I love my mother ;)

Rabiah - la Voyageure ©
04-14-2007, 09:37 PM
Quality Time With Dad (http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=2921)

zghansar
04-14-2007, 09:47 PM
In my survey I wrote "My parents" (BEFORE reading this thread).

To be honest I think people only tend to remember off the top of their head Mothers gentle caring love, but they dont remember dad's love which may not have been that gentle( :) ) but was very important.

I can easily say that the person I am today is because of my DAD. His firm hand on me which I was never thankful for during the teens, I CANT THANK him enough now. WAllah-u-alam what I would have become wihtout his firm hand over me.

One of biggest compliments someone ever paid to me was when they said that my nature is a reflection of the great upbringing my parents have given me. This person never met my parents, I was so happy that day and felt that I had not let down my parents.

Sarah Mushtaq
04-15-2007, 09:13 AM
I can easily say that the person I am today is because of my DAD. His firm hand on me which I was never thankful for during the teens, I CANT THANK him enough now. WAllah-u-alam what I would have become wihtout his firm hand over me.
SubhanAllah, I was wondering how to word it:) I feel the same way!

I think one thing, as kids, we forget a LOT, is the fact that our Dad is working 8-5 for us, to support us, because he loves us:) We just take it for granted! I mean, it only registered in my head about the severity the sacrifice Dads do when I actually decided to READ the BILLS one day. SubhanAllah. They never complain! There's so much on their shoulders yet they will take time to play with us and talk with us! It is sad that just because we are supposed to love our mothers more, we ignore our fathers..

May Allah swt bless and reward all the fathers for their sacrifices! Ameen.

knowledgeseeker
04-15-2007, 11:49 AM
Had me and my sisters have taken the survey, without hesistating for a moment we would have written father. Our father is the one person who made us proud muslimahs. I remember how he would make us sit in the circle and made us mermorize dua'as, or how he would sit on his bed and all the kids will surround him and he would tell us the stories of the prophets. Other times he would play with us, he was the one who taught me how to ride by two wheel bicycle!!. Not a day will pass by without him kissing us. He is the one who instilled confidence in us. We would not trade that ni3maa for any thing. He is the one who would make excuses for us in front of our mother so that we wont get in trouble with her. He would make our breakfast and he would sit with us and will tell us stories so that we can eat. I remember how once we were sitting and eating oranges, and my father pointed to the seeds and the skin that was on the plate and he asked us who is the one who can bring this to life, and thats how simply he instilled tawheed and the concept of akhira in us. As I am writing this, I am tearing, I love my father so much, I can discuss with him anything and everything, and he would listen with much compassion and understanding. I know , no matter what I do the one person who I can always go to is my father and will always find his arms open for me. May Allah Subhnauwat3laa protect him.

eternalmuslimah
04-15-2007, 12:19 PM
Had me and my sisters have taken the survey, without hesistating for a moment we would have written father. Our father is the one person who made us proud muslimahs. I remember how he would make us sit in the circle and made us mermorize dua'as, or how he would sit on his bed and all the kids will surround him and he would tell us the stories of the prophets. Other times he would play with us, he was the one who taught me how to ride by two wheel bicycle!!. Not a day will pass by without him kissing us. He is the one who instilled confidence in us. We would not trade that ni3maa for any thing. He is the one who would make excuses for us in front of our mother so that we wont get in trouble with her. He would make our breakfast and he would sit with us and will tell us stories so that we can eat. I remember how once we were sitting and eating oranges, and my father pointed to the seeds and the skin that was on the plate and he asked us who is the one who can bring this to life, and thats how simply he instilled tawheed and the concept of akhira in us. As I am writing this, I am tearing, I love my father so much, I can discuss with him anything and everything, and he would listen with much compassion and understanding. I know , no matter what I do the one person who I can always go to is my father and will always find his arms open for me. May Allah Subhnauwat3laa protect him.
Ameen!

every so often, i believe our fathers are misunderstood...

i mean come the age of marriage and people go out of their way to understand the psychology of men and how to interact with them...but how often do we try to apply the same in trying to understand our dads and where they come from?

subhaanAllah!

alhamdulillah i truly am grateful for my dad...he has taught me to be a more charitable person and oh so much more!

ALHAMDULILLAH!

