Tariq Maruf
08-08-2007, 01:38 PM
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu..
I have this very important question to ask you Sheikh. Please read through the whole scenario and reply. The names are just fictitious. This is a real life situation and I need some guidance.
A girl (Fatima) gets a proposal from a guy (Ahmed). Fatima does not know Ahmed and is reluctant to accept the proposal. Fatima's parents emotionally blackmail Fatima to accept the proposal and hence she complies. Fatima and Ahmed are not engaged. Just the parents have agreed to the arrangement. The agreement was done in October 20X1. Wedding is set for December 20X2.
On the same day that Fatima had to agree to the proposal from Ahmed, another guy (Ali) proposes. Fatima knows Ali since she was young. They grew up together but were not in touch for almost 15 years. Fatima likes Ali, but it is too late now as she had to accept the proposal from Ahmed. So she decides to forget about Ali and not to mention it to anyone.
Two months pass by and Ahmed is being a bit difficult with Fatima. He is rude in talking and has a lot of bad habits which she does not approve of. In January 20X2, Fatima asks Ali if his offer still stands and decides to talk to her father (Hassan) about it. Fatima is worried that her father will not take it in the right spirit and might not agree to it. Hassan is known to be very conscious of his image and prestige in front of his community.
Finally, Fatima does not gather up the courage and gives up on talking to her father. Six months pass and Ali and Fatima are in touch on and off. Its just a casual relationship over the internet. Purely innocent relationship as two friends and Ali was a good counsellor to Fatima. He encourages her to practice Islam in the rightful way. This had a good impact on the faith in Fatima.
The relationship between Fatima and Ahmed is getting worse by the day. So, by mid July 20X2, she has had enough with his behaviour and asks Ali once again if his offer still stands as she wanted a confirmation before she took such a big step. Ali assures her of his support and also confirms this with his parents. Before Fatima would take the step, Ali advises her to pray Istikhara. Fatima does Istikhara and decides to talk to her father.
Fatima informs her father about Ahmed's bad behaviour. She does not mention anything about Ali as she is worried that her father would think that Ali was behind this.
Hassan takes it in a positive way and shows support to Fatima. He is ready to call off the wedding but just needs a confirmation of the character. In the mean time, Fatima mentions about Ali, as Hassan is worried for his daughter's future. She mentions it out of good faith that her father would be more confident in what was next for Fatima.
The mention of Ali is not taken well by Hassan. He knows Ali since he was born and he knows the family. The relations between them have always been excellent. Hassan thinks that Fatima is breaking up with Ahmed because she has Ali and not because something is wrong with Ahmed.
Hassan asks Fatima to make a decision - if she wanted to break-up with Ahmed, she will not be able to marry Ali. Fatima thinks about it, and agrees to it expecting her father to cool down and maybe consider Ali in the near future.
Hassan is not happy with Fatima's decision and says that he will not agree to it. More evidence arises of Ahmed's bad nature and financial instability. Hassan is not ready to break-up with Ahmed as there would be a havoc in his society and people would start pointing fingers in all directions and the spread to rumours.
Fatima makes it clear to her father that she is not happy with his decision and wants to call off her wedding with Ahmed. Her father gets adamant and says that she did not have a choice as it was too late to call it off.
Fatima protests and ends up crying day and night. No mercy is shown to Fatima from any of her family members. It is all about family prestige and the daughter's happiness is ignored.
Ahmed is also aware of what is happening and starts calling Fatima everyday. Hassan starts believing that Ahmed has suddenly changed for the better. Fatima asks Ahmed to call off the wedding as she was unable to. Ahmed is also not ready to call it off.
Fatima is in a difficult situation and needs help. What options are available to her? It is already mid August 20X2 and she is clearly being forced into marrying someone she does not want to. Ali and his family are helpless in trying to do anything.
- Is Fatima wrong in breaking up with Ahmed?
- Are the parents right in forcing Fatima to marry Ahmed?
- What are the options available to Fatima to avoid marrying Ahmed?
- Can Fatima go against her family and get married to Ali?
- Are the parents liable in front of Allah for forcing their daughter to marry someone because of family name and fame?
This is quite important and please reply at the earliest as Fatima might lose out and may be forced into marriage.
