View Full Version : Ideal Husband

Fouzia Usman/Quest
05-21-2007, 05:55 PM
The Ideal Husband

By Fethullah Gulen

Prophet Muhammad personifies the roles of perfect father and husband. He
was so kind and tolerant with his wives that they could not envisage
their lives without him, nor did they want to live away from him. He
married Sawdah, his second wife, while in Makkah. After a while, he
wanted to divorce her for certain reasons. She was extremely upset at
this news and implored him, "O Messenger of Allah, I wish no worldly
thing of you. I will sacrifice the time allocated to me if you don't
want to visit me. But please don't deprive me of being your wife. I want
to go to the hereafter as your wife. I care for nothing else" (Muslim).

The Messenger did not divorce her, nor did he stop visiting her. Once he
noticed that Hafsah was uncomfortable over their financial situation.
"If she wishes, I may set her free," he said, or something to that
effect. This suggestion so alarmed her that she requested mediators to
persuade him not to do so. He kept his faithful friend's daughter as his
trusted wife.

Separation Calamity

All of his wives viewed separation from the Messenger of Allah as a
calamity, so firmly had he established himself in their hearts. They
were completely at one with him. They shared in his blessed, mild, and
natural life. If he had left them, they would have died of despair. If
he had divorced one of them, she would have waited at his doorstep until
the Last Day.

After his death, there was much yearning and a great deal of grief. Abu
Bakr and `Umar found the Messenger's wives weeping whenever they visited
them. Their weeping seemed to continue for the rest of their lives.
Muhammad left an everlasting impression on everyone. At one point, he
had nine wives and dealt equally with all of them and without any
serious problems. He was a kind and gentle husband, and never behaved
harshly or rudely. In short, he was the perfect husband.

Each of his wives thought that she was his most beloved. A few days
before his death, he said, "A servant has been allowed to choose this
world or his Lord. He chose his Lord" (Al-Bukhari) . Abu Bakr,
intelligent and smart, began to cry, understanding that the Prophet was
talking about himself. His illness got worse daily, and his severe
headache caused him to writhe in pain. But even during this difficult
period, he continued to treat his wives with kindness and gentleness. He
asked for permission to stay in one room, as he had no strength to visit
them one by one. His wives agreed, and the Messenger spent his last days
in `A'ishah's room.

Most Beloved

Each wife, because of his generosity and kindness, thought she was his
most beloved. The idea that any man could show complete equality and
fairness in his relationships with nine women seems impossible. For this
reason, the Messenger of Allah asked God's pardon for any unintentional
leanings. He would pray, "I may have unintentionally shown more love to
one of them than the others, and this would be injustice. So, O Lord, I
take refuge in Your grace for those things beyond my power"
(At-Tirmidhi) .

What gentleness and sensitivity! I wonder if anyone else could show such
kindness to his children or spouses. When people manage to cover up
their lower inborn tendencies, it is as if they have done something very
clever and shown tremendous willpower. But they sometimes expose these
very defects unconsciously while bragging of their cleverness. The
Messenger, despite showing no fault, sought only God's forgiveness. His
gentleness penetrated his wives' souls so deeply that his departure led
to what they must have felt to be an unbridgeable separation. They did
not commit suicide, as Islam forbids it, but their lives now became full
of endless sorrow and ceaseless tears.

The Messenger was kind and gentle to all women, and advised all other
men to follow him in this regard. Sa`d ibn Abi Waqqas described his
kindness as follows:

`Umar said: One day I went to the Prophet and saw him smiling. "May God
make you smile forever, O Messenger of God," I said, and asked why he
was smiling. "I smile at those women. They were chatting in front of me
before you came. When they heard your voice, they all vanished," he
answered still smiling. On hearing this answer, I raised my voice and
told them, "O enemies of your own selves, you are scared of me, but you
are not scared of the Messenger of God, and you don't show respect to
him." "You are hard-hearted and strict," they replied. (Al-Bukhari )

The Messenger discussed matters with his wives as friends. `Umar also
was gentle to women. However, the most handsome man looks ugly when
compared to Joseph's beauty. Likewise, `Umar's gentleness and
sensitivity seem like violence and severity when compared to those of
the Prophet. The women had seen the Messenger's gentleness, sensitivity,
and kindness, and so regarded `Umar as strict and severe. Yet `Umar
shouldered the caliphate perfectly and became one of the greatest
examples after the Prophet. He was a just ruler and strove to
distinguish right from wrong. His qualities enabled him to be caliph.
Some of his qualities might seem rather severe; however, those very
qualities enabled him to shoulder very demanding responsibilities.