Shama
04-16-2007, 11:21 AM
My Dear Father

Like melodious breeze
begetting rosemary dance
Or the resolute mountain
nurturing tender foliage
Perhaps the wave that discloses
gems and pearls and pebbles to the shore

Like the rain that pacifies,
arid, lush and spike alike
Or like the dusk that puts to rest
weary, wild, aged and child.
Nay, like the moon that engulfs
the patent, the veiled, the bemused in its charms

The charismatic one in lot, fortitude of rock,
he taught me how to fly like a hawk
Instilled belief no key can unlock,
who walked with me block after block
A guide, a shine on a dark dull dock,
of graciousness, a never ending stock

Of honour of dignity, explicit and bold
each day of excellence a tale is told
richness intense that embarrasses gold
vastness elegant no waves can unfold
uncover treasures, at no price can be sold
my fingers enclosed forever in his hold

I love you Papa
July 12, 2005

Shama
04-16-2007, 01:10 PM
If I was stripped of everything from this life, but the knowledge that my father is with me would suffice for everything. I do not have a ni3ma greater then that of my father.

Its not enough that a father works long hours to provide for the family becaseu there are lot of mothers that have been in the situation where they had to provide for the family too. I am sure ppl appreciate that but you cannot develop an emotional connection becaseu you are working to provide for the family. Your children need alot more nurturing then food and clothes.

This man, my father, has been the busiest man I have ever seen. He is a chemist and he was extremely invloved with the chemical industry. While we were young he completed his sharia degree. I used to wake up at 3am sometimes in the night and used to find the light in the dinning room still on where my father was lost in his books. In the morning he would leave for work. In the evening he used to have lectures or dawah projects that he was taking care off. Yet I dont remember a day when my father didnt kiss his children. I still don't know how to swing on my own becasue my father would push the swing for me. I didnt use to like eating solid food when i reached my teens and he would sit with me for hours trying to make me eat. I had a skin problem for some years and it was almost as if he couldnt breath till every evening when he would come back from work, he wouldn't change till he looked at my arms and check if I got any better. My mother did not have the opportunity to get an education when she was younger and she yearned to go to school, so he would drive her to school for an hour and would sit outsdie the school for 6-7 hours in the car memorizing Quran while my mother took her classes

I grew up learning all my deen from him, all my confidence from him. He would do a family halaqah every friday evening after work where he taught us tafseer, hadeeth, fiqh and alot more. At other times he would have all his kids sit around him and he would teach us a dua, verse by verse. We would go out and he would point to the trees in autumn and used to ask us who will bring the leaves back. He would stand on the door of my room and would call me with sweet names till I wake up for fajr. Then he would take my brothers to the masjid with him. I would argue about different fiqh opinions with him and I knew that he studied it but I would still argue till I would get it and he would be engaged in the discussion with me on the same level without ever giving the impression that he knows it all and i should just listen to him. I used to talk as if I know more then him.
I remember listening to a lecture and the speaker was saying, 'live like a slave to your rab and a servant to his creation. I look at this man, my father, and all he know is how to serve without compromising anything for this deen. For everything that he did for his family, and for everyone else, he would survive on two pieces of clothes till the stitch would come out or the clothes would become see through with long years of washing and using. And in the face of trials, I haven't seen anyone as patient and as content on the qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as Him.

At times when I would feel down or doubt myself, he would make me feel how proud he is for having me as a daughter. I look around my self, the fathers of my cousins of my freinds, and I feel humbled for the blessing of my father. Fathers like him are rare and are not born every day. If nothing, the ni3ma of my father alone would have me convinced on the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I wrote poetries sometimes but I never found words enough to describe what he means to me. I make dua every day that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless him with the highest of His jannah - I feel really humbled and I ask Allah to teach me words so that I can thank him properly – although I can never thank Him, subhanahu wa ta’ala enough

Memoona
04-16-2007, 08:18 PM
If I was stripped of everything from this life, but the knowledge that my father is with me would suffice for everything. I do not have a ni3ma greater then that of my father.

Its not enough that a father works long hours to provide for the family becaseu there are lot of mothers that have been in the situation where they had to provide for the family too. I am sure ppl appreciate that but you cannot develop an emotional connection becaseu you are working to provide for the family. Your children need alot more nurturing then food and clothes.

This man, my father, has been the busiest man I have ever seen. He is a chemist and he was extremely invloved with the chemical industry. While we were young he completed his sharia degree. I used to wake up at 3am sometimes in the night and used to find the light in the dinning room still on where my father was lost in his books. In the morning he would leave for work. In the evening he used to have lectures or dawah projects that he was taking care off. Yet I dont remember a day when my father didnt kiss his children. I still don't know how to swing on my own becasue my father would push the swing for me. I didnt use to like eating solid food when i reached my teens and he would sit with me for hours trying to make me eat. I had a skin problem for some years and it was almost as if he couldnt breath till every evening when he would come back from work, he wouldn't change till he looked at my arms and check if I got any better. My mother did not have the opportunity to get an education when she was younger and she yearned to go to school, so he would drive her to school for an hour and would sit outsdie the school for 6-7 hours in the car memorizing Quran while my mother took her classes