Jazak Allahu Khairan!
Tariq
I have this very important question to ask you Sheikh. Please read through the whole scenario and reply. The names are just fictitious. This is a real life situation and I need some guidance.
A girl (Fatima) gets a proposal from a guy (Ahmed). Fatima does not know Ahmed and is reluctant to accept the proposal. Fatima's parents emotionally blackmail Fatima to accept the proposal and hence she complies. Fatima and Ahmed are not engaged. Just the parents have agreed to the arrangement. The agreement was done in October 20X1. Wedding is set for December 20X2.
On the same day that Fatima had to agree to the proposal from Ahmed, another guy (Ali) proposes. Fatima knows Ali since she was young. They grew up together but were not in touch for almost 15 years. Fatima likes Ali, but it is too late now as she had to accept the proposal from Ahmed. So she decides to forget about Ali and not to mention it to anyone.
Two months pass by and Ahmed is being a bit difficult with Fatima. He is rude in talking and has a lot of bad habits which she does not approve of. In January 20X2, Fatima asks Ali if his offer still stands and decides to talk to her father (Hassan) about it. Fatima is worried that her father will not take it in the right spirit and might not agree to it. Hassan is known to be very conscious of his image and prestige in front of his community.
Finally, Fatima does not gather up the courage and gives up on talking to her father. Six months pass and Ali and Fatima are in touch on and off. Its just a casual relationship over the internet. Purely innocent relationship as two friends and Ali was a good counsellor to Fatima. He encourages her to practice Islam in the rightful way. This had a good impact on the faith in Fatima.
The relationship between Fatima and Ahmed is getting worse by the day. So, by mid July 20X2, she has had enough with his behaviour and asks Ali once again if his offer still stands as she wanted a confirmation before she took such a big step. Ali assures her of his support and also confirms this with his parents. Before Fatima would take the step, Ali advises her to pray Istikhara. Fatima does Istikhara and decides to talk to her father.
Fatima informs her father about Ahmed's bad behaviour. She does not mention anything about Ali as she is worried that her father would think that Ali was behind this.
Hassan takes it in a positive way and shows support to Fatima. He is ready to call off the wedding but just needs a confirmation of the character. In the mean time, Fatima mentions about Ali, as Hassan is worried for his daughter's future. She mentions it out of good faith that her father would be more confident in what was next for Fatima.
The mention of Ali is not taken well by Hassan. He knows Ali since he was born and he knows the family. The relations between them have always been excellent. Hassan thinks that Fatima is breaking up with Ahmed because she has Ali and not because something is wrong with Ahmed.
Hassan asks Fatima to make a decision - if she wanted to break-up with Ahmed, she will not be able to marry Ali. Fatima thinks about it, and agrees to it expecting her father to cool down and maybe consider Ali in the near future.
Hassan is not happy with Fatima's decision and says that he will not agree to it. More evidence arises of Ahmed's bad nature and financial instability. Hassan is not ready to break-up with Ahmed as there would be a havoc in his society and people would start pointing fingers in all directions and the spread to rumours.
Fatima makes it clear to her father that she is not happy with his decision and wants to call off her wedding with Ahmed. Her father gets adamant and says that she did not have a choice as it was too late to call it off.
Fatima protests and ends up crying day and night. No mercy is shown to Fatima from any of her family members. It is all about family prestige and the daughter's happiness is ignored.
Ahmed is also aware of what is happening and starts calling Fatima everyday. Hassan starts believing that Ahmed has suddenly changed for the better. Fatima asks Ahmed to call off the wedding as she was unable to. Ahmed is also not ready to call it off.
Fatima is in a difficult situation and needs help. What options are available to her? It is already mid August 20X2 and she is clearly being forced into marrying someone she does not want to. Ali and his family are helpless in trying to do anything.
- Is Fatima wrong in breaking up with Ahmed?
- Are the parents right in forcing Fatima to marry Ahmed?
- What are the options available to Fatima to avoid marrying Ahmed?
- Can Fatima go against her family and get married to Ali?
- Are the parents liable in front of Allah for forcing their daughter to marry someone because of family name and fame?
This is quite important and please reply at the earliest as Fatima might lose out and may be forced into marriage.
Jazak Allahu Khairan!
Tariq