The Prophet did consult with his wives. The Messenger discussed matters
with his wives as friends. Certainly he did not need their advice, since
he was directed by revelation. However, he wanted to teach his nation
that Muslim men were to give women every consideration. This was quite a
radical idea in his time, as it is today in many parts of the world. He
began teaching his people through his own relationship with his wives.

For example, the conditions laid down in the Treaty of Hudaybiyah
disappointed and enraged many Muslims, for one condition stipulated that
they could not make the pilgrimage that year. They wanted to reject the
treaty, continue on to Makkah, and face the possible consequences. But
the Messenger ordered them to slaughter their sacrificial animals and
take off their pilgrim attire. Some Companions hesitated, hoping that he
would change his mind. He repeated his order, but they continued to
hesitate. They did not oppose him; rather, they still hoped he might
change his mind, for they had set out with the intention of pilgrimage
and did not want to stop half way.

Noticing this reluctance, the Prophet returned to his tent and asked Umm
Salamah, his wife accompanying him at that time, what she thought of the
situation. So she told him, fully aware that he did not need her advice.
In doing this, he taught Muslim men an important social lesson: There is
nothing wrong with exchanging ideas with women on important matters, or
on any matters at all.

She said, "O Messenger of God, don't repeat your order. They may resist
and thereby perish. Slaughter your sacrificial animal and change out of
your pilgrim attire. They will obey you, willingly or not, when they see
that your order is final" (Al-Bukhari) .

He immediately took a knife in his hand, went outside, and began to
slaughter his sheep. The Companions began to do the same, for now it was
clear that his order would not be changed.

The Messenger encouraged us through his enlightening example to behave
kindly with women. Counsel and consultation, like every good deed, were
practiced by God's Messenger first within his own family and then in the
wider community. Even today, we understand so little about his
relationships with his wives that it is as if we are wandering aimlessly
around a plot of land, unaware of the vast treasure buried below our

Two Halves

Women are secondary beings in the minds of many, including those
self-appointed defenders of women's rights as well as many
self-proclaimed Muslim men. In Islam, a woman is part of a whole, a part
that renders the other half useful. We believe that when the two halves
come together, the true unity of a human being appears. When this unity
does not exist, humanity does not exist - nor can prophethood,
sainthood, or even Islam.
Our Prophet encouraged us through his enlightening words to behave
kindly to women. He declared, "The most perfect believers are the best
in character, and the best of you are the kindest to their families"
(Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi) . It is clear that women have received the
true honor and respect they deserve, not just in theory but in actual
practice, only once in history ^� during the period of Prophet

This World or the Next

The wives of the Messenger were given the choice of remaining with him
or leaving:
[O Prophet, say to your wives: "If you desire the life of this world and
its glitter, then come! I will provide for your enjoyment and set you
free in a handsome manner. But if you seek God, His Messenger, and the
Home of the Hereafter, verily God has prepared for you, the well-doers
among you, a great reward."] (Al-Ahzab 33:29)

A few of his wives who wanted a more prosperous life asked, "Couldn't we
live a little more luxuriously, like other Muslims do? Couldn't we have
at least a bowl of soup every day, or some prettier garments?" At first
sight, such wishes might be considered fair and just. However, they were
members of the family that was to be an example for all Muslim families
until the Last Day.

