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View Full Version : Wheres the Unity?, Piety Vs Culture


Ferrari1981
02-18-2008, 09:54 AM
Ok someone just randomly asked me a question and to be honest I aint gotta clue how to answer so I leave it to you folks!

Need some info: where to be directed?

"Whats the chances of a pious Pakistani boy marrying a pious Gujarati Surti girl (UK), (according to some sources) apparently surtis look down on Pakistanis and that South Africans are more open minded on this matter, what do you think?!?"

People say if you get rejected you should quit and marry your own kind, but why? Anything is attainable if you work for it, nothing is impossible. Dreams are there to give you an idea about what you want/need in the future so why give up on them if one nation says no, wheres the unity in Muslims today...

Responses so far:
Toronto, ON
my opinion, it doesnt matter if the boy and girl are pious, man its this stupid cultural boundary for guji's, u only marry another guji.. thas what thier parents say.. iunno if any1 else has it any dif, but my guess is that there is very lil chance of a pakistani of marrying a guji, only way it can happen is if the parents are open mindded or u really impress them.

UK Memi
to a certain extent i agree with Toronto, ON, it is just a cultural thing. but i wouldnt generalise to say that all surti's look down on pakistani's wen it comes to marriage because i hav seen guji's getting married to pakistani's and parents r fine with it. it depends on individual families and what they value more - their piety or their culture.

London Dedat
I say it's a bit of both...... my dad has given me free reign to marry whomever I choose (as long as he's muslim of course). My mother says you should marry your own kind... Maybe I have the best of both worlds...

More responses to come...



United States, North America
i think there's a chance because all pakistanis and all gujaratis don't see the need to fight over who's better. i know some pakistanis who have really close gujarati friends.

UK
depends on individual families; some are open minded and religious and don't look beyond religion and overall decency (religion character looks etc) and others just look for 'surtis' or whatever.
it depends if the gal/boy wants to actually marry you or not.



London, UK

well i have heard of many gujrati n bengali marriages, bt v.few with pakistanis.

It dependz on where the boy is 4m in pakistan, because pious or not the family matterz. N its likely that the boy's parents wil say no. 4m wot i have seen.

South africanz r open minded n les rigid wid culture.



University of Bradford

well not v tru igot lodz of pakistani cousins. my london cus who i hang around wiv is married to a pakistani gal. my paki mates in manchester r married to gujji surti gals but yeh ur rite there is objections. cos ppl think pakistanis cant be trusted :s what nonesense

nihma333
02-18-2008, 12:59 PM
Ok someone just randomly asked me a question and to be honest I aint gotta clue how to answer so I leave it to you folks!

Need some info: where to be directed?

"Whats the chances of a pious Pakistani boy marrying a pious Gujarati Surti girl (UK), (according to some sources) apparently surtis look down on Pakistanis and that South Africans are more open minded on this matter, what do you think?!?"

People say if you get rejected you should quit and marry your own kind, but why? Anything is attainable if you work for it, nothing is impossible. Dreams are there to give you an idea about what you want/need in the future so why give up on them if one nation says no, wheres the unity in Muslims today...
I don't think that anyone could answer this question accurately because the reality is that when it comes to marriage, everyone has their own preferences in mind, and vast generalizations don't necessarily apply like this one, "apparently surtis look down on Pakistanis and that South Africans are more open minded on this matter, what do you think?!?". Of course you will always have to deal with the cultural restrictions that families/parents have, ethnocentrism, racism and what have you when it comes to marriage; however, you will always have the Pakistani family that is willing to marry their child to a Surti, etc. Similarly, you will also have the South African family that is close minded about this issue. I agree, as an ummah we are a bit lacking on the unity side, and no doubt it's disturbing, but I do think that things are changing. I personally know a family that was ridiculously adamant about their daughter marrying a Pakistani but when they received a proposal from an Arab brother, they automatically said yes, and now they are married. So you should advise that someone that randomly asked you that question to be optimistic, make dua and put his/her trust in Allah. Just because "sutris look down on Pakistanis" doesn't mean that "pious Pakistani boy" shouldn't even attempt to make the proposal, because you really never know. Plus, at the end of the day Allah has already decreed the matter for us so whatever will be, will be... And Allah knows best.