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View Full Version : Matrimonials at Al Maghrib?


AKA
05-28-2007, 08:25 AM
hey, hold on, can we have some kinda matrimonial service at AlMaghrib?
OK now SHOOT.
Just my thoughts.

Raniah
05-28-2007, 08:34 AM
The other day Sh. Muhammad AlShareef participated in a conference call with Qabeelat hosna and durbah....and one of the questioners asked him this question....

he replied something to the effect that almaghrib would not go down this route since it was not in tact with the original focus and goal of Almaghrib--mainly to educate....Almaghrib is known to everyone as an educational islamic institution started to educate the Muslims in N. America about their deen.

Once you add another service to this..then people lose what the original intent of the institute was.

(im just paraphrasing what he said--someone correct me if i'm wrong)

AKA
05-28-2007, 01:10 PM
The other day Sh. Muhammad AlShareef participated in a conference call with Qabeelat hosna and durbah....and one of the questioners asked him this question....

he replied something to the effect that almaghrib would not go down this route since it was not in tact with the original focus and goal of Almaghrib--mainly to educate....Almaghrib is known to everyone as an educational islamic institution started to educate the Muslims in N. America about their deen.

Once you add another service to this..then people lose what the original intent of the institute was.

(im just paraphrasing what he said--someone correct me if i'm wrong)true, true.. I'm glad I'm not the only loser who had this in mind:D

mahin
05-28-2007, 05:34 PM
there is an informal matrimonial service at AlMaghrib...how many times have you gone to a seminar and a brother/sister comes up to you and is like "are you married??? My wife/husband has a lot of friends trying to get married."

AKA
05-29-2007, 01:34 AM
there is an informal matrimonial service at AlMaghrib...how many times have you gone to a seminar and a brother/sister comes up to you and is like "are you married??? My wife/husband has a lot of friends trying to get married."I hate it when people walk up to me and try and link me to weird men. We can have some sort of online matrimonials. But I guess it'll shift the focus from the 'deen'.

Ghufran
06-04-2007, 07:25 PM
I think it would be cool if the different Qabaail did it and then cooperated with each other for inter qabeelah marriages...kinda like an underground project...perhaps the amir and or amirah could help out...

yasser_z
06-04-2007, 08:52 PM
1. The first rule of Underground Matrimonial Service is you do not talk about Underground Matrimonial Service!

All a qabeelah needs is one power couple who are both well connected: the brother is active, and so is the sister (his wife). I witnessed that at other qabaail. we dont got one yet but when the time is right insha'Allah :)

brother_bruce
06-04-2007, 08:55 PM
I think it would be cool if the different Qabaail did it and then cooperated with each other for inter qabeelah marriages...kinda like an underground project...perhaps the amir and or amirah could help out...1. The first rule of Underground Matrimonial Service is you do not talk about Underground Matrimonial Service!brothers i fear you have The Fever. please check in to the doctor (or imaam) at the earliest.

jazakAllah. ;)

All a qabeelah needs is one power couple who are both well connected: the brother is active, and so is the sister (his wife). I witnessed that at other qabaail. we dont got one yet but when the time is right insha'Allah :)Majd used to have a power couple. Alas, they left for a frontier village otherwise known as Saskatoon.

Until then, there's a power vacuum... :)

Ghufran
06-04-2007, 10:49 PM
brothers i fear you have The Fever. please check in to the doctor (or imaam) at the earliest.

jazakAllah. ;)


Those with the fever recognise others with the fever ;) :P

Mubarak
06-04-2007, 11:43 PM
...brothers i fear you have The Fever.
I think its more like "The Flu"http://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon7.gif....and so what if they *points the finger out* are suffering from this awful, awful illnesshttp://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon12.gif.

On the real, as they say..."it takes one to know one" so be careful who you accuse of having "The Fever" cause it just may be____________

*Beautiful Patience*
06-07-2007, 10:32 PM
Those with the fever recognise others with the fever ;) :PI gotta second that! http://forums.almaghrib.org/images/icons/icon10.gif

Kashif ibn Iftikhar
06-08-2007, 12:49 AM
Wow i guess the love notes trip to windsor/detroit made everyone loose their marbles :)

Siraaj
06-08-2007, 10:34 AM
Actually, there's an excellent business idea for someone who wants to take it up - AlMaghrib matrimonials. I bet a person could make a lot of money with that idea, if they wanted to take it on. Hmmm....