The Messenger reacted by going into retreat. The news spread, and
everyone rushed to the mosque and began to cry. The smallest grief felt
by their beloved Messenger was enough to bring them all to tears, and
even the smallest incident in his life would disturb them. Abu Bakr and
`Umar, seeing the event in a different light as their daughters were
directly involved, rushed to the mosque. They wanted to see him, but he
would not leave his retreat. Eventually, on their third attempt, they
gained entry and began to rebuke their daughters. The Messenger saw what
was happening, but only said, "I cannot afford what they want" (Muslim).
The Qur'an declared [O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other
women] (Al-Ahzab 33:32).

Others might save themselves by simply fulfilling their obligations, but
those who were at the very center of Islam had to devote themselves
fully so that no weakness would appear at the center. There were
advantages in being the Prophet's wives, but these advantages brought
responsibilities and potential risks. The Messenger was preparing them
as exemplars for all present and future Muslim women. He was especially
worried that they might enjoy the reward for their good deeds in this
world and thereby be included in [You have exhausted your share of the
good things in your life of the world and sought comfort in
them](Al-Ahqaf 46:20). Life in the Prophet's house was uncomfortable.
For this reason, either explicitly or implicitly, his wives made some
modest demands. As their status was unique, they were not expected to
enjoy themselves in a worldly sense.

Some godly people laugh only a few times during their lives; others
never fill their stomachs. For example, Fudayl ibn `Iyad (R) never
laughed. He smiled only once, and those who saw him do so asked him why
he smiled, for they were greatly surprised. He told them, "Today I
learned that my son `Ali died. I was happy to hear that God had loved
him, and so I smiled" (Abu Nu`aym, Hilyat al-Awliya'). If there were
such people outside of the Prophet's household, his wives, who were even
more pious and respectful of God and regarded as Mothers of the
Believers, would certainly be of a higher degree.

It is not easy to merit being together with the Messenger in this world
and the hereafter. Thus, these special women were put to a great test.
The Messenger allowed them to choose his poor home or the world's
luxury. If they chose the world, he would give them whatever they wanted
and then dissolve his marriage with them. If they chose God and His
Messenger, they had to be content with their lives. This was a
peculiarity of his family. Since this family was unique, its members had
to be unique. The head of the family was chosen, as were the wives and

The Messenger first called `A'ishah and said, "I want to discuss
something with you. You'd better talk with your parents before making a
decision." Then he recited the verses mentioned above. Her decision was
exactly as expected from a truthful daughter of a truthful father: "O
Messenger of Allah, do I need to talk with my parents? By Allah, I
choose Allah and His Messenger" (Muslim).

`A'ishah herself tells us what happened next: "The Messenger received
the same answer from all his wives. No one expressed a different
opinion. They all said what I had said." They did so because they were
all at one with the Messenger. They could not differ. If the Messenger
had told them to fast for a lifetime without break, they would have done
so and endured it with pleasure. However, they endured hardship until
their deaths.
Some of his wives had enjoyed an extravagant lifestyle before their
marriage to him. One of these was Safiyyah, who had lost her father and
husband and had been taken prisoner during the Battle of Khaybar. She
must have been very angry with the Messenger, but when she saw him, her
feelings changed completely. She endured the same destiny as the other
wives. They endured it because love of the Messenger had penetrated
their hearts.

Mothers of the Believers

The Messenger was the perfect head of a family. Safiyyah was a Jew.
Once, she was dismayed when this fact was mentioned to her
sarcastically. She informed the Messenger, expressing her sadness. He
comforted her saying, "If they repeat it, tell them, 'My father is
Prophet Aaron, my uncle is Prophet Moses, and my husband is, as you see,
Prophet Muhammad, the Chosen One. What do you have more than me to be
proud of?'"
The Qur'an declares that his wives are the Mothers of the Believers
(Al-Ahzab 33:6). Although 14 centuries have passed, we still feel
delight in saying "my mother" when referring to Khadijah, `A'ishah, Umm
Salamah, Hafsah, and his other wives. We feel this because of him. Some
feel more love for these women than they do for their real mothers.
Certainly, this feeling must have been deeper, warmer, and stronger in
the Prophet's own time.

