AkheeAB
10-10-2008, 09:05 AM
wa alake salam
wa braka Allaahu taa'ala feeke
Ameen! to your dua'a, ukhtee.
i hope that we all benefit from the knowledge that Allaah tabarak wa taa'ala has bestowed upon us inorder that we get near to him by the second until we meet the All Mighty.
How to be successful in life
Praise be to Allaah.
Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries and anxiety… these are what everyone wants, and these are the ways in which people can have a good life and find complete happiness and joy. There are religious means of achieving that, and natural and practical means, but no one can combine all of them except the believers; although other people may achieve some of them, they will miss out on others.
There follows a summary of the means of achieving this aim for which everyone is striving. In some cases, those who achieve many of them will live a joyful life and a good life; in other cases, those who fail to achieve all of them will live a life of misery and hardship. And there are others which are in between, according to what the means he is able to attain. These means include the following:
1 – Faith and righteous deeds:
This is the greatest and most fundamental of means. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”
[al-Nahl 16:97]
Allaah tells us and promises us that whoever combines faith with righteous deeds will have a good life and a good reward in this world and in the Hereafter.
The reason for that is clear: those who believe in Allaah – with sincere faith that motivates them to do righteous deeds that change hearts and attitudes and guides them to the straight path in this world and the Hereafter – follow principles and guidelines by means of which they deal with everything that happens to them, be it the causes of happiness and excitement or the causes of anxiety, worry and grief.
They deal with the things that they like by accepting them and giving thanks for them, and using them in good ways. When they deal with them in this manner, that creates in them a sense of excitement and the hope that it will continue and that they will be rewarded for their gratitude, which is more important than the good things that happen to them. And they deal with bad things, worries and distress by resisting those that they can resist, alleviating those that they can alleviate, and bearing with goodly patience those that they cannot avoid. Thus as a result of the bad things they gain a lot of benefits, experience, strength, patience and hope of reward, which are more important and which diminish the hardships they have undergone and replace them with happiness and hope for the bounty and reward of Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) expressed this in a saheeh hadeeth in which he said: “How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him. This does not apply to anyone but the believer.” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 2999).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that the believer is always gaining and the reward for his deeds is always multiplying, no matter what happens to him, good or bad.
2 – Being kind to people in word and deed, and all kinds of doing good. This is one of the means of removing worry, distress and anxiety. By this means Allaah wards off worries and distress from righteous and immoral like, but the believer has the greater share of that, and is distinguished by the fact that his kindness to others stems from sincerity and the hope of reward, so Allaah makes it easy for him to be kind to others because of the hope that this will bring good things and ward off bad things, by means of his sincerity and hope of reward. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allaah’s Cause), or Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allaah has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward”
[al-Nisa’ 4:114]
Part of that great reward is relief from worry, distress, troubles, etc.
3 – Another of the means of warding off anxiety that stems from nervous tension and being preoccupied with disturbing thoughts is to occupy oneself with good deeds or seeking beneficial knowledge, for that will distract one from dwelling on the matters that are causing anxiety. In this way a person may forget about the things that are making him worried and distressed, and he may become happy and more energetic. This is another means that believers and others have in common, but the believer is distinguished by his faith, sincerity and hope of reward when he occupies himself with that knowledge which he is learning or teaching, or with the good deeds that he is doing.
The work with which he occupies himself should be something that he likes and enjoys, for that is more likely to produce the desired results. And Allaah knows best.
4 – Another thing that may ward off worry and anxiety is focusing all one’s thoughts of the present day, and not worrying about the future or grieving about the past. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sought refuge with Allaah from worry and regret, from regret for things in the past which one cannot put right or change, and worry which may come because of fear for the future. So one should focus only on the present day, and focus one's efforts on getting things right today. For if a person is focused on that, this means that he will do things properly and forget about worry and regret. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said a du’aa’ or taught a du’aa’ to his ummah, as well as urging them to seek the help of Allaah and hope for His bounty, he was also urging them to strive to attain the thing they were praying for through their own efforts and to forget about the thing which they were praying would be warded off from them. Because du’aa’ (supplication) must be accompanied by action. So a person must strive to attain that which will benefit him in worldly and spiritual terms, and ask his Lord to make his efforts successful, and he should seek His help in that, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Strive for that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah, and do not be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.’ Rather you should say, ‘Qaddara Allaah wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allaah decrees, and what He wills He does),’ for (the words) ‘If only’ open the door to the Shaytaan.” (Narrated by Muslim). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) connected the matter of striving to achieve good things with the matter of seeking the help of Allaah and not giving in to feelings of helplessness which are a harmful kind of laziness, and with the matter of accepting things in the past which are over and done with, and acknowledging that the will and decree of Allaah will inevitably come to pass. He described matters as being of two types:
1 – Matters which a person may strive to achieve or to achieve whatever he can of them, or to ward them off or alleviate them. In such cases a person must strive and make the effort, and also seek the help of Allaah.
2 – Matters where such is not possible, so he must have peace of mind, accept them and submit to Allaah’s will.
Undoubtedly paying attention to this principle will bring happiness and relieve worry and distress.
5 – One of the greatest means of feeling content and relaxed and of acquiring peace of mind is to remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr). That has a great effect in bringing contentment and peace of mind, and relieving worry and distress. Allaah says:
“verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest”
[al-Ra’d 13:28]
Remembering Allaah (dhikr) has a great effect in achieving this aim because it has a special influence and because of the hope that it brings of reward.
6 – Another of the means of bringing happiness and relieving worry and distress is striving to eliminate the things that cause worry and to achieve the things that bring happiness. That may be done by forgetting about bad things in the past which cannot be changed, and realizing that dwelling on them is a waste of time. So a person must strive to stop himself from thinking of that, and also strive to stop himself from feeling anxious about the future and the things that he may imagine of poverty, fear and other bad things that he thinks may happen to him in the future. He should realize that the future is something unknown, he cannot know what good or bad things are going to happen to him. That is in the hand of the Almighty, the Most Wise, and all that His slaves can do is to strive to attain the good things and to ward off the bad things. A person should realize that if he diverts his thoughts from worrying about his future and puts his trust in his Lord to take care of his situation, and puts his mind at rest concerning that, if he does that, then his heart will be at peace and his situation will improve and he will be relieved of worry and anxiety.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with worries about the future is to recite this du’aa’ which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to recite:
“Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa ‘ismatu amri, wa aslih li dunyaaya allati fiha ma’aashi, wa aslih li aakhirati allati ilayha ma’aadi, waj’al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr, wa’l-mawta raahatan li min kulli sharr (O Allaah, correct my religious commitment which is the foundation of my life, and correct my worldly affairs in which is my livelihood, and grant me good in the Hereafter to which is my return. Make my life a means of accumulating good, and make death a respite for me from all evil).” (Narrated by Muslim, 2720).
And he said, “Allaahumma rahmataka arju fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘aynin wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu, laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allaah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not abandon me to myself even for a moment. And correct all my affairs. There is no god but You).” (Narrated by Abu Dawood with a saheeh isnaad, no. 5090; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, p. 49).
If a person utters these du’aa’s, which ask that his spiritual and worldly affairs may be set right or corrected, with proper presence of mind and sincerity of intention, whilst striving to achieve that, Allaah will grant him what he has prayed for, hoped for and striven for, and He will turn his worry into joy and happiness.
7 – If a person experiences anxiety and distress because of a disaster, then one of the most effective means of relieving himself of that is to think of the worst scenario to which that may lead, and try to accept that. When he has done that, then he should try to alleviate it as much as possible. By means of this acceptance and these efforts, he will relieve himself of his worries and distress, and instead of worrying he will strive to bring about good things and to deal with whatever he can of the bad things. If he is faced with things that cause fear or the possibility of sickness or poverty, then he should deal with that by striving to make himself accept that, or something even worse, with contentment, because by making himself accept the worst-case scenario, he lessens the impact of the thing and makes it seem less terrible, especially if he occupies himself with efforts to ward it off as much as he can. Thus as well as striving to achieve something good which will distract him from his worries about calamity, he will also renew his strength to resist bad things, and put his trust and reliance in Allaah. Undoubtedly these matters are of great benefit in attaining happiness and peace of mind, as well as bringing the hope of reward in this world and in the Hereafter. This is something which is well known from the experience of many who have tried it.
8 – Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the imaginary things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a person gives in to his imagination and lets his mind be disturbed by these thoughts, such as fear of disease and the like, or anger and confusion stirred up by some grievous matter, or the expectation of bad things and the loss of good things, that will fill him with worries, distress, mental and physical illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad effect on him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people have seen. But when a person depends on Allaah and puts his trust in Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts overwhelm him, and he relies on Allaah and has hope of His bounty, that wards off his worries and distress, and relieves him of a great deal of mental and physical sickness. It gives indescribable strength, comfort and happiness to the heart. How many hospitals are filled with the mentally sick victims of illusions and harmful imagination; how often have these things had an effect upon the hearts of many strong people, let alone the weak ones; how often have they led to foolishness and insanity.
It should be noted that your life will follow your train of thought. If your thoughts are of things that will bring you benefit in your spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life will be good and happy. Otherwise it will be the opposite.
The person who is safe from all of that is the one who is protected by Allaah and helped by Him to strive to achieve that which will benefit and strengthen the heart and ward off anxiety. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him”
[al-Talaaq 65:3]
i.e., He will be sufficient for all that is worrying him in his spiritual and worldly affairs. The one who puts his trust in Allaah will have strength in his heart and will not be affected by anything he imagines or be disturbed by events, because he knows that these are the result of vulnerable human nature and of weakness and fear that have no basis. He also knows that Allaah has guaranteed complete sufficiency to those who put their trust in Him. So he trusts in Allaah and finds peace of mind in His promise, and thus his worry and anxiety are dispelled; hardship is turned to ease, sadness is turned to joy, fear is turned to peace. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound, and to bless us with strength and steadfastness of heart, and complete trust, for Allaah has guaranteed all good things to those who put their trust in Him, and has guaranteed to ward off all bad and harmful things from them.
If bad things happen or there is the fear of such, then you should count the many blessings that you are still enjoying, both spiritual and worldly, and compare them with the bad things that have happened, for when you compare them you will see the many blessings that you are enjoying, and this will make the bad things appear less serious.
See al-Wasaa’il al-Mufeedah li’l-Hayaat al-Sa’eedah by Shatkh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Sa’di
Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allaah may dispel worries and regret. These are as follows:
1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine Lordship)
2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine nature)
3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma’ wa’l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and attributes)
4- Thinking of Allaah as being above doing any injustice to His slaves, and above punishing anyone for no cause on the part of the slave that would require such punishment.
5- The person’s acknowledging that he is the one who has done wrong.
6- Beseeching Allaah by means of the things that are most beloved to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names that encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes are al-Hayy (the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).
7- Seeking the help of Allaah Alone.