Siraaj

Springofheaven05
06-08-2007, 11:14 PM
All a qabeelah needs is one power couple who are both well connected: the brother is active, and so is the sister (his wife). I witnessed that at other qabaail. we dont got one yet but when the time is right insha'Allah :) I second that.....and alhamdulliah i know ittihad has several of those "power couples" :)


I think it would be cool if the different Qabaail did it and then cooperated with each other for inter qabeelah marriages...kinda like an underground project...perhaps the amir and or amirah could help out...Matrimonials can easily get out of hand if not constantly overlooked and run by qualified people, and although sounds like a cool and needed idea, it can really just add on more burden to the amir and ameerah and that itself can shift them away from thier goals as well...let alone Almaghrib Institute...

.... Allah (swt) Knows best....

burgundy
06-11-2007, 07:35 AM
I'm married alhamdulillah but i've seen for a few years now through friends how horribly difficult it is and can be to get married.

So for those people who say this can distract from studying, I mean for some people who really want to get married and have no way to make that connection, that is distracting enough.

I mean imagine, yes most people get hooked up through friends or family, but sometimes actualy alot of times, its just not happening for a lot of people. So they look to matrimonials. But it would be way more efficient if someone were set up by a trustworthy group of people whose reputation we were all well acquainted with and stuff. I'm not saying necessarily almaghrib. but i think married couples need to come together to start a project like this.

AKA
06-11-2007, 08:39 AM
I'm married alhamdulillah but i've seen for a few years now through friends how horribly difficult it is and can be to get married.

So for those people who say this can distract from studying, I mean for some people who really want to get married and have no way to make that connection, that is distracting enough.

I mean imagine, yes most people get hooked up through friends or family, but sometimes actualy alot of times, its just not happening for a lot of people. So they look to matrimonials. But it would be way more efficient if someone were set up by a trustworthy group of people whose reputation we were all well acquainted with and stuff. I'm not saying necessarily almaghrib. but i think married couples need to come together to start a project like this.I've only met WEIRDOS through friends. Weirdos who make me want to take a nap just thinking about them:(

Ghufran
06-18-2007, 07:06 AM
but i think married couples need to come together to start a project like this.
I noticed a trend though...before people get married theyr'e all "I wish everyone could get married" but when they get married and can do something about it....they are so engaged in married life that they don't really care about friends...

Now im starting to wonder if thats gonna happen to me...hmmm....

Amirah
06-18-2007, 01:18 PM
I noticed a trend though...before people get married theyr'e all "I wish everyone could get married" but when they get married and can do something about it....they are so engaged in married life that they don't really care about friends...


It depends on the people I guess. I personally don't see that in my community. I think that a lot of sisters are hung up on getting married, but the common answer is "There aren't any good brothers" which I highly doubt. I have seen it happen where couples just dissapear after getting married but Allahu 3allam.

I don't think that one approach is necessarily better than the other (i.e.throught friend/family vs matrimonial service). I think what those who want to get married need to start making dua for others to get married. Why?? Because when one make a du'a for his brother or sister, the angles say: "Ameen, and same to you".

There are some good matrimonial services out there which people just need to search for. I don't EVER see AlMaghrib starting something rather it will take away from it;s initial focus (I think someone replied somewhere in these threads). Anyhow, my point is... we need to make dua and yes, I believe that we should help others to get married.

ManOfFewWords
06-19-2007, 06:50 AM
Does Durbah have any power couples? Do tell.

Teena
06-19-2007, 08:06 AM
There are some good matrimonial services out there which people just need to search for. I don't EVER see AlMaghrib starting something rather it will take away from it;s initial focus (I think someone replied somewhere in these threads). Anyhow, my point is... we need to make dua and yes, I believe that we should help others to get married.Assalamu Alaikom, well, I'm married alhamdulilah. But, I just wanted to say that I have browsed some of these "Muslim" matrimonial services before, and they are really unIslamic. Every girl on there has to be married to a doctor! And the girls post pictures of themselves without hijab and gobs of make-up. Not a single person mentions that their mate needs to be religious. It's very sad.

Also, I wanted to point out that the reason so many people have such a hard time getting married is because they are just too picky. I know at least 10 brothers and sisters looking to get married, but none of them are compatible with each other because one has to be tall, and another has to be African American, and another has to be rich, one needs to be well-educated, etc., etc., etc. I actually only know one brother who wants to get married who said, "I don't care what nationality she is, or whether she's highly educated; I just want her to be religious so she can teach our children." Insha'Allah Allah will guide him to a wonderful righteous wife. Teena

Sincerity123
06-19-2007, 09:06 AM
Also, I wanted to point out that the reason so many people have such a hard time getting married is because they are just too picky. I know at least 10 brothers and sisters looking to get married, but none of them are compatible with each other because one has to be tall, and another has to be African American, and another has to be rich, one needs to be well-educated, etc., etc., etc.Subhanallah, I've noticed that too! however, this may be true in some or maybe a lot of cases... but its not true for ALL the unmarried people. For some, its just a test from Allah and honestly... for some... its just that they dont know who to approach and how to islamically approach someone or even find someone etc. Also, keep in mind ... its okay to desire certain or specific qualities in the spouse... just as long as people give priority to the deen of the person and are flexible on other things.