The Messenger was the perfect head of a family. Managing many women with
ease, being a lover of their hearts, an instructor of their minds, an
educator of their souls, he never neglected the affairs of the nation or
compromised his duties.

The Messenger excelled in every area of life. People should not compare
him to themselves or to the so-called great personalities of their age.
Researchers should look at him, the one to whom angels are grateful,
always remembering that he excelled in every way. If they want to look
for Muhammad they must search for him in his own dimensions. Our
imaginations cannot reach him, for we do not even know how to imagine
properly. God bestowed upon him, as His special favor, superiority in
every field.

The Manners of the Husband

The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is
composed of individuals that have permanent relations established
between them. Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the
different kinds of personal relations. Because of this, there must be
certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these
relations. This is such that it can be maintained in the best possible
manner, and so that it can generate and produce its proper fruits.
Family relations consist of the relationship between the spouses from
one perspective, the relationship between the parents and the children
from a second perspective, and the relationship between the children
themselves from a third perspective.

Etiquettes of the husband

It is not from the deficiencies, but rather from good manners, that the
husband shares in the responsibility of specified matters, such as the
mending of garments or what is similar to that.

It is appropriate for a man to not restrict himself from serving
himself. This is since the wife takes care of the household affairs. So
therefore, it is from good manners that the husband extend a helping
hand to his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when
she is sick, pregnant, has given birth or similar to that.

The exemplary husband is he who cooperates with his wife by bearing good
relations and showing kind manners (to her), according to the full
extent of the meaning contained in these (last) two expressions. Truly,
the husbands who are best at working alongside their wives are the best
of mankind in the view of Islaam. This good way of living between the
spouses must be deeply imbedded into the daily marital life, even at the
time of divorce.

Beware of characterizing the relationship between the spouses with
over-seriousness! For indeed characterizing the family life with a
militaristic nature amounts to one of the causes for failure and bad

From the kind and noble manners of the husband is that he complies and
assents to the requests of his wife, so long as they are not forbidden
in the Religion. And being luxurious in food, drink and clothing is at
the entrance of matters forbidden in the Religion.

The husband should specify a time in which he can play around and pass
free time with his wife.

The relationship between the spouses must contain one singular and
specific nature. And it cannot be this way unless the couple begins
demolishing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them.
For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from
drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of.

There is no human being that is perfect. So there is no doubt that the
husband will see things in his wife that does not comply with his
natural disposition and preferences. If these aspects are not in
opposition to the fundaments of the Religion or to the obedience of the
husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not try to change
her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.

And he must always remember that for each member of the couple, there
will be an aspect of ones personality that conflicts with the others
personality. And he should also remember that if there are some
characteristics that he doesn't find pleasing in his wife, then indeed
she has other characteristics, which will definitely be pleasing to him.

Do not let Ramadaan be a barrier that impedes you from showing affection
to your wife, such as by kissing her. But this is so long as you are
able to refrain yourself, since what is forbidden during the days of
Ramadaan is only sexual intercourse.

Do not chase after the errors of your wife and recount them to her, for
too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between
the two of you, and it will pose a threat to your marital life. So
overlook your wife's easy ability to make mistakes, and make her falling
into them seem like something small.

If you are able, do not hold back from providing your wife with good
clothing and food, and from being generous in spending money on her.
This is of course according to the extent of your ability.

Do not give little importance to implementing the punishment required
for any acts in opposition to the Religion, which your wife has
committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the
main reason that causes you to become angry, thus no other reason should
affect you (besides this one).

What has been stated previously does not mean that you should leave
matters alone until that result comes to happen. Thus, whenever you
realize that a matter is left alone, weigh it with seriousness and
determination, without being too harsh or rude about it.

The woman is the head of the household, the one responsible for it. So
do not attempt to meddle into affairs that do not fall into your area of
duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the

Beware of scolding your wife or blaming her for a mistake she committed,
in the presence of others, even if they are your own children. For
indeed that is an act that goes against correct behavior and it will
lead to raising anger in the hearts of people.

