View Full Version : Wife beating verse [4:34] - quick and simple reply

10-09-2008, 03:09 PM
I disagree with using the word "beating" for this ayah ( 4:34 ).

The word "idribuhuna" does not mean to beat up the wife.
It means to hit her lightly (avoiding the face because hitting the face is forbeddin in Islam) a hitting that is ghayr mubarrih, which does not cause harm to the body, like bruising or breaking a bone.

Ata' said: "I asked Ibn Abbas: 'What is the hitting that is ghayr al-mubarrih?' He replied: '[With] the siwak and the like'." Narrated by al-Tabari in his Tafsir.


And this is the last resort for the husband.

You argue that if tafsir and understanding of Qur'an [according to the understanding of the companions is required for all other rules such as salah, hajj, and even fighting fi sabilillah, then so is it equally important to follow their interpretation of these matters - since they are also part of the Qur'an]

10-09-2008, 03:11 PM
Some people may be confused over this hadith;

Look at the following narration...

Saheeh Muslim
Book 004, Number 2127:

Muhammad b. Qais said (to the people): Should I not narrate to you (a hadith of the Holy Prophet) on my authority and on the authority of my mother? We thought that he meant the mother who had given him birth. He (Muhammad b. Qais) then reported that it was 'A'isha who had narrated this: Should I not narrate to you about myself and about the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him)? We said: Yes. She said: When it was my turn for Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) to spend the night with me, he turned his side, put on his mantle and took off his shoes and placed them near his feet, and spread the corner of his shawl on his bed and then lay down till he thought that I had gone to sleep. He took hold of his mantle slowly and put on the shoes slowly, and opened the door and went out and then closed it lightly. I covered my head, put on my veil and tightened my waist wrapper, and then went out following his steps till he reached Baqi'. He stood there and he stood for a long time. He then lifted his hands three times, and then returned and I also returned. He hastened his steps and I also hastened my steps. He ran and I too ran. He came (to the house) and I also came (to the house). I, however, preceded him and I entered (the house), and as I lay down in the bed, he (the Holy Prophet) entered the (house), and said: Why is it, O 'A'isha, that you are out of breath? I said: There is nothing. He said: Tell me or the Subtle and the Aware would inform me. I said: Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be ransom for you, and then I told him (the whole story). He said: Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me? I said: Yes. He struck me on the chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you? She said: Whatsoever the people conceal, Allah will know it. He said: Gabriel came to me when you saw me. He called me and he concealed it from you. I responded to his call, but I too concealed it from you (for he did not come to you), as you were not fully dressed. I thought that you had gone to sleep, and I did not like to awaken you, fearing that you may be frightened. He (Gabriel) said: Your Lord has commanded you to go to the inhabitants of Baqi' (to those lying in the graves) and beg pardon for them. I said: Messenger of Allah, how should I pray for them (How should I beg forgiveness for them)? He said: Say, Peace be upon the inhabitants of this city (graveyard) from among the Believers and the Muslims, and may Allah have mercy on those who have gone ahead of us, and those who come later on, and we shall, God willing, join you.

Can someone explain this to me please?

The arabic word, which has been used in the hadith is " لهدني ". this is a word which means pushing with a full hand.

(broken down in single letters " له د ن ي " ) [lahdany?]

keep in mind, this is a type of teaching not harming so it is not considered as hitting as it is precieved in accordance with nowadays people understanding.

wallahu A'lam

10-09-2008, 03:11 PM
The following hadith comes directly from Aisha herself when she refutes those who say that the Messenger of Allah hit her (in the above mentioned hadith):

`A'ishah said,"The Messenger of Allah never struck a servant of his with his hand, nor did he ever hit a woman. He never hit anything with his hand, except for when he was fighting Jihad in the cause of Allah. And he was never given the option between two things except that the most beloved of the two to him was the easiest of them, as long as it did not involve sin. If it did involve sin, then he stayed farther away from sin than any of the people. He would not avenge himself concerning anything that was done to him, except if the limits of Allah were transgressed. Then, in that case he would avenge for the sake of Allah.'' Imam Ahmad also recorded from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah said,

«إِنَّمَا بُعِثْتُ لِأُتَمِّمَ صَالِحَ الْأَخْلَاق»

(I have only been sent to perfect righteous behavior.)