8- Affirming one's hope in Him.
9- Truly putting one’s trust in Him and leaving matters to Him, acknowledging that one's forelock is in His hand and that He does as He wills, that His will is forever executed and that He is just in all that He decrees.
10-Letting one's heart wander in the garden of the Qur’aan, seeking consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing in it from all diseases of the heart, so that it will bring comfort to his grief and healing for his worries and distress.
11-Seeking forgiveness.
12-Repentance.
13-Jihad.
14-Salaah (prayer).
15-Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving matters to the One in Whose hand they are.
We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound from worries and to relieve us of distress and anxiety, for He is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive, and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal.
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
AkheeAB
04-01-2009, 10:48 AM
Sabr ( Patience )
By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah.
An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
The Definition of Patience
Sabr is an Arabic word which comes from a root meaning to detain, refrain and stop. There is an expression in Arabic, "so-and-so was killed sabran," which means that he was captured and detained until he died. In the spiritual sense, patience means to stop ourselves from despairing and panicking, to stop our tongues from complaining, and to stop our hands from striking our faces and tearing our clothes at times of grief and stress.
What scholars have said about patience
Some scholars have defined patience as a good human characteristic or a positive psychological attitude, by virtue of which we refrain from doing that which is not good. Human beings cannot live a proper, healthy life without patience.
Abu 'Uthman said: "the one who has patience is the one who has trained himself to handle difficulties."
'Amr ibn 'Uthman al-Makki said: "Patience means to keep close to Allah and to accept calmly the trials He sends, without complaining or feeling sad."
Al-Khawwas said: "Patience means to adhere to the rules of the Qur'an and Sunnah."
Another scholar said: "Patience means to refrain from complaining."
Ali ibn Abi Talib said: "Patience means to seek Allah's help."
Is it better to have patience at a time of difficulty, or to be in a situation which does not require patience?
Abu Muhammad al-Hariri said: "Patience means not seeing any difference between times of ease and times of hardship, and being content at all times." I (Ibn Qayyim) say: This is too difficult, and we are not instructed to be like this. Allah has created us in such a way that we feel the difference between times of ease and times of hardship, and all that we can do is refrain from panicking at times of stress. Patience does not mean feeling the same at both easy and difficult times. That is beyond us, and is not part of our nature. Having an easy time is better for us than having a difficult time. As the Prophet (SAAS) said in his well-known du'a: "If You are not angry with me, then I do not care what happens to me, but still I would rather have Your blessings and favour." This does not contradict the hadith which says, "No-one has ever been given a better gift than patience," because that refers to after a test or trial has befallen a person. But ease is still better.
Patience and Shakwah (complaint)
Shakwah (complaint) falls into two categories: The first type means to complain to Allah, and this does not contradict patience. It is demonstrated by several of the Prophets, for example, when Ya qub (AS) said:
"I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah." (Yusuf 12:86).
Earlier, Ya'qub (AS) had said "sabrun jamil" which means "patience is most fitting for me." The Qur'an also tells us about Ayyub:
"And (remember) Ayyub (Job), when he cried to his Lord, 'Truly distress has seized me. (al-Anbiya 21:83).
The epitome of patience, the Prophet (SAAS), prayed to his Lord: " O Allah, I complain to You of my weakness and helplessness." Musa (AS) prayed to Allah, saying: "O Allah, all praise is due to You, and complaint is made only to You, and You are the only One from Whom we seek help and in Whom we put our trust, and there is no power except by Your help." The second type of complaint involves complaining to people, either directly, through our words, or indirectly, through the way we look and behave. This is contradictory to patience.
Opposing forces
Psychologically speaking, every person has two forces at work within him or her. One is the "driving force", which pushes him towards some actions, and the other is the "restraining force", which holds him back from others. Patience essentially harnesses the driving force to push us towards good things, and the restraining force to hold us back from actions that may be harmful to ourselves or others. Some people have strong patience when it comes to doing what is good for them, but their patience is weak with regard to restraint from harmful actions, so we may find that a person has enough patience to perform acts of worship (Salah, Sawm, Hajj), but has no patience in controlling himself and refraining from following his whims and desires, and in this way he may commit haram deeds. Conversely, some people may have strong patience in abstaining from forbidden deeds, but their patience in obeying commandments and performing 'ibadah is too weak. Some people have no patience in either case! And, needless to say, the best people are those who possess both types of patience. So, a man may have plenty of patience when it comes to standing all night in prayer, and enduring whatever conditions of heat or cold may be prevalent, but have no patience at all when it comes to lowering his gaze and refraining from looking at women. Another may have no problem in controlling his gaze, but he lacks the patience which would make him enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and he is so weak and helpless that he cannot strive against the kuffar and mushrikun. Most people will be lacking in patience in any one case, and a few lack it in all cases.
Further definition of patience
A scholar said: "To have patience means that one's common sense and religious motives are stronger than one's whims and desires." It is natural for people to have an inclination towards their desires, but common sense and the religious motive should limit that inclination. The two forces are at war: sometimes reason and religion win, and sometimes whims and desires prevail. The battlefield is the heart of man.
Patience has many other names, according to the situation. If patience consists of restraining sexual desire, it is called honour, the opposite of which is adultery and promiscuity. If it consists of controlling one's stomach, it is called self-control, the opposite of which is greed. If it consists of keeping quiet about that which it is not fit to disclose, it is called discretion, the opposite of which is disclosing secrets, lying, slander or libel. If it consists of being content with what is sufficient for one's needs, it is called abstemiousness, the opposite of which is covetousness. If it consists of controlling one's anger, then it is called forbearance, the opposite of which is impulsiveness and hasty reaction. If it consists of refraining from haste, then it is called gracefulness and steadiness, the opposite of which is to be hotheaded. If it consists of refraining from running away, then it is called courage, the opposite of which is cowardice. If it consists of refraining from taking revenge, then it is called forgiveness, the opposite of which is revenge. If it consists of refraining from being stingy, then it is called generosity, the opposite of which is miserliness. If it consists of refraining from being lazy and helpless, then it is called dynamism and initiative. If it consists of refraining from blaming and accusing other people, then it is called chivalry {muru'ah literally "manliness").
Different names may be applied to patience in different situations, but ail are covered by the idea of patience. This shows that Islam in its totality is based on patience.
Is it possible to obtain the quality of patience?
If a person does not naturally possess the characteristic of patience, he can attain this characteristic by acting as if he does possess it, until it eventually becomes second nature. This is what the Prophet (SAAS) has told us in the hadith: "Whoever tries to be patient, then Allah will help him to be patient." A person can also strive to control his sexual desire and lower his gaze until these too become second nature. The same applies to all other desirable characteristics such a steadiness, generosity and courage.
Different perspectives on patience
Patience may be of two types, either physical or psychological, and both types may either be by choice, or without choice, as follows:
1. Physical patience by choice, such as doing hard labour willingly.
2. Physical patience without choice, such as patiently bearing illness, beatings and extremes of heat and cold.
3. Psychological patience by choice, such as refraining from things which both the Sharî‘ah and common sense say are wrong.
4. Psychological patience without choice, such as patiently bearing an enforced separation from one whom you love.
Different degrees of patience
As mentioned above, patience is of two types, by choice or without choice. Patience by choice is of a higher status than patience without choice, as the latter is common to all people, but the former is not attainable by all. Therefore the patience of Yűsuf in disobeying the wife of al-‘Azîz, and his patience in bearing the resulting punishment, is of higher status than his patience in response to his brothers’ actions, when they threw him in the well, separated him from his father and sold him as a slave. This superior, voluntary, patience is the patience of the Prophets, of Ibrâhîm, Műsâ, Nűh, ‘Īsâ and the Seal of the Prophets, Muhammad (SAAS). Their patience was in calling the people to Allâh and in striving against the enemies of Allâh.
The patience of men and the patience of animals
These four types of patience apply only to human beings. Animals share only the two types of patience in which there is no choice, and man is distinguished by having the patience in which there is choice. However, many people have only the types of patience that animals have, i.e. patience without choice.
The patience of jinn
Jinn share the quality of patience with humans, as they are responsible for their actions like humans are. They need patience to fulfil their responsibilities towards Allâh the same way that we do. One might ask: are they responsible in the same way that we are, or in a different way? The answer is that with regard to matters of emotion and feelings they are responsible just as we are, and share the obligation to love for the sake of Allâh and hate for Allâh, to believe and have faith, to take believers for friends and unbelievers for enemies, etc. But as far as physical matters such as ghusl, wudű‘, washing after relieving oneself and circumcision are concerned, they are not the same as us. Their duties in that regard are in accordance with the way they are created.
The patience of the angels
Another question that may arise is: Do angels have patience? The answer is that angels are not tested with whims and desires that contradict their reason and knowledge. For them, worshipping and obeying Allâh are like breathing is for us. Therefore the angels do not need patience, because patience is needed when one has conflicting motives, religion and reason opposite to whims and desires. However, the angels may have some kind of patience which befits them and makes them persevere in doing what they were created for.
The patience of man
If a man’s patience is stronger than his whims and desires, then he is like an angel, but if his whims and desires are stronger than his patience, then he is like a devil. If his desire for food, drink and sex is stronger than his patience, then he is no better than an animal.
Qatâdah said: “Allâh created angels with reason and no desires, animals with desires and no reason, and man with both reason and desires.” So if a man’s reason is stronger than his desire he is like an angel, and if his desires are stronger than his reason, then he is like an animal. A little baby has only the desire for food when he needs it, and his patience is like the patience of animals. Until he reaches an age when he can tell what is what, he has no choice. When he grows a little older and develops a desire to play, then his patience by choice will develop. He will start to know what patience means when his sexual desire develops. At the same time, his power of reasoning is also developing, but between the age when he can tell right from wrong and the age of puberty, all he can see is his own interests in this world, and what might make life good or bad. This limited view will remain until he is guided by Allâh, then he will have the full picture and begin to think of his interests both in this life and the hereafter. He will become aware of where different actions may lead, and will prepare himself for a long struggle with his desires and natural inclinations.
Different degrees of patience
The kinds of patience which relate to resisting whims and desires can be graded according to how strong and effective they are. There are three degrees of patience in this respect:
1. The motive of religion is strongest in controlling and defeating the whims and desires. This level of control can only be achieved through consistent patience, and those who reach this level are victorious in this life and in the hereafter. They are the ones “who say, ‘Our Lord is Allâh’” (Fussilât 41:30). These are the ones to whom, at the moment of death, the angels say,
“Fear not!...Nor grieve! But receive the Glad Tidings of the Garden (of Bliss), that which you were promised! We are your protectors in this life and the Hereafter." (Fussilât 41:30-31).
They are the ones who enjoy the companionship of Allâh, and who strive in the way of Allâh. They are the ones whom Allâh has guided to the exclusion of others.