If you are forced to place punishment upon your wife, then let it be by
staying away from her at bedtime. And do not boycott her except that it
is done within the household. And avoid using foul language, insulting
her, beating her and describing her with repulsive names. For these
matters do not befit an exemplary husband.

Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of your wife is a
praiseworthy thing, which shows your love for her. However it is on the
condition that you do not go to great extremes in this jealousy. For
then at that point, it would turn into something worthy of no praise.

Entering the house: Do not alarm your family by entering upon them
suddenly. Rather, enter while they are aware of it, and greet them with
Salaam. And ask about them and how they are doing. And do not forget to
remember Allaah, the Mighty and Sublime, when you enter the house.

Beware of spreading any secrets connected with the intimate encounters
you have with your wife, for that is something restricted and forbidden.

Constantly maintain the cleaning of your mouth and the freshening of
your breath.

Guardianship of your wife doesn't mean that you can exploit what Allaah
has bestowed upon you from taking charge of her, such that you harm and
oppress her.

Showing respect and kindness to your wife's family is showing respect
and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death, on the
condition that it is not accompanied by an act forbidden in the
Religion, such as intermingling of the sexes or being in privacy (with

Too much joking will lead to (your family having) little fear (of
disobeying you) and a lack of respect for you. So do not joke too much
with your wife.

Be considerate that fulfilling the conditions which you promised to your
wife during the pre-marriage agreement is a matter possessing the
highest of importance and priority. So do not neglect that after getting

When you lecture your wife or reprimand her or simply speak to her,
choose the kindest and nicest of words and expressions for your speech.
And do not reprimand her in front of others or in front of your

It is not proper for you to ask your wife to look for work outside of
the house or to spend upon you from her wealth.

Do not overburden your wife with acts that she is not able to handle.
Consider, with extreme regard, the environment she was raised up in.
Rural service is not like urban service, and the service of a strong
woman and her preparation for it is not like the service of a weak

There is nothing in the obligation of a woman's service to her husband
that negates his assisting her in that regard, if he should find the
free time. Rather, this is from the good manners of living between the

Abu Sunnah
06-10-2007, 03:46 PM
He did not have all 9 at one point! ....
Just wanted to point that out...the wording seems to suggest so
Actually, he did. He was married to all of them at the same time. WAllahu a'lam.
Question 47072:
Can you pls tell me ,how many wives does our Propher(pbuh)had with names and exact prove like Hadith no. and book name with page no.There r lot of confusions .I ll be great full to u if u can help me out.

Praise be to Allaah.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married the following women:

1 – Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid (may Allaah be pleased with her)

She was the first of his wives. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when he was twenty-five years old, and he did not take another wife until after she died. All his children were born from her, except Ibraaheem.

Al-Bukhaari entitled a chapter in his Saheeh: “The marriage of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to Khadeejah (may Allaah be pleased with her), and her virtues,” in which he narrated a hadeeth from ‘Aa’ishah who said: “I never felt jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) as I did of Khadeejah, although she died before he married me, because of what I heard him say about her.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3815.

2 – Sawdah bint Zam’ah ibn Qays

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her in the tenth year of his Prophethood. Tabaqaat Ibn Sa’d, narrating from al-Waaqidi, 8/52-53; Ibn Katheer in al-Bidaayah wa’l-Nihaayah, 3/149

3 – ‘Aa’ishah bint Abi Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with her)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her in Shawwaal of the tenth year of the Prophethood. Ibn Sa’d, 8/58-59. She herself said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me when I was six years old, and consummated the marriage with me when I was nine.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3894; Muslim, 1422. Al-Bukhaari (5077) also narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (S) (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not marry any virgin apart form her.

