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Safyah
02-19-2008, 11:44 AM
Asalaaam Alaikum wa rahmatallah,

I am sure this topic probably has been discussed before.. But I would like to get some input.

Islamicly, what does a sister do, if her family only wants a certain background for her to marry. Meaning, her family is not putting DEEN first. Yet, she does. Say for example, some one with good deen comes along, but family refuses based on background and would rather have a non-religious person just because of background. Does she say something.. or would that be considered rebelious and disobedient to the parents?

How does one please Allah in this matter.. caught in between doing want parents want versus marrying someone righteous? Which is more pleasing to Allah: Obeying parents, or marrying someone righteous?

qalb-e-saleema
02-19-2008, 02:44 PM
Walaykum salaam my sister

I am not an 'alima so pls read my advice with discretion...

Since marriage is something the person herself would end up experiencing it is vital that she have THE BIGGEST SAY in the matter unless of course the parents have very good reasons...valid ones... for not wanting their daughter to marry a particular guy.
NOT BEING DEENI IS NOT A GOOD REASON !!

So, i would say the daughter has every right to speak up in a calm and gentle manner without being aggressive........this is not being rebellious or disobeying one's parents...if this doen't help i would say that she gets a 3rd party involved like a mahrem e.g uncle that the parents respect and speak on your behalf and try your best to coax them.

Never also underestimate the power of du'a esp when one wants to pls Allah in one's endeavours.

I had a cousin involved in a situtaion like this and Algh the parents gave in with much persuasion and things worked out pretty ok algh etc

Sajed
02-19-2008, 03:04 PM
Wa alaykum as salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=24742

nybrother
03-07-2008, 09:25 AM
Assalamu 'alaikum

My advice: If the parents refuse except that their daughter marries a non-practicing guy just because of background, then the daughter should never ever accept such garbage. It's her life and her children who will suffer from marrying such a person.
There are many things to do in such a situation, like the sister mentioned above:
Talking to the parents, attempting to convince them. Show them that this is pure jahiliyyah and very unIslamic (in a nice, non-aggressive manner). Involving a 3rd party. Make du'a always.

May Allah make it easy to follow the Islamic way.