2. When whims and desires prevail, the religious motive is diminished. The doomed person will surrender totally to Shaytân and his forces, who will lead him wherever they want. His relationship with them will be either of two possibilities. Either he will become their follower and a soldier in their army, which is the case of the weak person, or Shaytân will become a weapon for him, and one of his soldiers, which is the case of the strong person who rebels against Allâh. Those people are the ones whose misfortune has overtaken them, as they preferred this world to the Hereafter. The main reason for their sorry fate is that they ran out of patience. The major characteristic of these people is that they lie and cheat, indulge in wishful thinking and self-admiration, delay doing good deeds, and prefer instant gains in this world to lasting gains in the Hereafter. These are the people to whom the Prophet (SAAS) referred when he said:
“The helpless man is the one who follows his whims and desires, and indulges in wishful thinking.”
These unfortunate people are of several types. Some of them declare war against Allâh and His Messenger, trying to destroy what the Prophet (SAAS) brought, pushing people away from the way of Allâh, and spreading corruption on earth. Some are interested solely in their worldly interests. Some are two faced hypocrites who try to ingratiate themselves with everybody and gain something from every situation. Some are promiscuous, and devote their entire life to the pursuit of physical pleasure. Some, if they are warned, say that they would dearly love to repent, find it too difficult and plead they have no chance. Some say that Allâh does not need their prayers and fasting, that they will not attain salvation by virtue of their deed, and that they will rely on the fact that Allâh is Merciful. Some of them claim that refraining from committing wrong actions is like undermining the forgiveness of Allâh. Some will say, “What good could my worship do after all the wrong actions I have committed? What can help a drowning man if his fingers are above water and the rest of his body is submerged?” Some say that they will repent when death approaches...
So many excuses, all because their whims and desires control their reason, and they use their reason, in turn, to find ways of fulfilling those desires. Their reason is held prisoner by the Shaytân, and put to work to serve his evil purposes, just as Muslim prisoners-of-war may be abused by the kâfirűn and forced to look after pigs, make wine or carry the cross. The man who suppresses his reason and puts it under the control of the enemy (Shaytân) is like the one who seizes a Muslim and hands him over to the kâfirűn to imprison him.
3. There is a war that is raging between the motives of reason and religion, and the motives of whims and desires. Sometimes one prevails, sometimes the other gains the upper hand. The pattern of victories for either side varies. This is the situation in the case of most believers, who mix good deeds and bad deeds.
People’s ultimate fate in the Hereafter will correspond to the three situations outlined above. Some people will enter Paradise and never enter Hell, some will enter Hell and never enter Paradise, and some will enter Hell for some time before they are admitted to Paradise.
Different strengths of patience
Some people cannot have patience without struggling and facing many difficulties. Others are able to have patience easily. The first type is like a man who wrestles with a strong man and cannot beat him with the utmost effort. The second type is like a man who wrestles with a weak man and beats him easily. Such is the war between the soldiers of ar-Rahmân and the soldiers of Shaytân. Whoever defeats the soldiers of Shaytân can defeat Shaytân himself. ‘Abdullâh ibn Mas‘űd narrated:
“A man wrestled with one of the jinn, and beat him, then asked, ‘Why are you so weak and small?’ The jinn answered, ‘I am very big and strong compared to the rest of the jinn.’” Someone asked ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘űd, “Was that man, ‘Umar?” and he replied, “Who else could it have been?”
Some of the Sahâbah said,
“A believer whips the Shaytân like the way a person whips his camel when he is travelling.”
Ibn Abi’d-Dunyâ narrated from some of the salaf that one shaytân met with another, and asked him why he was so thin. The other shaytân replied,
“Because I am a with a man who mentions the name of Allâh when he eats, so I cannot eat with him, and he mentions the name of Allâh when he drinks, so I cannot drink with him. When he enters his home he mentions the name of Allâh, so I stay outside.” The first shaytân said, “But I am with a man who does not mention the name of Allâh when he eats, so I eat with him. He does not mention the name of Allâh when he drinks, so I drink with him. When he enters his home he does not mention the name of Allâh, so I enter with him."
So whoever develops the habit of patience is feared by his enemies, and whoever finds patience difficult is in danger, as his enemy will readily dare to attack him and do him harm.
When patience is needed
Patience is required in the following areas of life:
1. In worshipping Allâh and following His commands,
2. In abstaining from wrong actions,
3. In accepting Allâh’s decree and ruling (qadâ’ wa qadr). This is the advice given to Luqmân when he told his son:
“O my son! establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just and forbid what is wrong; and bear with patient constancy whatever betide you; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs.” (Luqmân 31:17)
Enjoining what is just includes doing good oneself, and forbidding what is wrong includes abstaining from wrong action oneself.
Patience in worshipping Allâh
Patience in worshipping Allâh and carrying out His instructions means that you perform the prescribed acts of worship regularly and do so sincerely and with knowledge. Worship that is not performed regularly is of no value. Even if worship is performed regularly, there are two dangers. Firstly, we risk losing our sincerity, if the motive for performing prayers is not to please Allâh and draw closer to Him.
So to protect our worship we must make sure that we are sincere. Secondly, we must be sure never to deviate from the way of the Prophet (SAAS), so we have to ensure that our worship is done according to the Sunnah.
Patience in abstaining from wrong action
This type of patience can be achieved through the fear of the punishment which follows the wrong action, or through a feeling of hayâ’ (shyness or shame) before Allâh for using His blessings in committing wrong actions. That feeling of hayâ’ before Allâh can be strengthened through learning more about Allâh and knowing more about His names and attributes. Hayâ’ is a characteristic of people who are noble and possess good qualities, so the person who refrains from wrong action because of hayâ’ is better than the one who abstains because of fear. Hayâ’ indicates that a person is mindful of Allâh and His might. The person whose deterrent is the fear of Allâh has his thoughts focused on the punishment. The fearful person’s main concern is himself and how to save himself from the punishment, whereas the “shy” person’s main concern is Allâh and His Glory. Both have attained the status of îmân, but the “shy” person has attained ihsân, a higher status of îmân, in which he conducts himself as if he can see Allâh, and so his heart is filled with hayâ’.
The reason why it is so important for a believer to abstain from wrong action is because he must protect his îmân, as wrong action decreases îmân or extinguishes it. The Prophet (SAAS) said,
“When the adulterer commits adultery he is not a believer, and when the winebibber drinks alcohol he is not a believer and when the thief steals he is not a believer. The believer should abstain from many permitted actions in case they may lead to that which is forbidden.”
Patience at times of trial and adversity
Patience during difficult times may be achieved by:
1. thinking of the good reward that lies ahead. The more you believe in the rewards that are waiting for you, the easier it becomes to have patience. If it were not for the anticipation of the rewards, no goals or objectives pertaining to this life or the hereafter would have been achieved. Human nature loves instant gratification, but reason and maturity make us think of the long term outcome, which helps to strengthen our patience in enduring whatever faces us, whether there is no choice or otherwise;
2. expecting and hoping for a time of ease. This hope in itself offers a measure of immediate relief;
3. thinking of Allâh’s countless blessings. When we realize that we cannot enumerate the blessings of Allâh, it becomes easier for us to exercise patience in facing the current adversity, because the present troubles are like a raindrop compared to vast ocean of Allâh’s blessings and favours;
4. thinking of previous blessings of Allâh. This will remind us of Allâh’s care, and strengthen our hopes ad expectations of a time of ease to come.
Five Categories of Patience
Five Categories of Patience Patience can also be divided into categories following the five categories of deeds, namely wâjib (obligatory), mandűb (encouraged), mahdhűr (forbidden), makrűh (disliked) and mubâh (permissible).
Obligatory (wâjib) patience
1. Patience in abstaining from forbidden (harâm) things and actions,
2. Patience in carrying out obligatory deeds,
3. Patience in facing adversity which is beyond one’s control, such as illness, poverty, etc.
Encouraged (mandűb) patience
1. Patience in abstaining from disliked (makrűh) things,
2. Patience in performing acts of worship which are liked and encouraged (mustahabb)
3. Patience in refraining from taking revenge.
Forbidden (mahdhűr) patience
1. Patience in abstaining from food and drink until death.
2. Patience in abstaining from eating harâm meat, carrion and blood, when the alternative is death and starvation. Tawus and Ahmad ibn Hanbal said, “Whoever has no choice but to eat carrion, harâm meat and blood, but refuses to eat it and dies as a consequence, will enter Hell.”
3. Patience in refraining from begging. There is a dispute as to whether begging from people is forbidden or permissible. Imam Ahmad said that this kind of patience and abstention is allowed. He was asked, “What if a person fears that if he does not do this, he will die?” Imam Ahmad answered, “No, he will not die. Allâh will send him his due provision (rizq).”Imam Ahmad did not allow begging: when Allâh knows the need of a person and his sincerity in abstaining from begging, Allâh will send him rizq. Other scholars, including some of Imam Ahmad’s companions and Imam ash-Shafi‘î said, “It is obligatory on such a person to beg, and if he did not beg, than he would be a wrongdoer, because by begging he protects himself from death.”
4. Patience in enduring things that may lead to death, such as predators, snakes, fire and water.
5. Patience at times of fitnah when the Muslims are fighting Muslims. Patience in abstaining from fighting at such a time, when Muslims are killing Muslims, is mubâh (permissible), indeed it is mustahabb (liked and preferred). When the Prophet (SAAS) was asked about this, he said, “Be like the better of the two sons of Ādam.” In other, similar reports he said, “Be like the slave of Allâh who was killed, and not like the one who has killed,” and “let him (the killer) carry his own wrong action and your wrong action.” In another report, he said, “If the sword is too bright, put your hand on your face.” Allâh has told us the story of the better of the two sons of Ādam, and how he surrendered himself and did not fight back, and how Allâh commended him for that. This is different to the case when Muslims are fighting kâfirűn: in that situation the Muslim has to defend himself, because the meaning of Jihad is to defend himself and Islâm.
Disliked (makrűh) patience
1. Patience in abstaining from physical appetites (food, drink, sex) to the extent of causing damage to one’s health.
2. Patience in doing a makrűh deed.
Permissible (mubâh) patience
Patience in abstaining from mubâh deeds. Patience and Gratitude By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah
An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA
Good Patience and Bad Patience
Bad patience means having patience in keeping away from Allâh and His love and His will, because this prevents a person from fulfilling his potential of attaining perfection and doing what he was created for. This is the worst type of patience, and the most difficult, because there is no type of patience stronger than that of the person who wilfully keeps away from his Creator, as apart from Him there is no life at all. No-one is as careless as the person who has no interest in what Allâh has prepared for His friends (awliyâ’) in the hereafter, that which no eye has ever seen nor ear has ever heard, and has never been imagined by any person. Once a man who admired a zâhid (one who does without) for his zuhd (doing without) and lack of interest in this world said to him, “I have never seen a man who has as much zuhd (doing without) as you so.”The zâhid told him, “Your zuhd is much stronger than mine, for my zuhd concerns the world, and this life is short and unstable, but your zuhd concerns the hereafter, which is eternal.”