4 – Hafsah bint ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with her)

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that Hafsah’s husband Khunays ibn Hudhaafah, who was one of the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and had been present at Badr, died in Madeenah. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: I met ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan and offered Hafsah to him in marriage. I said: If you wish, I will marry Hafsah bint ‘Umar to you. He said: I will think about it. Several nights passed, then he said: I think that I do not want to get married at this time. ‘Umar said: Then I met Abu Bakr and I said: If you wish, I will marry Hafsah bint ‘Umar to you. Abu Bakr kept quiet and did not give me any response. I was more upset about him than about ‘Uthmaan. Several nights passed, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) proposed to her and I married her to him. Then Abu Bakr met me and said: Perhaps you felt upset when you offered Hafsah in marriage to me and I did not reply? I said: Yes. He said: Nothing prevented me from responding to your offer but the fact that I knew that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had mentioned her, and I did not want to disclose the secret of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). If he had decided not to marry her, I would have accepted your offer.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4005.

5 – Zaynab bint Khuzaymah (may Allaah be pleased with her)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her in Ramadaan, thirty-one months after the Hijrah. Tabaqaat Ibn Sa’d, 8/115

6 – Umm Salamah bint Abi Umayyah (may Allaah be pleased with her)

Muslim (918) narrated that Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There is no person who is faced with a calamity and says Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon, Allaahumma ujurni fi museebati w'ukhluf li khayran minha (Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return; O Allaah, reward me in this calamity and compensate me with something better than it) but Allaah will reward him in his calamity and will compensate him with something better than that.” She said: When Abu Salamah died, I said what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had commanded me, and Allaah compensated me with someone better than him: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

According to another report: when Abu Salamah died, I said: Who is better than Abu Salamah, the companion of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? But Allaah decreed that I should say it. Then I got married to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

7 – Juwayriyah bint al-Haarith (may Allaah be pleased with her)

She fell prisoner to the Muslims during the battle of Banu’l-Mustalaq, and she came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to ask him to help her to manumit herself and buy her freedom. He offered to buy her freedom and marry her, and she accepted. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her and made her manumission her dowry. When the people came to know of that, they set free their own prisoners, so as to honour the in-laws of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). No woman brought a greater blessing to her people than she did. Narrated by Ibn Ishaaq with a hasan isnaad. Seerat Ibn Hishaam, 3/408-409.

8 – Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allaah be pleased with her)

Concerning her Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning):

“So when Zayd had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them)”

[al-Ahzaab 33:37]

She used to boast about this to the other wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), saying: “Your families arranged your marriages but Allaah arranged my marriage from above the seven heavens.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7420.

9 – Umm Habeebah bint Abi Sufyaan (may Allaah be pleased with her):

Abu Dawood (2107) narrated from ‘Urwah from Umm Habeebah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that she was married to ‘Ubayd-Allaah ibn Jahsh, who died in Abyssinia. Then the Negus married her to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and gave her a mahr of four thousand on his behalf, and sent her to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with Shurahbeel ibn Hasanah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

10- Maymoonah bint al-Haarith (may Allaah be pleased with her)

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Maymoonah when he was in ihraam. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1832; Muslim, 1410.

The words “when he was in ihraam” are a mistake. In fact the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her after he exited ihraam following ‘Umrat al-Qada’.

See Zaad al-Ma’aad, 1/113; Fath al-Baari, hadeeth no. 5114.

11 – Safiyyah bint Huyayy ibn Akhtab (may Allaah be pleased with her)

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) set her free and married her after the battle of Khaybar. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 371.

These are the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with whom he consummated marriage. Two of them died during the lifetime of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), namely Khadeejah and Zaynab bint Khuzaymah (may Allaah be pleased with them both). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) left behind nine wives when he died; there is no difference of scholarly opinion on this matter.

See Zaad al-Ma’aad, 1/105-114

It was said that Rayhaanah bint ‘Amr al-Nadariyyah (or al-Quraziyyah) was also one of his wives. She was taken prisoner during the battle of Bani Qurayzah, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) chose her for himself and married her, then he divorced her then took her back. Tabaqaat Ibn Sa’d , narrating from al-Waaqidi, 8/130

And it was said that she was a concubine. This was regarded as more likely by Ibn al-Qayyim in Zaad al-Ma’aad.