May Allah make it easy for our brothers and sisters to find a good match (Ameen) Dont forget making LOTS of dua. Only Allah can help us in all our needs. Honestly I WOULD LOVE TO SEE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MY brothers and sisters get married to someone good and fullfill their iman (Ameen)

May Allah allow us married people to do what we can for our brothers and sisters who are looking (Ameen).


PS: For those umarried ppl who feel their married friends forgot abt them... maybe they ARE looking for their friends as well...and are just waiting till they FIND someone good who is also interested in you. Allahu Alem. I know other married couples who DO do that. May Allah reward them (Ameen)

AKA
06-19-2007, 10:13 AM
Subhanallah, I've noticed that too! however, this may be true in some or maybe a lot of cases... but its not true for ALL the unmarried people. For some, its just a test from Allah and honestly... for some... its just that they dont know who to approach and how to islamically approach someone or even find someone etc. Also, keep in mind ... its okay to desire certain or specific qualities in the spouse... just as long as people give priority to the deen of the person and are flexible on other things.

May Allah make it easy for our brothers and sisters to find a good match (Ameen) Dont forget making LOTS of dua. Only Allah can help us in all our needs. Honestly I WOULD LOVE TO SEE ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MY brothers and sisters get married to someone good and fullfill their iman (Ameen)

May Allah allow us married people to do what we can for our brothers and sisters who are looking (Ameen).


PS: For those umarried ppl who feel their married friends forgot abt them... maybe they ARE looking for their friends as well...and are just waiting till they FIND someone good who is also interested in you. Allahu Alem. I know other married couples who DO do that. May Allah reward them (Ameen)Ameen. Right, it's a test from Allah.

MSalah
06-19-2007, 10:23 AM
As salaamu aleykum wa rahmatulaahi wa barakaatuh

You know in the History of Khulafaa class, we learnt briefly about a Sahaabi named Julaybib (radiyal Allahu anhu).

He was an Ansaree, and really the only thing completely known about him or his biography was that he was an Arab. His name was not complete, because Julaybib in arabic roughly means "Small grown"; his lineage was not known, no one knew his father or mother; nor the tribe he belonged to; and last but not least he had several deformaties or disabilities of the physical body.

But he was among those beloved to the Prophet (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim). It is reported that the Prophet (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim) went to the spot where Julaybib (radiyal Allahu anhu) died after a battle with some Mushrikeen and the Prophet said: "He killed seven and then was killed? This man is of me and I am of him." He repeated this two or three times.

Before his death something interesting happened in relation to matrimonials. The Prophet (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim) went to one of the Ansaari men and said to him: "I want to have your daughter married." "How wonderful and blessed, O Messenger of Allah, and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," replied the Ansari man. I do not want her for myself, added the Prophet (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim). "Then for whom, O Messenger of Allah?" asked the man. For Julaybib, said the Prophet (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim).

The Ansari replied: "I will consult with her mother." And off he went to his wife. "The Messenger of Allah (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim), wants to have your daughter married", he told his wife. "What a wonderful idea and what a delight to the eye (this would be)," she said. "He does not want to marry her himself, but he wants to marry her to Julaybib (radiyal Allahu anhu)," he added. "To Julaybib? No, never to Julaybib! No, by Allah, we shall not marry (her) to him", she protested.

As the Ansaari man was about to return to the Prophet (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim) to inform him of what his wife had said, the daughter, who had heard her mother's protests, asked: "Who has asked to marry me?"

Her mother told her of the Prophet's request to marry her to Julaybib (radiyal Allahu anhu). When she heard that the request had come from the Prophet (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim), and that her mother was absolutely opposed to the idea, she was greatly disturbed by it, she said: "Do you refuse the request of the Messenger of Allah (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim)? Send me to him, for he shall certainly not bring ruin to me." She added, "I am satisfied, and submit myself to whatever Allah's Messenger (salal Allahu aleyhi wa salim) deems good for me." And the daugther of the Ansaari man was married off to Julaybib (radiyal Allahu anhu).

----------------------
Indeed, that is an example of the best matrimonial service ever. Period!