A man asked Shiblî, “What type of patience is more difficult?” Shiblî said, “Patience through seeking the help of Allâh.” The man said, "No." Shiblî said, “Then patience for the sake of Allâh.”The man said, “No.” Shiblî said, “Patience in seeking the pleasure of Allâh.” The man said, “No.” So Shiblî asked, “What is it then?” and the man answered, “Patience in keeping away from Allâh.”Shiblî screamed in such a way that he nearly died.
Good patience consists of two types: patience for the sake of Allâh and patience by the help of Allâh. Allâh said:
“Now await in patience the command of your Lord: for verily you are in Our eyes...” (at-Tűr 52:48)
It is impossible to have patience for the sake of Allâh without patience by the help of Allâh:
“And be patient, for your patience is but by Allâh...” (an-Nahl 16:127)
This âyah tells us that patience cannot be achieved without the help of Allâh, which means that in addition to the help of Allâh we need the companionship of Allâh, as in the hadîth [qudsî]:
“I am his hearing with which hears, his sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he strikes.”
The help of Allâh is bestowed upon the believer and the wrongdoer alike, both of whom receive blessings and rizq. This hadîth describes something more, the companionship of Allâh, which the believer will attain when he performs nafl (supererogatory) acts of worship until Allâh loves him. When he reaches that status, and Allâh is his hearing with which he hears and his seeing with which he sees, he does not move or do anything but Allâh is with him. Whoever reaches this level can have patience for Allâh’s sake and endure severe hardship to please Him. The person who does not reach this level will not have this degree of patience; his level of patience will be in accordance with his share of Allâh’s companionship. The believer who enjoys Allâh’s companionship will reach levels of patience that are impossible for others. Those who have patience are the winners in this world and the next, because Allâh is with them:
“for Allâh is with those who patiently persevere” (al-Baqarah 2:153).
Emulating the attributes of Allâh
If a person loves an attribute of Allâh, then this will help him to reach Him. Allâh is as-Sabűr, patient, and there is none that is more patient and forbearing than Him. It was reported that Allâh revealed to Dâwűd (AS), “Have my attributes, as one of My attributes is that I am sabűr (patient).” Allâh loves His attributes and characteristics, and He loves to see the effects of His attributes on His slaves. As He is beautiful, so He loves beauty; as He is all-forgiving, He loves forgiveness; as He is generous, He loves generosity; as He is all-knowing, he loves the people of knowledge; as He is strong and powerful, so a strong believer is more beloved to Him than a weaker one; as He is sabűr (patient), so He loves those who have patience; as He is shakűr (grateful), so He loves those who give thanks. As He loves those who have His characteristics, so He is with them, and this is a special and unique type of companionship.
No contradiction between patience and complaining to Allâh
Crying out and complaining to Allâh does not mean that a person has no patience. In the Qur’ân, we find Ya‘qűb (AS) saying, “My course is comely patience (sabrun jamîl)” (Yűsuf 12:83), but his love and longing for his lost son Yűsuf made him say: “How great is my grief for Yűsuf” (Yűsuf 12:83). Sabrun jamîl refers to patience with no complaint to other people. Complaining to Allâh does not cancel out patience, as Ya‘qűb said, “I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allâh” (Yűsuf 12:86).
Allâh also enjoined sabrun jamîl on the Prophet (SAAS) and he obeyed, but he would pray,
“O Allâh, I complain to You of my weakness and helplessness.”
Taken from Patience and Gratitude By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat ash-Shâkireen” © 1997 TA-HA
Man cannot do without patience
At any given moment, a person is in a situation where he has to obey a command of Allâh, or he has to stay away from something which Allâh has prohibited, or he has to accept a decree of Allâh, or he has to give thanks (show gratitude) for a blessing which he has received from Allâh. All of these situations demand patience, so up until the time of death, no-one can do without patience. Whatever happens to us in life is either in accordance with our wishes and desires, or against them. In both cases, patience is required.
If a person enjoys good health, security, power, wealth and fulfillment of his physical desires, he should not assume that this time of ease will last forever, and he should not let his good fortune make him arrogant, extravagant or careless in a way that Allâh does not like. He should not devote all his time, money and energy to the pursuit of physical pleasure, because too much pleasure results pain. He should take care to pay what is due to Allâh in the way of zakât and sadaqah, otherwise Allâh might take away His blessing. He should also abstain from spending money in a harâm way, and be careful to avoid spending it in a makrűh way. All of this takes patience, and nobody can exercise patience at a time of ease except people of very strong faith (as-siddiqűn).
Patience at the time of adversity is easier than at the time of ease
One of the salaf said
“Believers and unbelievers alike may have patience at a time of adversity, but only people of strong faith can have patience at a time of ease.”
Therefore Allâh warned against the fitnah of wealth, wives and children:
“O you who believe! Let not your riches or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allâh. If any act thus, the loss is their own.” (al-Munâfiqűn 63:9) “O you who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them!” (at-Taghâbűn 64:14)
The enmity referred to in these âyât is not that which results from hatred and conflict, but that which results from love and care, that might prevent parents from religious duties such as hijrah, jihâd, seeking knowledge and giving sadaqah. At-Tirmidhî narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that a man asked him (Ibn ‘Abbas) about the ayah quoted above (at-Taghâbűn 64:14). Ibn ‘Abbas told him that this ayah refers to some men of Makkah who embraced Islâm, but when they wanted to migrate to join the Prophet (SAAS) in Madînah, their wives and children prevented them from doing so. Later on, when they eventually joined the Prophet (SAAS) and saw that others had already learned a great deal about Islâm, they wanted to punish their wives and children. So Allâh revealed this ayah: “O you who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them!” (at-Taghâbűn 64:14). At-Tirmidhî said that this report is hasan sahîh.
The hadîth, “Children are the cause of cowardliness and stinginess” reflects how much a man may be held back in his pursuit of perfection and success by his wife and children. Once, when the Prophet (SAAS) was delivering a khutbah, he saw Hasan and Husayn walking and stumbling, so he interrupted his speech and went to pick them up, and said: “Indeed, Allâh has spoken the truth when He said: ‘…among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves.’I saw these two little boys stumbling and I did not have the patience to continue my khutbah, so I stopped and picked them up.” The Prophet (SAAS) did so because of his love for children, and in this way he set an example for his Ummah to show mercy and kindness towards children.
The reason why it is so difficult to exercise patience at a time of ease is because we have a choice regarding how to behave. A hungry person has better patience when he has no access to food, and when food becomes available, his patience weakens. Similarly, it is easier to control one’s sexual desire when no women are around.
Patience in worship
We human beings have a natural aversion to carrying out acts of worship, like salâh, because of our inherent laziness. If a man is hardhearted and commits many wrong actions, thinking too much of physical pleasure and mixing with people who do not remember Allâh, then he can hardly perform his prayers, and if he does not pray he does so absent-mindedly and hurriedly.
Every step of the way, man needs patience in carrying out an act of worship. Before he starts to do it, he must make sure that his intentions are correct. He should check his sincerity, and seek to avoid showing off in performing any act of worship. Whilst he is performing any act of worship, he must try to perfect it, to keep his intentions pure and his mind focused on the purpose of performing that act of worship, namely that it is to please Allâh. After completing an act of worship, he must abstain from doing anything that could corrupt his worship. Allâh has told us: “O you who believe! Cancel not your charity by reminders of your generosity or injury” (al-Baqarah 2:264). He should exercise patience in refraining from admitting and feeling proud of his performance, as this is more damaging than committing many other, more visible, wrong actions. Similarly, he should always be discreet and refrain from telling others about his acts of worship.
Patience in abstaining from committing wrong actions
The best way to help oneself abstain from wrong action is to break all bad habits, and forsake all those who encourage one to commit wrong actions. Habits have a strong hold over man’s behaviour, and if habit is accompanied by desires, this means that there are two soldiers of Shaytân fighting the motives of reason and religion, which cannot then withstand them.
Patience in adversity and in situations beyond man’s control
Trials such as the death of a beloved one, sickness, loss of wealth, etc., fall into two types: adversity beyond one’s control, and adversity caused by the actions of another human being, such as slander, beating, etc.
In facing situations that are beyond one’s control, people may have any of the following reactions:
1. feeling helpless and discontented, panicking and complaining.
2. responding with patience, either for the sake of Allâh or as a sign of human strength.
3. accepting and being contented with the situation. This is actually of a higher status than patience.
4. accepting the situation with thanks and gratitude. This is even higher than acceptance, because in this case a person see the adversity as a blessing and thanks Allâh for putting him through it.
Problems and adversity that befall a person at the hands of others may be faced with any of the following reactions:
1. he may choose to forgive and forget.
2. he may decide not to take revenge.
3. he may accept the decree (qadâ’ wa qadr), whilst recognizing that the person who harmed him was a wrongdoer, yet the One Who decreed that this harm should reach him at the hands of the wrongdoer is not a wrongdoer. The harm caused by people is like heat and cold: there is no way to prevent it happening and the one who complains about heat and cold betrays a lack of wisdom. Everything that happens, happens through the decree (qadâ’ wa qadr), even though there are many different ways and means for it to happen.
4. he may treat well the person who mistreated him. This attitude has many advantages and benefits, which nobody can know in their entirety except Allâh.
Patience in situations which are started by choice, but whose consequences get out of hand
For example, love, the start of which may be by choice but the final consequences of which are beyond a person’s control. Similarly, one may expose oneself to the causes of illness and pain (for example, by smoking or taking drugs), after which it is difficult to stop the consequences, and after taking a large amount of intoxicants it is difficult to stop drunkenness. Man should exercise patience and abstain in the first place.
Patience at the time of bereavement
The loss of a loved one is a time when a person may be overwhelmed with grief, and many customs surrounding bereavement reflect the depth of the feeling of loss. Wailing, eulogizing (i.e. praising the deceased excessively) and tearing one’s garments are all customs which were well known at the time of Jâhiliyyah, and are still common among some Muslims. Such conduct is not permitted in Islâm, as the believer is required to face bereavement, like all the other trials of life, with patience.
It is permitted to cry or weep, softy, before death, at the time of death, and after the person has died. According to ash-Shâfi‘î, however, it is makrűh to cry after the person has died, but permissible before the soul has departed.
The correct opinion is that crying is permitted both before and after death. The evidence for this is the hadîth narrated by Jâbir ibn ‘Abdullâh (RA) in which he said: “My father died at the battle of Uhud, and I began to weep. The people told me to stop, but the Messenger (SAAS) never asked me to stop. Then my aunt Fâtimah began to weep too, and the Prophet (SAAS) said:
‘It does not matter whether you cry or not, the angels kept shading him until they ascended with his soul’ ” (agreed upon).