I grew up learning all my deen from him, all my confidence from him. He would do a family halaqah every friday evening after work where he taught us tafseer, hadeeth, fiqh and alot more. At other times he would have all his kids sit around him and he would teach us a dua, verse by verse. We would go out and he would point to the trees in autumn and used to ask us who will bring the leaves back. He would stand on the door of my room and would call me with sweet names till I wake up for fajr. Then he would take my brothers to the masjid with him. I would argue about different fiqh opinions with him and I knew that he studied it but I would still argue till I would get it and he would be engaged in the discussion with me on the same level without ever giving the impression that he knows it all and i should just listen to him. I used to talk as if I know more then him.
I remember listening to a lecture and the speaker was saying, 'live like a slave to your rab and a servant to his creation. I look at this man, my father, and all he know is how to serve without compromising anything for this deen. For everything that he did for his family, and for everyone else, he would survive on two pieces of clothes till the stitch would come out or the clothes would become see through with long years of washing and using. And in the face of trials, I haven't seen anyone as patient and as content on the qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as Him.

At times when I would feel down or doubt myself, he would make me feel how proud he is for having me as a daughter. I look around my self, the fathers of my cousins of my freinds, and I feel humbled for the blessing of my father. Fathers like him are rare and are not born every day. If nothing, the ni3ma of my father alone would have me convinced on the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I wrote poetries sometimes but I never found words enough to describe what he means to me. I make dua every day that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless him with the highest of His jannah - I feel really humbled and I ask Allah to teach me words so that I can thank him properly – although I can never thank Him, subhanahu wa ta’ala enoughWallahi this post brought tears to my eyes. May Allah (subhaana wa ta'ala) grant all children such fathers.

May Allah (subahaana wa ta'ala) grant your father Jannatul Firdaws. Ameen.

Sadaf.
04-17-2007, 08:31 PM
As knowledgeseeker and Shama has said, Indeed he is such a precious blessing to us from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, (precious is not even a good enough word for this blessing). Words can never describe what he is for us. He is our father, our teacher, our friend, our counselor, our mentor.

I can just share anything and everything with him (some I can't even share with my mother). If I am worried about something, talking to him would always lighten me. He taught us how to Love Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, how to have tawakkul on Him, how to love His deen and be proud of practicing it. He would always teach with little examples, by making us think about things... One day, when we were outside, the sky was clear and it was new moon, he taught us the dua' to say when you see the moon.....He taught soooo much just by his actions. He would treat his mother with so much respect and kindness. Now every day he makes du'a for his parents (his father passed away while he was only 11 days old). He treats all the relatives with kindness whether they are young or old, he taught us how keeping the ties is loved by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. His thankfulness to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and his patience just makes you say subhanAllah. Randomly he would start talking about how much Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has blessed him and sometimes he would mention ni'mahs that we never thought about. At times when we knew he was going through so much pain and we expected that he will be sad, and the next thing you hear is him enumerating ni’mah after ni’mah after ni’mah that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has blessed him with, and that expression had so much sweetness, so much love for Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala that it would just bring tears to your eyes.

In his company, you can never be sad. If he is around, you would just feel happy. When we were little we would exercise with him in the mornings, that was so much fun :). I still remember when we all memorized the dua of istikhara together :), one day after asr, he told us how rasool Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam taught this dua to the sahaba like he would teach them qur'an, and then he taught the dua to us.

He is sooooo affectionate, and caring, whenever he comes home, he would always kiss us. He has given all of us cute special names. He would rarely ask someone to do something for him. He would help us in our chores, if we are getting late, he would iron our clothes (to this day), would do the laundry for us, make breakfast for us, do dishes for us etc etc. While we were decorating the house for Shama's wedding, he was decorating with us, he was the tape guy:D (like we named him that :)). He is always involved in everything we do.

If one of us were sad for any reason he would make sure that he brings you out of that phase sooner then you imagine. He would always compliment us, and anything we do.

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala preserve him, and grant him Jannatul Firdaws.

Rabbi awzi'ni an ashkura ni'matak allati an'amta alayya (O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favour which You have bestowed upon me.)

spana3rabia
04-18-2007, 11:07 PM
i'm one of those people who always mention their mother as their inspiration and one of the reasons for their success, etc.

interestingly enough, things are changing. my dads getting alot more credit now too. laying off the work more than before...i guess it has to do with getting older and wanting to spend more time wichya kids...and actually bonding with them and not just putting the bread on the table. Ofcourse, we dont recognize that as kids...kids have others needs...perhaps more emotional needs.

and mothers are usually the ones that push you and the fathers are the playthings. i think its natural for people to put their mothers honestly. fathers play an important behind the scenes role...most of the times...i bet its different for a father raising his kids as a single parent.