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Yaser Birjas
04-30-2007, 12:09 PM
“Exclusively for married people. No singles to answer please.”

In recent discussions on this folder of Love Notes and Love Notes class…there came so many stereotypes of how men and women are viewing each other. In some of these discussions men and women were asked to express their opinions about loving and non-loving actions they experience or predict in their future relationships.

Now most of the answers came from –allow me to say- inexperience people i.e. non-married. Therefore, most of the answers were kind of idealistic and rosy on one hand or sarcastic and judgmental on another had. And I think the wisdom of the experienced ones i.e. married, was lost in the midst of these waves.

Married ones…here is your chance to view your opinion. Let’s make this a serious discussion insha’Allah.

The question to answer is:
For men: how do you define a woman, femininity and womanhood?
For women: how do you define a man, masculinity and manhood?

It might be beneficial if you mention your years of experience and your professional field.
PS: Homemaker (housewife), is a professional career as well.

Hint: make your answers in short words. Ex:
The man is: power, chivalry, generosity…or whatever
The woman is: Tenderness, beauty, mercy…or whatever

fevzy
04-30-2007, 01:20 PM
For men: how do you define a woman, femininity and womanhood?
It might be beneficial if you mention your years of experience and your professional field.
PS: Homemaker (housewife), is a professional career as well.I'm not sure how this can be answered in few words, but I'll start off with my general answer since this was the first set of answers that came up upon reading your question (before looking at your hint).

In general, I define a woman, femininity, and womanhood by the properties that determine one's sex, the levels of various virtues that influence one's gender, and the degree to which one is close to the ideal woman (in the sight of Allah), respectively.

Years of Experience: 10
Professional Field: Consumer Science; Applied statistical research.

hassanm
04-30-2007, 02:43 PM
Salaam.

Years of work experience : 6
Professional Field: Software Engineer
Years in marriage: 1.5

Woman/Womanhood:

1. Shy
2. Shy
3. Shy
4. Affectionate
5. Emotional
6. Talkative

UmmSakinah
04-30-2007, 02:48 PM
I was about to post my answer but I wasn't sure if I understood the question correctly, but I think now I kind of understand.

How I define a man, masculinity & manhood:

1. gentle
2. kind
3. respectful
4. considerate
5. responsible
6. well mannered

Years of experience: 10 years
Professional field: homemaker

Nazia Awan
04-30-2007, 07:32 PM
Assalaamu'alaikum,

I would define masculinity and manhood by:

1. Good leadership skills. Has power.
2. Good decision maker.
3. Takes shura.
4. Physically strong and muscular.
5. Works.
6. Responsible.

Years of experience: 1.5
Professional field: student/housewife.

UmmMalick
04-30-2007, 08:28 PM
As salaam alaikum,

I would define a man masculinity and manhood:

1. Takes charge of his family
2. Understanding
3. Responsible
4. Respectful
5. Religious
6. Loves his family

Years of experience: 13 years

Professional field: Homemaker and student.

Siraaj
04-30-2007, 08:45 PM
Software Engineer: 2.5 years experience
Husband: 3.5 years experience
Father: 2.25 years experience

Woman:
1. Obedient
2. Modest
3. Nurturing
4. Beautiful

Siraaj

Sabiqoon
05-01-2007, 12:10 AM
years of experience: 4 yrs Field: medical student
married: 3 yrs.

What defines a good man?

1.Leader
2.God-conscious
3.Responsible
4.Respectful
5.Dutiful to his parents
6.Courageous, brave, strong
7.simple but well groomed
8.Hardworking
9.Upon the sunnah

Abu Sunnah
05-01-2007, 10:45 AM
The question to answer is:
For men: how do you define a woman, femininity and womanhood?
Sheikh, do you want us to answer what we think should be the definition, or what our experiences have taught us is the definition? It seems like most of us are posting what we think should be the definition, Allahu a'lam.
=============
Married: 2.5 years
Field: Student

Definition of Woman:
Obedient - supports the husband after he makes the final decision
Intelligent - knows when NOT to state her opinion
Wise - example, doesn't rub it in when her husband falls short, and knows how to have her opinion implemented (without nagging!)
Educated - educated in the sense that she knows how the world works, and isn't naive or idealistic (basically, street-smart)

Definition of femininity:
Beautiful - she knows how to dress and beautify herself infront of her husband
Seductive - she knows how to push the right buttons to arouse her husband

Definition of womanhood:
Teacher - the ultimate teacher for her children
Nurturer - nurtures the children and the man when they need her

Ra77aal
05-01-2007, 08:54 PM
married- 2.5 yrs
field- teacher/ student

Man-

Leader, breadwinner, strong, in the service of his family, loving/caring, respectful, and understanding

Masculinity-

Strength (physical/character), charisma, charm, balance, wisdom

the answers are based on ideals

UmMaryam&Khadeejah
05-03-2007, 03:47 AM
Doctor-9 yrs experience
Wife-13 yrs
Mother- 7 yrs

My idea of Manhood,Masculinity

1.Maintainer
2.Guide
3.Kind
4.Just
5.Resourceful
6.Strong
7.perceptive
8.Versatile
9.Protector

knowledgeseeker
05-04-2007, 04:57 PM
Profession: Electrical Engineer & Student
Professional Exp:2 yrs
Married: 2.5yrs


Manhood/Masculinity:

Responsible: Knows his positions/his responsibility as the amir of the house (in deen and dunya)
Respectful: Respectful to others around him especially respectful to his mother and father.
Optimistic: Have an optimistic look towards life.
Appreciative: Appreciative of things in general and wife in particular.
Patient: Patient with all the things and with wife in particular
Hard worker: Not afraid of hard work/labor
In Control: Always in control of the situations and his emotions.
Decision Maker: Knows how to make decisions ( at the same time values wife's opinion)
Provider: Takes care of the family financially.
Caring: Takes care of wife emotionally.
Physically fit: Takes care of himself.
Witty: Knows how to lighten things in life.

Umm-Layth
05-05-2007, 01:26 PM
Experience as a wife: ~ 5 years
As a mother: ~ 4 years
Homemaker and grateful for it

For a man:

1. Responsible (focused)
2. Balanced in his firmness and kindness
3. A leader
4. Humble
5. Simple
6. Wise

For a woman (part of the list that I look to for bettering myself):

1. Responsible (focused)
2. Shy (& not loud)
3. Patient
4. Simple & easy to please
5. Kind
6. Wise

umm imarah
05-05-2007, 03:56 PM
How I define a man, masculinity & manhood:

1. Leader/takes charge
2. Kind
3. Generous
4. Responsible
5. Resourceful
6. Protector

Years in marriage: 4.5 years
Professional field: homemaker