Ibn ‘Abbâs (RA) reported that when Ruqayyah (RA), the daughter of the Prophet (SAAS), died, the women started to cry, and ‘Umar (RA) began to whip them to make them stop. The Prophet (SAAS) told him: “O ‘Umar, leave them alone and let them cry.” To the women he said: “Go ahead and cry, but avoid the crying of the shaytân…Whatever comes from the eye and heart is from Allâh and is a sign of mercy, and whatever comes from your hand and your tongue is from the shaytân.” (Ahmad)
A number of sound ahâdîth describe the Prophet (SAAS) weeping on a number of occasions when someone he loved had died. When the Prophet (SAAS) visited the tomb of his mother he wept, and caused others to weep. When he was burying the martyr ‘Uthmân ibn Madh’un (RA) after Uhud, he kissed him and his tears fell on ‘Uthmân’s face. When he gave the news of the death of Ja’far (RA) and his companions in the battle against the Romans at Mu’tah, he spoke with tears streaming down his face.
Another sound report describes how Abű Bakr (RA) wept when he kissed the Prophet (SAAS) after he had died. The ahâdîth that forbid crying should be interpreted as referring to the kind of crying that is accompanied by eulogizing and wailing.
Eulogizing and wailing
Eulogizing the dead and wailing in grief are harâm, according to Ahmad, ash-Shâfi‘î and others. In a hadîth narrated from ‘Abdullâh ibn Mas‘űd (RA), that the Prophet (SAAS) said:
“He is not one of us who strikes himself on the cheeks, rends his garment and behaves like the people of Jâhiliyyah” (al-Bukhârî and Muslim).
Abű Mâlik al-Ash‘arî (RA) said: “The Prophet (SAAS) said:
‘There are four habits which my Ummah has, which are from the Jahiliyyah. My Ummah will never rid itself of them. They are: seeking pride in noble descent; slandering one another by casting doubts one one’s lineage; seeking rain through astrology; and wailing.’ ”
In another hadîth, the Prophet (SAAS) said that if a woman practices the custom of wailing, and does not repent before she dies, on the Day of Resurrection she will be raised with clothes of tar and a shield of scabs. (Muslim)
Abű Műsâ (RA) said: “The Prophet (SAAS) said:
‘The deceased person suffers because of the wailing of the living. When the wailing woman says, “What a great loss! I have lost my right arm, the one who clothed me”, the deceased will be pulled up sharply and asked: “Are you her right hand? Are you her support? Are you the one who clothed her?” ’ ” (Ahmad).
There is no doubt that wailing and eulogizing are harâm. How could it be otherwise, when they indicate discontent with one’s Lord and contradict patience? Behaving this way harms oneself too, when one slaps one’s face, pulls out one’s hair, prays to Allâh to take one’s soul, wastes possessions by tearing one’s clothes, complains of injustice from Allâh and praises the deceased with qualities that he did not possess. Any of these would be sufficient grounds for the total prohibition of wailing and eulogizing.
Saying a few words
It is permissible to say a few words when crying over a deceased person, so long as these words are true, and are not accompanied by wailing or expression of discontent with the decree of Allâh. Such brief words do not contradict patience, and are not harâm. Anas (RA) reported that Abű Bakr (RA) entered upon the Prophet (SAAS) after he had passed away, put his hands on his temples, kissed him between the eyes and said: “O my Prophet, O my dearest friend, O my beloved.” (Ahmad)
Anas (RA) reported that when the Prophet (SAAS) became very ill, he started to lose conciousness. Fâtimah (RA) said, “How great is the distress of my father!” He said, “There will be no more distress for your father after today.” When the Prophet (SAAS) passed away, she said, “O my father who answered the call of his Lord, O my father whose destination is Paradise, O my father, to Jibrîl will tell the news of your death.” After the Prophet (SAAS) had been buried, she said, “O Anas, how could you bear to bury the Prophet and cover him with dust?” (al-Bukhârî)
When his son Ibrâhîm died, the Prophet (SAAS) said, “We are very sad for your death, O Ibrâhîm.”This does not indicate discontent with the decree of Allâh or complaining against Allâh. Such statements are no more than crying or weeping.
The deceased person suffers because of people’s wailing over him
A sahîh hadîth narrated from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattâb (RA) and his son, and al-Mughîrah ibn Shu‘bah indicates that a deceased person suffers because of people’s wailing over him. There should be no problem in understanding this hadîth, and it should not be seen as contradicting the Qur’ân or the basic principles of Sharî‘ah. It does not mean that a man can be punished because of another’s deeds. The Prophet (SAAS) did not say that the deceased person will be punished because of his family’s crying over him. What he said was that the deceased suffers because of that, meaning that it hurts him. Similarly, a dead person in the grave might suffer when a person in a neighbouring grave is being punished, just as in the life it hurts him to see his neighbour being punished. So when the family of a deceased person cries, wails and eulogizes him, like the people of Jâhiliyyah used to do, the deceased person will be hurt in his grave because of it. This is the suffering that is referred to in the hadîth.
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
Patience is half of Imân
Imân is in two halves: half is patience ( sabr) and half is gratitude ( shukr). Therefore Allâh has mentioned patience and gratitude alongside one another:
“Verily in this are signs for all who constantly persevere and give thanks” (Ibrâhîm 14:5; Luqmân 31:31; Sabâ’ 34:19; ash-Shurâ 42:33).
The reasons why one half of îmân is patience and the other half is gratitude are as follows:
1. îmân is a term which covers words, deeds and intentions, all of which are based on one of two things, action or abstinence. Action refers to performing a deed in accordance with the instructions of Allâh, which is the reality of gratitude. Abstinence, as in refraining from wrong action, requires patience. The whole of religion is embodied in these two things: carrying out that which Allâh has commanded, and refraining from that which Allâh has prohibited.
2. îmân is based on two pillars, yaqîn (conviction) and patience, which are referred to in the following ayah:
“And We appointed, from among them, leaders, giving guidance under Our command, so long as they persevered with patience and continued to have faith in Our Signs” (as-Sajdah 32:34).
It is through faith that we know the reality of Allâh’s commands and prohibitions, or reward and punishment, and it is through patience that we carry out His instructions and abstain from that which He has prohibited. A person can never come to believe in Allâh’s commands and prohibitions, and in reward and punishment, and it is through patience that we carry out His instructions and abstain from that which He has prohibited, and in reward and punishment, except through faith, and that is truly from Allâh. And we can never carry out Allâh’s instructions and abstain from that which He has prohibited except through patience. Therefore patience is half of îmân, and the other half is gratitude.
3. Man has two powers, the power of doing and the power of abstaining, which control all his behaviour. So a person will do what he likes and abstain from what he dislikes. The whole of religion is doing or abstaining, carrying out the instructions of Allâh or abstaining from that which He has prohibited, neither of which can be accomplished without patience.
4. The whole of religion is hope and fear, and the true believer is the one who is both hopeful and fearful. Allâh said:
“…They used to call on Us with love and reverence, and humble themselves before Us” (al-Anbiyâ’ 21:90).
The Prophet (SAAS) used to pray:
“O Allâh, I have surrendered my soul to You, and turned my face to You. My (own) affair I commit to Allâh and I seek Your protection, in hope of You and in fear of You” (al-Bukhârî).
So the believer is the one who is both hopeful and fearful, but hope and fear can only be based on the foundation of patience: fear should make the believer patient, and his hope should lead to gratitude.
5.Any action done by man is either beneficial or harmful to him in this world and the next, or else it is beneficial to him in the world and harmful to him in the other. The best course for man is to do that which is beneficial to him in the Hereafter, and abstain from that which is harmful to him in the Hereafter. This is the reality of îmân: to do what is good for him, and that is gratitude; and to abstain from that which harms him, and that is patience.
6.Man is always is a situation where he has to carry out an instruction of Allâh, or avoid something which Allâh has prohibited, or accept something that Allâh has decreed. In all cases, he has to face the situation with patience and gratitude. Carrying out Allâh’s instructions is gratitude, and abstaining from prohibited things and being content with the decree of Allâh constitutes patience.
7.Man is constantly being pulled in two opposing directions: should he respond to the lure of this world of desires and pleasures, or should he answer the call of Allâh and the hereafter, with the eternal Paradise that Allâh has prepared for His friend ( walî)? Going against the call of whims and desires is patience, and responding to the call of Allâh and the Hereafter is gratitude.
8.Religion is based on two principles: determination and perseverance (patience), which are referred to in the du‘â of the Prophet (SAAS):
“O Allâh, I ask You for perseverance in all my affairs, and I ask You for the determination to stay on the straight and narrow path.”
9. Religion is based on truth (haqq) and patience, which is referred to in the âyah:
“…and they (join together) in the mutual teaching of truth, and of patience and constancy” (al-‘Asr 103:3).
Man is required to work according to the truth, both by himself and others, which is the reality of gratitude, but he cannot do that without patience, therefore patience is half of îmân. And Allâh knows best.
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
Patience in the Qur’ân
Imâm Ahmad said: “Allâh has mentioned patience in the Qur’ân in ninety places.” Here, we will list the different contexts in which patience appears.
1. Instruction. Patience in enjoined upon believers:
“And be patient for your patience is but by Allâh…” (an-Nahl 16:127). “Now await in patience the command of your Lord…” (at-tűr 54:48).
2. That which is opposite to patience is forbidden:
“…and be in no haste about the (unbelievers)…” (al-Ahqâf 46:35). “So lose not heart nor fall in despair…” (Al ‘Imrân 3:139).
“…and be not like the Companion of the Fish (i.e. Yűnus [AS]) – when he cried out in agony” (al-Qalâm 68:48).
3.Patience is made a condition of success and prosperity:
“O you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy; vie in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear Allâh; that you may prosper” (Al ‘Imrân 3:200).
4. The rewards of those who exercise patience will be doubled:
“Twice will they be given their reward, for that they have persevered…” (al-Qasas 28:54). “…Those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!” (az-Zumar 39:10).
Sulaymân ibn Qâsim said that the reward of every deed is known, except for the reward of patience, which will be like heavy rain.
5. Patience and îmân are prerequisites for leadership in religion:
“And We appointed, from among them, leaders, giving guidance under Our commands, so long as they persevered with patience and continued to have faith in Our Signs” (as-Sajdah 32:24).
6.Patience is the way to earn the companionship of Allâh:
“…and be patient and persevering: for Allâh is with those who patiently persevere” (al-Anfâl 8:46).
Abű Alî ad-Daqqaq said:
“People who have patience are the true winners in this world and the next, because they have the companionship of Allâh.”
7.Allâh will reward those who have patience with a threefold reward: blessings, mercy and guidance:
“…but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere – who say, when afflicted with calamity: ‘To Allâh we belong, and to Him is our return’ – they are those on whom (descend) blessings from their Lord, and Mercy and they are the ones that receive guidance” (al-Baqarah 2:155-7).