Tafsir ibn Kathir - Surah Qalam (68)
http://tafsir.com/default.asp?sid=68&tid=54734 (http://tafsir.com/default.asp?sid=68&tid=54734)

10-09-2008, 03:13 PM
asalaam alaikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh

It is also important to note that the woman that is hit lightly is not just a woman who does not cook or clean etc. It is concerning a wife who is lewd or doing unislamic acts (wearing halter top showing some cleavage infront of stranger guys) etc.. And it goes in steps. First admonishing her (advising her) second forsake her in bed (dontsleep with her so she knows that you are serious and that she needs Islah or reformation) and then a final stop to hit her lightly in a way that doesnt leave a mark!

might wna put this in support of womens' rights aswell:

It is reported that a man came to 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab raa to complain about his wife's ill-temper. While he was waiting for 'Umar to come out of his house, he heard 'Umar's wife scolding him and 'Umar quietly listening to her, and not answering her back. The man turned around and started walking away, muttering to himself: "If that is the case with 'Umar, the leader of the believers, who is famous for his uprighteness and toughness, then what about poor me?!" At that moment, 'Umar came out of his house and saw the man walking away. He called him and said, "What is it you want of me, O man?" The man replied: "O leader of the believers, I came to complain to you about my wife's bad-temper and how she nags me. Then I heard your wife doing the same to you, so I turned around, muttering to myself, 'If that is the situation of the leader of the believers, then what about me?'" 'Umar replied, "O my brother, I bear with her because of her rights over me. She cooks my food, bakes my bread, washes my clothes, breast-feeds my child...and yet none of these are her duty;* and then she is a comfort to my heart and keeps me away from forbidden deeds. Consequently, I bear with her." The man said, "It is the same with me, O leader of the believers." 'Umar said: "Then, O my brother, be patient with her, indeed this life is short. (Adh-Dhahabi, [i]Al-Kabā'ir 194)

The last hadith about 'Umar is a beautiful example of the lofty status that Islam has given women. The Khalifa himself used to listen patiently while his wife scolded him and he instructed his followers to likewise be patient and grateful for all the favours their wives gave them. Dr. M. Moinuddin Siddiqui, who has translated Al-Kabā'ir into english, includes the following footnote in the place I have marked above with an asterisk

:According to the Shari'ah, a Muslim wife has no obligation to do all this; rather, it is the husband's obligation to take care of it [either himself or] by hiring a servant (or even, in the case of breast-feeding, a wet-nurse). Therefore, if a woman does this, it is out of good-will and compliance on her part, not because it is obligatory on her, and consequently it is a cause for appreciation and helpfulness on the part of her husband. (Translator)

10-12-2008, 01:24 PM
asalaam alaikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh

You can cause major pain with a siwak, and serious bruises (leaving marks for up to a week), though breaking bones might be difficult.
But islam does not permit that he bruise her. So whoever did that, they did the wrong thing.

Besides, there is no law even in 'civilised' Europe, which forbids a man from touching or tapping a woman with a pen, and if she took it to court - i don't think she'd win the case. However, if he bruised her with a pen - then he may have gone past the limit [and he will have done so in Islam]. And he can be taken to court so the woman can get justice.( i.e. similar recompense for any harm done.)

By him using the miswak;

It could be an implication for her that this is his last step, and that if she persists in wrong doing, then he may divorce her or separate with her. Why will she think that he's implying this by the use of a stick? Because she will also know that this is the last step mentioned in the Qur'an.

Imagine traffic lights, red is the first step, amber is the second, and tapping with the siwak is the 3rd. If he reaches the third step, she'll be aware that if she doesn't stop - he will move forward (i.e. maybe in divorce.)