Allahumaa sali 'Alaa Muhammad wa 'alaa Aali Muhammad kamaa saleyta 'Alaa Ibraaheem wa 'alaa aali Ibraaheem, inaka Hamiidun Majiid.

Wa salaamu aleykum
M

~Safia~
06-19-2007, 11:33 AM
As salaamu aleykum wa rahmatulaahi wa barakaatuh

You know in the History of Khulafaa class, we learnt briefly about a Sahaabi named Julaybib (radiyal Allahu anhu).

He was an Ansaree, and really the only thing completely known about him or his biography was that he was an Arab.
I was reading an article by Zaid Shakir, and he said that Julaybib was a black man. It was somewhere in his book "Scattered Pictures", and he cited the source.

Ghufran
06-19-2007, 11:04 PM
Indeed, that is an example of the best matrimonial service ever. Period!
Too bad we don't have RasoolAllah salAllahu Alayhi waSallam around to get me married!!!!! :|

Ghufran
06-19-2007, 11:08 PM
There are some good matrimonial services out there which people just need to search for.
I don't know about that whole matrimonial service business. I believe that marriage is destined by Allah and it will surely happen in it's fixed time. But using someone you don't know (matrimonial service) is not one of the means i trust.

mimran
06-20-2007, 08:58 AM
For people whose families are not practising muslims, finding a righteous spouse is a serious problem. Their parents would find them someone based on financial status, caste, shape, occupation, etc etc etc.... with little or no consideration for true Islamic values....

I don't know what the real solution to this issue is... but Matrimonial services..... in my experience doesn't work well.

Amirah
06-20-2007, 02:02 PM
I don't know what the real solution to this issue is... but Matrimonial services..... in my experience doesn't work well.It goes by an individual basis. It may work for some people and it may not work for others. I know a number of people who have gone through a service and they are happy and would never think they met through a matrimonial service (then again, how would one know unless they said so).

About the whole trust thing, I understand what you are saying, but it is not wrong to go through a proper Islamic network. For the sake of argument, if there were no matrimonial services, we amongst ourselves are doing match making. A sister wants to get married and we happen to know brother A, B, C; it all comes down to the same thing. You still have to do the proper "backgroud check" even if you went through a trustworthy person. The point of a matrimonial service to find someone suitable. Many people meet through MSA and what not to the point where MSA is joked around as the Matrimonial Student Association.

I would definitely opt to get more involved in the communities as a means of meeting someone rather than going through a service, but it's not wrong if it's in its proper Islamic boudaries.

Sabiqoon
06-22-2007, 10:37 PM
Informal matrimonial "service" might work. I will let you guys know if it is successful or not. I think on an individual basis. If people just try to hook up their friends to get married then as a community we can accomplish much.

However, it is a great responsibility and married couples might just shy away from it only becasue they see married life and if it goes, walhamdulillaah, then they can help out. But if it goes bad then they might feel scared to do this to someone else.

Regardless, who you are married is destined by Allaah and I think there should be a healthy balance between anxiety and indifference.

And du'aa is great and should be done but practical stuff is improtant and encouraged.


For people that want to get married, best option is to talk to as many people as you can. Let them know you are looking to get married. Remind them whenver you see them. Ar any gathering, at school, in classes, at events, offcourse talking to people of your own gender.

If you are a guy, talk to people in the masjid

My husband made this funny suggestion. He said that if he were to get married agian or suggest it for anyone. He would go to the masjid, announce there to the uncles, "Assalaam Alaykum, I am looking to get married is there anyone who would like to marry their daughter to me, here are my credentials, etc, etc."


so be creative, dont give up and definitely talk to people. this is the way it can be done.

And then as an option, people do post matrimonial online ads but you have to find reliable and good matrimonial services for that.

Kisswah the Camel
07-21-2007, 10:22 PM
Salams!!!
I noticed that there were alot of questions about marriage today. So a team of Al-Maghrib students were inspired to create this site. We know that if there is a service that the community needs, it's fard for someone in the community to do it. So we are taking this resposiblity. So we made a site to discuss the effectiveness of various sucesses of non-muslim and muslim matchmaking sites. So if you want to talk about marriage you can at [MOD.EDIT. NO OUTSIDE LINKS ALLOWED. SEE FORUM POLICIES.] If we collaborate on all the matchmaking sites there will be a bigger community and will benifit us all. Jazakallah Khair.

Kisswah the Camel
07-22-2007, 09:49 PM
Salams

I noticed that the link got censored from the forums. If you want to get the link from me, please email me using the contact info in the board.

Jazkullah Khair.