When people came to offer their condolences to one of the salaf, for some calamity that had befallen him, he said:
“Why should I not practice patience, when Allâh has promised those who have patience three rewards, each of which is better than this world and everything in it?”
8.Patience is a means of seeking Allâh’s help:
“…seek (Allâh’s) help with patient perseverance and prayer…” (al-Baqarah 2:45).
So whoever has no patience has no help.
9.Patience and taqwâ are conditions for Allâh’s help and support:
“Yea – if you remain firm, and act aright, even if the enemy should rush here on you in hot haste, your Lord would help you with five thousand angels making a terrific onslaught” (Al ‘Imrân 3:125).
10.Patience and taqwâ are a great protection against the cunning of enemies:
“…But if you are constant and do right, not the least harm will their cunning do to you…” (Al ‘Imrân 3:120).
11.The angels will salute the people of patience in Jannah:
“…and angels shall enter unto them from every gate (with the salutation of): ‘Peace unto you for that you persevered in patience! Now how excellent is the final Home!’ ” (ar-Ra‘d 13:24).
12.Allâh made it permissible to treat our enemies no worse than they treat us, but He has made it clear that practising patience is better:
“And if you do catch them out, catch them out no worse than they catch you out: but if you show patience, that is indeed the best (course) for those who are patient” (an-Nahl 16:126).
13.Allâh made patience and right actions a condition for forgiveness and great reward:
“Not so those who show patience and constancy, and work righteousness; for them is forgiveness (of wrong actions) and a great reward!” (Hűd 11:11).
14.Allâh has made patience a standard of courage and determination in the conduct of one’s affairs:
“But indeed if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs” (ash-Shűra 42:43) “(Luqmân said:) ‘O my son! …enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy whate’er betide you, for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs” (Luqmân 31:17).
15.Allâh has promised the believers His support and victory, and has said that they deserve this because of their patience:
“…The fair promise of your Lord was fulfilled for the Children of Israel, because they had patience and constancy…” (al-A‘raf 7:137).
16.Allâh has made patience a condition of His love:
“How many of the Prophets fought (in Allâh’s way), and with them (fought) large bands of godly men? But they never lost heart if they met with disaster in Allâh’s way, nor did they weaken (in will) nor give in. And Allâh loves those who are firm and steadfast (as-sâbirîn)” (Al ‘Imrân 3:146).
17.Allâh has made patience a condition of receiving many blessings:
“But those who had been granted (true) knowledge said: ‘Alas for you! The reward of Allâh (in the Hereafter) is best for those who believe and work righteousness: but this none shall attain, save those who steadfastly persevere (in good)” (al-Qasas 28:80). “And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint – none but persons of the greatest good fortune” (Fussilât 41:35).
18.Allâh has mentioned that only those who practise patience and gratitude will benefit from the Signs of Allâh:
“Do you not see that the ships sail through the Ocean by the grace of Allâh? – that He may show you of His Signs? Verily in this are Signs for all who constantly persevere and give thanks” (Luqmân 31:31).
“And among His Signs are the ships, smooth-running through the ocean, (tall) as mountains. If it be His Will, He can still the Wind: then they would become motionless on the back of the (ocean). Verily in this are Signs for everyone who patiently perseveres and is grateful” (ash-Shűra 42:32-33).
19.Allâh praised Ayyűb (AS) for his patience:
“…Truly We found him full of patience and constancy, how excellent in Our service! Ever did he turn (to Us)!” (Sâd 38:44).
Allâh described Ayyűb (AS) as excellent because of his patience, sot he person who fails to exercise patience when it is necessary will be regarded as a failure and a sinner.
20.Allâh has given a general ruling that whoever does not have faith and does not belong to the people of truth and patience, is in state of loss. This means that the only true winners are people of patience:
“By (the Token of) Time (through the Ages), verily Man is in loss, except such as have Faith, and do right actions, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of the Truth, and of Patience and Constancy” (al-‘Asr 103:1-3)
Commenting on this sűrah, Imâm ash-Shâfi‘î said:
“If people thought deeply on this sűrah, it would provide enough guidance, as man cannot attain perfection without perfecting these two things, his knowledge and his actions, i.e. his faith and right actions. As he is required to perfect himself, so he is required to perfect others, which is joining together in mutual teaching of the truth. The foundation of all this is patience.”
21.Allâh has mentioned that the main characteristic of those who attain salvation is patience and compassion:
“Then will he be of those who believe and enjoin patience, (constancy, and self-restraint), and enjoin deeds of kindness and compassion. Such are the companions of the right had” (al-Balad 90:18).
22.Allâh has mentioned patience alongside the pillars of Islâm and îmân, as He has mentioned it alongside sâlah: “Nay, seek (Allâh’s) help with patient perseverance and prayer…” (al-Baqarah 2:45); alongside right actions:“Not so those who show patience and constancy, and do right actions; for them is forgiveness (of wrong actions) and a great reward” (Hűd 11:11); alongside gratitude (shukr): “…Verily in this are Signs for everyone who patiently perseveres and is grateful” (ash-Shűra 42:32-33); alongside truth: “…and (join together) in the mutual teaching of truth, and of patience and constancy” (al-‘Asr 103:1-3); alongside compassion: “…those who believe and enjoin patience, (constancy, and self-restraint), and enjoin deeds of kindness and compassion…” (al-Balad 90:17); alongside faith: “…so long as they persevered with patience and continued to have faith in Our Signs” (as-Sajdah 32:24); alongside truth: “…for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant…” (al-Ahzâb 33:35).
Allâh has made patience the means for attaining His love, His companionship, His help and support, and His good rewards. This is sufficient honour and blessings.
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
Ahâdîth about patience (http://<font%20color=)
Umm Salamah said: I heard the Prophet (SAAS) saying, “
There is no Muslim afflicted with calamity who says ‘To Allâh we belong and to Him is our return; O Allâh reward me for this calamity and compensate me with what is better for me,’ but Allâh will compensate him with what is better for him.” She said: “When Abű Salamah died, I said: ‘Who among Muslims is better than Abű Salamah? His household was the first to migrate to the Messenger of Allâh!’ Anyhow, I said what what the Prophet (SAAS) taught us to say, and Allâh compensated me with the Messenger of Allâh. The Prophet (SAAS) sent Hâtib ibn Abî Balta‘ah to ask for my hand in marriage on his behalf, but I told him that I had a daughter, and that I was a very jealous woman. The Prophet (SAAS) responded: ‘As far as her daughter is concerned, I shall pray to Allâh to make her independent, and I shall pray to Allâh to take away her jealousy.’ So I married the Messenger (SAAS).” (Muslim)
Abű Műsâ al-Ash‘arî said: The Prophet (SAAS) said:
“When a child of a man dies, Allâh asks the angels, ‘Did you take the soul of My slave’s child?’ They reply, ‘Yes.’ He asks them, ‘Did you take away the apple of his eye?’, and they reply, ‘Yes.’ The He asks: ‘What did My slave say?’ They tell Him: ‘He praised You and said: “To Allâh we belong and to Him is our return.” ’ Allâh says: ‘Build a house for him in Paradise and call it Bait al-hamd (the house of praise)’.” (At-Tirmidhî, Ahmad and Ibn Hibbân)
Anas (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “Allâh said:
‘If I test My slave by depriving him of his two precious ones (meaning the eyes or eyesight), and he faces that with patient perseverance, I shall compensate him with Paradise.’ ” (al-Bukhârî)
From آ’ishah (RA) via ‘Urwah and az-Zuhri:
“The Prophet (SAAS) said: ‘No affliction befalls a Muslim but Allâh forgives his wrong actions because of it, even if it be no more than a thorn’.” (al-Bukhârî and Muslim)
Sa‘d ibn Abî Waqqâs (RA) said:
“I asked the Prophet (SAAS) who among the people are most severely tried? He said, ‘The Prophets, then the right acting people, and so on down through various categories of people. Man will be tested according to the strength of his faith. The stronger his faith, the more severe his trial, and the weaker his faith, the lighter his trial. The believer will be continually tested until he walks on earth with all his wrong actions forgiven’.” (al-Bukhârî)
Anas (RA) narrated that a son of Abű Talhah (RA) fell ill and died one day when Abű Talhah was away from home. When Abű Talhah’s wife realized that her son had died, she covered him with a blanket, and left him lying by the wall. Abű Talhah came home and asked how the boy was, and his wife told him: “He has calmed down and I hope he is resting,” so Abű Talhah thought that the child was getting better. That night he slept with his wife, and in the morning he got up and performed ghusl. When he was about to go out, he wife told him that his son had died. So Abű Talhah went and prayed with the Prophet (SAAS), then told him what had happened. The Prophet (SAAS) responded by saying, “May Allâh bless this last night of yours.” A man from Ansâr said, “I have seen nine children of the man who was born as result of that night, and all of them have read the Qur’ân.” (al-Bukhârî)
Abű Sa’îd al-Khudrî (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAAS) said:
“No-one can be given a better an more abundant gift than patience.” (al-Bukhârî and Muslim)
Patience at the time of sickness
Abű Sa‘îd al-Khudrî (RA) said:
“I entered upon the Prophet (SAAS) when he was sick and had a high temperature. I put my hand on the cover with which he was covering himself and I could feel the heat of his fever. I said, ‘How strong is your fever, O Messenger of Allâh!’ He said, ‘We Prophets are like that: our pain is multiplied so our rewards will be multiplied’.” (Ahmad)
Jâbir ibn Abdullâh (RA) said that the Messenger of Allâh (SAAS) enterer upon a woman and asked her,
“Why are you shivering like that?” She said, “It is because of fever,” and cursed the fever. The Prophet (SAAS) said, “Do not slander fever, because it takes away many wrong actions, just as the blacksmith’s bellows remove dross and impurities from iron.” (Muslim)
Ziyâd ibn Ziyâd, the mawlâ (freed slave) of Ibn ‘Abbâs (RA), narrated from one of the Sahâbah, who said:
“We entered upon the Prophet (SAAS) when he was ill with fever. We expressed our sorrow for his pain, and said, ‘May our mothers and fathers be sacrificed for you, O Messenger of Allâh! How severe is your pain!’ He replied, ‘We Prophets are afflicted many times more strongly.’ We said, ‘Subhân’allâh!’ He asked, ‘Do you find this strange? There were some Prophets who were killed by ringworm.’ We said, ‘Subhân’allâh!’ He asked, ‘Do you find this strange? The most severely tried of people are the Prophets, then the right acting people, the those who are less right acting, and so on.’ We said, ‘Subhân’allâh!’ He said, ‘Do you find this strange? They used to enjoy their times of trials and afflictions as you enjoy your times of ease.’ ”
Masrűq narrated from ‘آ’ishah (RA) who said:
“I have never seen anyone endure more severe pain than the Prophet (SAAS). When he fell ill, his pain became so severe, to the extent that he could not sleep for nineteen nights.”