06-11-2007, 03:32 PM
He did not have all 9 at one point! ....
Just wanted to point that out...the wording seems to suggest soAssalamu Alaikom, I just wanted to point out that even though Muslim men are not allowed to marry more than 4 women, the Prophet (SAWS) already had more than 4 when the verse with the limitations was revealed. Then, many of the sahaba divorced their excess wives, but Allah revealed a few verses in the Quran for the messenger (SAWS) of Allah (SWT). I looked one of them up for you, but I think there is another as well:

Quran 33:50 :"O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has assigned to thee; and daughters of thy paternal uncles and aunts, and daughters of thy maternal uncles and aunts, who migrated (from Makka) with thee; and any believing woman who dedicates her soul to the Prophet if the Prophet wishes to wed her;- this only for thee, and not for the Believers (at large); We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom their right hands possess;- in order that there should be no difficulty for thee. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

So, Allah says that the Messenger is permitted to keep his excess wives (surely it wouldn't be fair to divorce them), but he is the only one permitted to do so. This was really the only privelege that was given to him over the other Believers because he was a Prophet (SAWS). I was just reading an article about this the other day, I think. Teena

06-11-2007, 03:38 PM
Assalamu Alaikom, I also have a question:

Abu Sunnah said "And it was said that she was a concubine."

What exactly is a concubine? Because anytime I hear the word concubine, it brings to mind various women whose sole purpose is to please men sexually, of course, not being married to any of them. So, I know that this is something that is definitely not allowed in Islam. According to Islam, even Ibrahim (AS) was required to take Hagar (RA) as a second wife rather than just do what he wants with her a a slavegirl, because even with a slave this is considered fornication, right? I've often wondered about this. Teena

Abu Sunnah
06-11-2007, 05:37 PM
Found this on Islam-qa
Question 10382:
Could you please clarify for me something that has been troubling me for a while. This concerns the right of a man to have sexual relations with slave girls. Is this so? If it is then is the man allowed to have relations with her as well his wife/wives. Also, is it true that a man can have sexual relations with any number of slave girls and with their own wife/wives also? I have read that Hazrat Ali had 17 slave girls and Hazrat Umar also had many. Surely if a man were allowed this freedom then this could lead to neglecting the wife's needs. Could you also tell clarify wether the wife has got any say in this matter.

Praise be to Allaah.

Islam allows a man to have intercourse with his slave woman, whether he has a wife or wives or he is not married.

A slave woman with whom a man has intercourse is known as a sariyyah (concubine) from the word sirr, which means marriage.

This is indicated by the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and this was done by the Prophets. Ibraaheem (peace be upon him) took Haajar as a concubine and she bore him Ismaa’eel (may peace be upon them all).

Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also did that, as did the Sahaabah, the righteous and the scholars. The scholars are unanimously agreed on that and it is not permissible for anyone to regard it as haraam or to forbid it. Whoever regards that as haraam is a sinner who is going against the consensus of the scholars.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3]

What is meant by “or (slaves) that your right hands possess” is slave women whom you own.
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O Prophet (Muhammad)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their Mahr (bridal‑money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses — whom Allaah has given to you, and the daughters of your ‘Amm (paternal uncles) and the daughters of your ‘Ammaat (paternal aunts) and the daughters of your Khaal (maternal uncles) and the daughters of your Khaalaat (maternal aunts) who migrated (from Makkah) with you, and a believing woman if she offers herself to the Prophet, and the Prophet wishes to marry her a privilege for you only, not for the (rest of) the believers. Indeed We know what We have enjoined upon them about their wives and those (slaves) whom their right hands possess, in order that there should be no difficulty on you. And Allaah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Ahzaab 33:50]

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts).

Except from their wives or the (women slaves) whom their right hands possess for (then) they are not blameworthy.

But whosoever seeks beyond that, then it is those who are trespassers”
[al-Ma’aarij 70:29-31]

Al-Tabari said:

Allaah says, “And those who guard their chastity” i.e., protect their private parts from doing everything that Allaah has forbidden, but they are not to blame if they do not guard their chastity from their wives or from the female slaves whom their rights hands possess.

