View Full Version : The Family Balance???
05-22-2007, 08:15 PM
As Salaam Alaykum wa Rehmatullah,
O wise ones of Tayybah give me some advice
My mother had been out of the country for a couple of months and inshaAllah she is coming back this weekend....
I also have been away from home for most of the weekdays because of work...
Would it be wise to take Chain of Command, which is just 1 week after my mother comes back... and keeping in mind that I am only home on the weekends... but will not be home for 2 consecutive weekends, because of the Hadith class. My parents want my company every weekend, and I would think especially if my mother's been away for a while.
I am sure all brothers been in that situation. What shall I do?
05-22-2007, 08:38 PM
Insha'Allah this suggestion helps a little... most of us know the hadith regarding the virtues of honoring our mothers:
Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah reported, Jahimah came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: "O Messenger of Allah! I intend that I should enlist in the fighting force and I have come to consult thee. He said "Hast thou a mother?" He said, "Yes." He said: "Then stick to her, for paradise is beneath her two feet” (Nisai).
“Paradise lies under the feet of the mother” (Nasai).
But insha'Allah there is a way to get the best of both worlds. Do you know any brothers who will be taking "Chain of Command"? If so, insha'Allah you can get one of them to conduct a halaqa about the information he gained from the seminar so you won't miss out. Plus, insha'Allah you'll gain hasanat for every minute you spend with your mother when she returns.
HiBz EsSenSe ©
05-22-2007, 08:46 PM
WaAlaikum AlSalam WaRahamtullahi WaBarakatu
SubhanAllah if you cant bring your mother along, then My Suggestion to you is ... Well, Let these speak for themselves InshaAllah ...
Narrated by Abu Huraira; A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).
[Book 32, Number 6181: Sahih Muslim]
Narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother. [Sahih Bukhari & Muslim]
A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: "(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." [Al-Tirmidhi]
"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "[17:23-24]
... Regardless of your decision, remember to renew your intentions InshaAllah !
Wa 'Alaykumassalam wa Rahmatullah
... my advice would be to be honest with your mom and discuss it with her openly. She may insist you take the seminar instead and that you can put time aside to be with her, or, she may prefer you spend time with her on those weekends. Wallahu a'lam. But, it sounds like you've made the intention to attend the seminar, and so I ask Allah to reward you according to your intention.
05-23-2007, 09:58 AM
Akhi, im not going to Hadith Sciences, for the same reason.
05-24-2007, 02:03 AM
hmm...i'd say...ask her about how she feels
and yup! no doubtedly do istikhaarah...so the right decision comes your way
moms are understanding, but yeah, their feelings are super important too
on second thought i'd probably just do istikhaarah and just 'mention' the class to her to see what she says so that she won't feel hurt in any way
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