‘آ’ishah (RA) narrated that the Messenger of Allâh (SAAS) said: “
Truly fever makes wrong actions fall away from a man like leaves fall from a tree.” And it was narrated that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “The likeness of the believer when he suffers from illness is like iron when it enters the fire; the dross is removed, and the good elements stay.”
It was narrated that Abű Ayyűb al-Ansârî (RA) said:
“The Prophet (SAAS) visited a sick man of the Ansâr, and when the Prophet (SAAS) asked how he was, he said, ‘O Messenger of Allâh, I have not closed my eyes for seven days.’ The Prophet (S) told him, ‘Have patience, my brother, for if you do, you will be rid of your wrong actions as easily as you acquired them.’ The Prophet (SAAS) also said: ‘The time of illness cancels out the time of wrong actions.’ ”
Anas (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAAS) said:
“When a slave of Allâh becomes ill for three days, he will come out having shed all his wrong actions, and will become as sinless as the day he was born.” And it was narrated that the Prophet (SAAS) said: “The prayer of the sick person will never be rejected, until he recovers.”
It was narrated that the Prophet (SAAS) said:
“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no qadâ’ that Allâh decrees for the believer but it is good for him. If Allâh decrees that he will go through a time of ease, the believer will be grateful, and that is good for him. If Allâh decrees that he will suffer some affliction, he will be patient, and that is also good for him. This applies only to the believers.” (Ahmad)
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
Sahâbah on the virtues of patience (http://<font%20color=)
As-Safar said: “Abű Bakr fell ill, so some people visited him and asked whether they should call a doctor for him. He said,‘The Doctor has already seen me.’ They asked, ‘What did he say?’ Abű Bakr said, ‘He said, “I do what I want”.’ ” (Meaning, that Allâh is his “Doctor” and can make him sick or healthy as He wills) (Ahmad). ‘Umar ibn al-Khattâb (RA) said:
“The best days we ever lived were by virtue of patience, and if patience were to take the shape of a man, he would be a noble and generous man.”
‘Alî ibn Abî Tâlib (RA) said:
“The relation of patience to îmân is like the relation of the head to the body. If the head is chopped off, the body becomes useless.” Then he raised his voice and said: “Certainly, the one who has no patience has no îmân, and patience is like a riding-beast that nevers gets tired.”
‘Umar ibn ‘Abdu’l-‘Azîz said:
“Allâh never bestows a blessing on His slave then takes it away and compensates him by giving him patience, but that with which he has been compensated is better than that which has been taken away from him.”
The story of ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr
‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr came to visit the Khalîfah al-Walîd ibn ‘Abdu’l-Malik. With him was his son Muhammad, who was one of the most handsome of men. The young man had dressed up for the occasion in fine clothes, and had his hair in two plaits or braids. When al-Walîd saw him, he said, “This is how the young people of Quraysh look!” and by so saying, put the evil eye on him. Before he left, the young man fell ill. When he was in the stable (preparing for the journey) he fell down, and the horses trampled him to death. Then ‘Urwah got gangrene in his leg, and al-Walîd sent doctors to him, who suggested that the leg should be amputated, otherwise the gangrene would spread to the rest of the body and kill him. ‘Urwah agreed, and the doctors began to remove his leg, using a saw. When the saw reached the bone, ‘Urwah fainted, and when he came around, sweat was pouring down his face, and he was repeating, “Lâ ilâh ill-Allâh, Allâhu akbar.” When the operation was over, he picked up his leg and kissed it, then said, “I swear by the One Who mounted me on you, I never used to walk to any place of wrong action or to any place where Allâh would not like me to be.” Then he gave instructions that the leg should be washed, perfumed, wrapped in a cloth and buried in the Muslim graveyard. When ‘Urwah left al-Walîd and returned to Madînah, his family and friends went to meet him at the outskirts of the city and to offer condolences. The only reply he made was to quote from the Qur’ân: “…truly we have suffered much fatigue at our journey” (al-Kahf 18:62). He did not say any more than that. Then he said, “I will not enter Madînah, for people there either rejoice over the afflictions of others, or else feel envy for their blessings.” So he went to stay in a place at al-‘Aqîq. ‘خsâ ibn Talhah came to visit him there and said, “May your enemies’ fathers perish!” and asked him, “Show me the affliction for which I have come to console you.” ‘Urwah uncovered his stump, and ‘خsâ said, “By Allâh, we were not preparing you to wrestle! Allâh has saved most of you: your sanity, your tongue, your eyesight, your two hands, and one of your two legs.” ‘Urwah told him, “Nobody has consoled me as you have.” When the doctors came to perform the amputation, they had asked ‘Urwah whether he would drink intoxicants to ease the pain. He said, “Allâh is testing me to see the extent of my patience. How could I go against His commands?”
Beautiful patience (sabr jamîl – Yűsuf 12:83) and panic
Mujâhid said: “Beautiful patience is patience without any panic.” ‘Amr ibn Qays said: “Beautiful patience means to be content with adversity and to surrender to the will of Allâh.” Yűnus ibn Yazîd said: I asked Rabî‘ah ibn ‘Abdu’l-Rahmân: “What is the ultimate of patience?”He said: “To be outwardly the same at the time of affliction as one was the day before it struck.” (This does not mean that a person does not or should not feel pain or anguish; patience in this instance means that one refrains from panicking and complaining.) Commenting on the meaning of beautiful patience, Qiyas ibn al-Hajjâj said:
“The person who is suffering from some affliction should behave in such a way that nobody is able to distinguish him from others.”
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
What is the most difficult type of patience? (http://<font%20color=)
The degree of difficulty in abstaining from some things depends on the strength of one’s motive and one’s ability to do the action in question. Whoever has no motive to kill, or steal, or drink alcohol, or whatever, and at the same time in not able to do it, will find it very easy to exercise patience in abstaining from those things. Whoever has a strong motive to commit a wrong action and has the means to do so, will face great difficulty in exercising enough patience to abstain. There it is very difficult for a ruler to refrain from committing injustice and oppression (dhulm), and it is difficult for a young man to refrain from fornication, and it is difficult for a rich man to refrain from pursuing physical desires and pleasures.
The Prophet (SAAS) is reported to have said: “Allâh will commend a young man who never behaved in an ignorant way” (Ahmad). In another hadîth, he referred to those who will be shaded in the shade of Allâh’s throne for their perfect patience – such as the patience of an absolute ruler in being just in all situations, regardless of his own feelings, and the patience of a young man in worshipping and obeying Allâh and suppressing his own whims and desires, and the patience of the man who gives sadaqah in keeping his sadaqah secret, and the patience of a man who resists the temptation of a woman of beauty and high status, and the patience of two men who meet for the sake of Allâh and part for the sake of Allâh, in keeping their relationship for the sake of Allâh, and the patience of one who weeps out of fear of Allâh, in keeping that secret and not telling others about it. All of these are among the most difficult types of patience. Therefore the punishment of an old man who commits adultery, a king who tells lies and a poor man who is arrogant is more severe, because it is easy for them to keep away from such wrong actions, and does not require much in the way of patience. Their attitude indicates that they are willfully rebelling against Allâh.
Patience in abstaining from wrong actions of speech and sexual wrong actions
Amongst the most difficult types of patience is patience in refraining from committing wrong actions of speech and sexual wrong actions. Wrong actions of speech – such as backbiting and slander, telling lies to create trouble between people, and praising oneself explicitly or implicitly, and insulting people one does not like and praising those whom one does like – are all entertaining and enjoyable. There is a strong motive to commit these wrong actions, and it is so easy to move one’s tongue and speak, so the patience required to abstain from them is particularly difficult. Therefore the Prophet (SAAS) told Mu‘âdh, “Control your tongue.” Mu‘âdh asked, “ Are we accountable for what we say?” The Prophet (SAAS) answered, “Is there anything other than the wrong actions of speech that cause people to be thrown in Hell on their faces?”
Once the wrong actions of speech have become a habit, patience becomes even more difficult. So you might see a man who stays up all night praying, fasts all day, and would refrain from touching a pillow if it were made of silk, yet he gives his tongue free rein in backbiting, slandering and causing trouble between people.
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
Ways of Strengthening Patience
The Patience of noble people and the patience of ignoble people
Every person has to exercise patience in order to face difficulties, whether he does so willingly or unwillingly. The noble person exercises patience willingly, because he realizes the benefits of patience, and he knows that he will be rewarded for his patience and will be criticized if he panics. He is aware that if he does not have patience, panicking and impatience will not help him to regain missed opportunities, and will not take away things he dislikes. Whatever is decreed and is qada’ wa qadr cannot be prevented from happening, and whatever is decreed not to happen cannot be made to happen. So an attitude of impatience and panic actually causes harm.
A wise man said: “A man with wisdom as soon as adversity appears does that which a foolish man does after a month (i.e. he resorts to patience).”
The ignoble man exercises patience only when he realizes he has no choice. After wasting a lot of time and energy and panicking and struggling, he realizes that his impatience will not help him. Then he exercises patience in the same way that a person who has been tied up to be whipped exercises patience.
The noble person practices patience in obeying Allâh, whilst the ignoble person exercises patience in obeying the Shaytân. So ignoble people have the greatest patience in following their own whims and desires, and have the least patience in spending in the way of Shaytân and no patience when it comes to spending even a few pennies in the way of Allâh. They will endure many difficulties in order to follow their own whims and desires, but cannot bear even the least difficulties in order to please their Lord. They will endure slander for the sake of committing wrong actions, but cannot exercise patience in putting up with slander for the sake of Allâh. Such people will avoid enjoining the good and forbidding the evil for fear of what people will say about them for doing so, but they will expose their honour to slander and bear it most patiently for the sake of following their own whims and desires. Similarly, they are not prepared to practise patience in devoting themselves to Allâh, but when it comes to devoting themselves to Shaytân and their own whims and desires, they will exercise remarkable patience. Such people will never be noble in the sight of Allâh, and on the Day of Resurrection they will not be raised with the people of nobility and decency.
Ways of strengthening patience
As patience is fard (obligatory), Allâh has provided us with ways and means of obtaining and strengthening the quality of patience, for He has never instructed us to do something without providing us with help and support to do it, and ways and means of achieving it. He has never created a disease without creating a cure for it, and He has guaranteed cure when medicine is used. Even so, patience is difficult, but it is not impossible to attain. Patience consists of two elements: knowledge and action, and from these two elements are derived the remedies for all spiritual and physical troubles. Knowledge and action, combined, are always essential.
Knowledge
The element of knowledge is necessary in order to realize the benefits of following the commands of Allâh and the sense of happiness and fulfillment that one may attain by following them; and to understand what it is in the forbidden things that causes harm, imperfection and evil. When a person realizes that, and adds strong willpower, the desire for spiritual achievement and the wish to live as a complete human being (as opposed to as animal-like existence), then it will become easy for him to attain the quality of patience. The bitterness of patience will become sweet and the pain of patience will become joy.