Tafseer al-Tabari, 29/84

Ibn Katheer said:

Taking a concubine as well as a wife is permissible according to the law of Ibraaheem (peace be upon him). Ibraaheem did that with Haajar, when he took her as a concubine when he was married to Saarah.

Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/383

And Ibn Katheer also said:

The phrase “and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses — whom Allaah has given to you” [al-Ahzaab 33:50] means, it is permissible for you take concubines from among those whom you seized as war booty. He took possession of Safiyyah and Juwayriyah and he freed them and married them; he took possession of Rayhaanah bint Sham’oon al-Nadariyyah and Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah, the mother of his son Ibraaheem (peace be upon them both), and they were among his concubines, may Allaah be pleased with them both.

Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/500

The scholars are unanimously agreed that it is permissible.

Ibn Qudaamah said:

There is no dispute (among the scholars) that it is permissible to take concubines and to have intercourse with one's slave woman, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts).

Except from their wives or the (women slaves) whom their right hands possess for (then) they are not blameworthy.”

[al-Ma’aarij 70:29-30]

Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah was the umm walad (a slave woman who bore her master a child) of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and she was the mother of Ibraaheem, the son of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), of whom he said, “Her son set her free.” Haajar, the mother of Isma’eel (peace be upon him), was the concubine of Ibraaheem the close friend (khaleel) of the Most Merciful (peace be upon him). ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) had a number of slave women who bore him children, to each of whom he left four hundred in his will. ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) had slave women who bore him children, as did many of the Sahaabah. ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn, al-Qaasim ibn Muhammad and Saalim ibn ‘Abd-Allaah were all born from slave mothers

Al-Mughni, 10/441

Al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts).

Except from their wives or the (women slaves) whom their right hands possess for (then) they are not blameworthy.”

[al-Ma’aarij 70:29-30]

The Book of Allaah indicates that the sexual relationships that are permitted are only of two types, either marriage or those (women slaves) whom one’s right hand possesses.

Al-Umm, 5/43.

The wife has no right to object to her husband owning female slaves or to his having intercourse with them.

And Allaah knows best.

06-11-2007, 10:14 PM
Assalamu Alaikom, I wonder why I have never heard this before. I have always been told that Ibrahim (SAWS) took Hagar as his second wife because otherwise it would have been fornication. I was told that by a very knowledgeable person, the father of a very well-known scholar. I'm going to have to do more research on this I guess. I like to know what to say to non-Muslims when they start questioning these types of things insha'Allah. Jazak Allah Khair. Teena

robin hudhud
06-12-2007, 05:14 PM
assalaam a'alaikum,

I'd just like to point out some things about the prophet s.a.w. marrying more than 4 wives. This was a privelage given to him, but there was a lot of wisdom this legislation. As a matter of fact, the scholars have counted on the order of 18 or so points of benefit behind him marrying 9 wives. I've written a couple of the major points here:

1.) hadith narrations - there are many aspects of the sunna within the home/married life that none of the sahaba saw personally. Only the prophet's wives were witness to them. If the prophet s.a.w. was married to only 3 or 4 wives, authenticating certain hadith would have been much more difficult. So having more than 4 will strengthen the chain of narrations. One or two wives would not be able to remember/quote/narrate all there is to know about the prophet's sunna.

2.) ideal husband - not only did the prophet s.a.w. show us how an ideal husband should be, but he proved that this methodology is universal to all types of women. If the prophet s.a.w. married only one or two women, someone could easily have said "his example only worked because her personality was conducive to it." However, he married 9 different women who came from very different backgrounds. And on top of that, all 9 of them were pleased with him as a husband.... and that says a lot, considering how badly women were treated before Islam.

sheikh Waleed Basyouni elaborated on this point on a halaqa he gave: "Was the prophet s.a.w. romantic?"
Part 1: http://audioislam.com:8000/audio/fiqh/marriage/was_prophet_muhammed_(saws)_romantic_part_01.mp3.m 3u
Part 2: http://audioislam.com:8000/audio/fiqh/marriage/was_prophet_muhammed_(saws)_romantic_part_02.mp3.m 3u