Action
As we has already seen, patience is a constant battle between the motives of reason and religion on the one had, and the motive of whims and desires on the other. If a person wants reason and religion to overcome whims and desires, then he has to strengthen the former and weaken the latter, just like promoting good health and reducing the risk of illness.
For example, a person who has a strong desire to commit adultery can take steps to combat it. He may have such a strong sexual urge that he cannot stop committing adultery; or he may not commit the act itself, but us unable to stop looking at women; or he may be able to stop looking at women but he cannot stop thinking of sex, to the extent that all his thoughts are devoted to this subject, and he never gives any thought to things which could benefit him in this life and in the hereafter. If he is really serious about finding a cure for this disease, then he has to follow these steps:
1. He can find out what types of food increase sexual desire, then he can reduce his intake of them, or avoid them altogether. If this does not work, then he can fast, as fasting reduces sexual desire, especially if the food eaten when he breaks his fast is moderate.
2. He should lower his gaze and avoid looking at women, as looking at women may provoke sexual desire. The Prophet (SAAS) warned us, “Looking (at women) is one of the arrows of the Shaytân.” Shaytân aims his arrows from reaching its target unless one lowers one’s gaze. But if a person keeps looking, he is exposing his heart to these arrows, any one of which may be fatal.
3. He should enjoy permissible sex (i.e. within marriage), because any desire that Allâh created in us has a permissible outlet. This is the best cure, as the Prophet (SAAS) has indicated.
4. He should think of the harm and damage that may befall him in this world as a consequence of his fulfilling his sexual desire in a prohibited way. Even if there were no Paradise or Hell, the harm that could be caused in this world by such an action should be enough to stop him from doing it. The damage caused by such actions is so great that it can barely be quantified, but sexual desire makes some people blind.
5. He should think of the ugliness of the person who is tempting him to commit adultery with her, especially if she is known to have other partners. He should feel too proud to drink from the same place as dogs and wolves!
Strengthening the motive of reason and religion
In the battle between reason/religion and whims/desires, we have the following “weapons” at our disposal: 1. We should remember the glory and greatness of Allâh, and feel that He is too great to be sinned against as He is all-seeing and all-hearing. Whoever thinks of the greatness of Allâh will never be at ease in committing wrong actions.
2. If we claim to love Allâh, then we should not disobey Him, because of that love. A person should be obedient to the One he claims to love. Those who refrain from committing wrong action out of their love for Allâh are of the highest status in His sight, as are those who worship Him out of love for Him. There is great difference between the one who obeys Allâh and abstains from wrong action out of love, and the one who does so out of fear of punishment.
3. We should think of the blessings and favours of Allâh, as a decent and noble person would never act against the one who has been treating him kindly. Only base and ignoble people do such a thing. If we think of the blessings and favours of Allâh, we will realize that we should not respond by doing against His commands and committing wrong action.
4. We should think of the wrath and punishment of Allâh, as He will be angry with the person who persists in committing wrong action. Nothing can stand in the way of the consequences of His anger, least of all this weak slave of His.
5. We should think of what the person who commits wrong action has to lose, in this world and the next. It should be sufficient to think of the loss of îmân (faith), of which the smallest amount is worth much more than everything in this world. How can anyone be willing to lose his îmân in return for some brief moment of pleasure the consequences of which might last forever? In a sahîh hadîth, the Prophet (SAAS) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the time of when he is committing adultery.” Commenting on this hadîth, one of the Sahâbah said: “His îmân will be dragged out of him until it goes over his head like a cloud. If he repents, then his îmân will return to him.”
6. We should relish the idea of defeating the Shaytân and being victorious over him, because of overcoming him, and our whims and desires, is a thing of joy and carries a great reward. It is like taking medicine and being rewarded with restoration to good health.
7. We should bear in mind the reward and compensation which Allâh has promised to those who control their whims and desires, and abstain from that which is harâm.
8. We should think of the special companionship of Allâh, as He has told us: “Allâh is with those who patiently persevere” (al-Baqarah 2:153) “For Allâh is with those who restrain themselves and those who do good” (an-Nahl 16:128) “For verily Allâh is with those who do right.” (al-‘Ankabűt 29:69)
9. We should be ever mindful of death, which could come upon us at any time, suddenly and without warning.
10. We should stop thinking of falsehood and bad ideas. Even if bad thoughts cross our minds, we should not let them stay, otherwise they may become hopes and wishes which we may act upon, and harm ourselves and others in the process.
11.We should gradually strengthen our religious motive in fighting whims and desires. Once we have tasted the joy of defeating those whims and desires, then our determination and willpower will grow stronger.
12. We should direct our thoughts towards contemplation of the signs of Allâh which He has encouraged us to think about, whether they are in the Qur’ân or in the universe around us. If such thoughts are constantly in our hearts and minds, this will help us to shun the whisperings of the Shaytân. There is no greater loser than the one who, instead of thinking of Allâh, His Book, His Prophet and his Sahâbah, dwells on Shaytân and the ideas of Shaytân.
13. We should remember how short is our stay on this earth. No-one would want to feel that all he has achieved in this life is the worst kind of deeds, except a person who has no spiritual ambition, whose heart is dead and who is careless. Such a person will ultimately regret his deeds when he realizes that, far from benefiting him, they will lead to punishment. Even the person who has many good deeds to his credit will feel that sense of regret when he realizes that he could have done even more.
14.We should know that Allâh has created us to live an eternal life with no death, a life of pride and ease with no humiliation, a life of security with no fear, a life of richness with no poverty, a life of joy with no pain, a life of perfection with no flaws. Allâh is testing us in this world with a life that will end with death, a life of pride which is accompanied by humiliation and degradation, a life that is tainted by fear, where joy and ease are mixed with sorrow and pain. So many people are mistakenly seeking an easy life of power and pleasure in this world, but most of them never manage to achieve it, and those who do, enjoy it only for a brief time before it vanishes. The Prophets called people to an eternal life of plenty, and whoever answers their call will have the best life in this world, better than the life of kings and their followers, for zuhd in this life is true richness. This is something which the Shaytân greatly envies the believers.
Merely knowing the facts that we have outlined above is not enough. We have to strive and do our utmost to achieve our aim and attain perfection. The best way to do so is to put a stop to the habits that are controlling our lives, as these are the main obstacles which prevent us from succeeding. We should avoid places of fitnah and temptation, as the Prophet (SAAS) told us, “Whoever hears of the Dajjâl should keep away from him.” The best way to protect ourselves from wrong is to keep away from anything that could lead to it. One of the favourite tricks of the Shaytân, which deceives everyone except those who are clever enough to see it, is to show a person some goodness in a wrong thing, and call him to go towards what is good; when the person gets close to it, he falls into the trap.
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
Patience and loving Allâh
Patience is one of the most important qualities demanded of those who claim to love Allâh, as the degree of patience determines those who are sincere in their claim and those who are not. The degree of patience needed to endure hardship and difficulties in order to please the Beloved proves the sincerity of one’s love. Many claim to love Allâh, but when Allâh tests them with hardship, they forget the true essence of love. No-one can adhere to the love of Allâh except those who are patient and persevering (as-sâbirűn). If it were not for the test of hardship and sincerity, there would be no proof of the sincerity of a person’s love of Allâh. The one whose love of Allâh is greater, has a greater degree of patience.
Therefore, Allâh has attributed the quality of patience to His close friends (awliyâ) and most beloved. He said about His beloved slave Ayyűb (AS):
“…Truly We found him full of patience and constancy. How excellent in Our service! Ever did he turn (to Us)!” (Sâd 38:44)
Allâh instructed the most beloved to Him of everything He created to have patience in accepting His decree and told him that patience comes only by the help of Allâh. He praised those who have patience and promised them the best of rewards: the rewards of others are defined and limited, but the reward of as-sâbirűn is without measure. Patience is vital at all levels of Islâm, îmân and ihsân, as well as being a major element in îmân (faith) and tawakkul (putting one’s trust in Allâh).
Patience for the sake of Allâh, by the help of Allâh and in accepting the decree of Allâh
1. Patience for the sake of Allâh, hoping for His rewards and fearing His punishment.
2. Patience by the help of Allâh, as man realizes that he has no patience himself, and has no power to acquire patience. Rather, he knows: “there is no power and no strength except by (the help of) Allâh.”
3. Patience in accepting the decree of Allâh, as man realizes that Allâh is the only one Who is controlling the affairs of the universe, so he will patiently accept the ruling and decree of Allâh, regardless of what it may mean for him in the way of ease or hardship.
Patience for the sake of Allâh is of a higher degree than patience by the help of Allâh, as patience for the sake of Allâh is related to His being ilâh (god, object of worship), whilst patience by His help is related to His being rabb (lord, cherisher and sustainer). Whatever is connected to His being ilâh, such as patience for His sake, is worship, and as such is greater than whatever is connected to His being rabb, such as seeking His help in having patience. Worship is the ultimate goal, whereas seeking help is a means to an end. The goal is sought for its own sake, but means are sought for the sake of other things. Patience by His help is common to believers and unbelievers, good and bad, alike, while patience for His sake is the way of Messengers, Prophets and true believers. Patience for His sake is patience in matters that please Allâh, while patience by His help may apply to matters that please Him or displease Him.
Different degrees of patience
1.Patience both for the sake of Allâh and by the help of Allâh. A person will have patience by help of Allâh for the sake of Allâh, realizing that he has no power of his own whatsoever. This is the highest degree of patience.
2.Patience for the sake of Allâh but not by the help of Allâh. Such people may want to have patience for the sake of Allâh, but they are not actively seeking His help, and their trust and reliance ( tawakkul) is weak. Such people will have a good ending, but they are weak and cannot achieve most of what they want to achieve. This is the situation of a sincere but weak believer.
3.Patience by the help of Allâh. Such a person seeks Allâh’s help and puts his trust in Him, admitting that he has no power or strength whatsoever, but his patience is not for the sake of Allâh, as his patience is not for reasons of faith. This will achieve his aims, but his ending may be worst. An example of such people are the leaders of the kuffâr and the followers of the Shaytân, as their patience is by the help of Allâh, but is not for the sake of Allâh.
4.No kind of patience whatsoever. This is the lowest degree, and a person of this type deserves all sorts of failures.
Those who have patience for the sake of Allâh and by the help of Allâh are those who are strong and achieve much. Those who have patience for the sake of Allâh, but not for the sake of Allâh, are capable, but evil. Those who have neither patience for the sake of Allâh not by the help of Allâh, are good people, but weak and helpless. Those who have patience by the help of Allâh, but not for the sake of Allâh, are capable, but evil. Those who have neither patience for the sake of Allâh nor by the help of Allâh are doomed to failure.
Patience and Gratitude. By Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah. An abridgement of his original work entitled, “Uddat as-Sâbireen wa Dhâkirat by TaHa Publications
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