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aaa
11-03-2008, 10:02 PM
I found this post on one of the forums, and that it would bring benafit for many of us.

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Love before marriage can be complicated to say the least. Most of us will have someone we like for marriage. We often notice that person and the little things they do, and we say to ourselves” Hey, I’d like to marry that person”. The problem is that we’ve been too influenced by our society. TV., movies cause us to feel a void in our lives. So we create this imaginary “Romeo and Juliet” –type scenario to fill it. One will find themselves in a flux between reality and fiction. Surprisingly, even we macho brothers do it sometimes (Though we’ll never dare tell anyone). Often times one will think that they’re in love with someone, but in reality, they’re just in love with the idea of loving someone. TV. and movies are all make-believe. The scenarios they portray about love can’t be plugged into real-life situations. So as Muslims we should remain pragmatic and not let our emotions get the best of us. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to like or even love someone before marriage; Marriages don’t have to be 100% arranged. It’s good to like a person before you marry them, granted you don’t transcend the limits set by Allah (SWT). The Prophet (SAW) acknowledged that two people who aren’t married can fall in love. He (SAW) once said: “The best thing to do for two people who are in love, is to get married.”

Just don’t get too attached to the idea of a particular person because a lot of times it doesn’t work out, and could lead to heartache. And it’s usually for naught, considering that you wouldn’t really know that person unless you were married to them; and, also considering that marriage is predestined anyway. Remember, the goal is marriage, not the person. If you find that you’re constantly thinking about someone- and just absolutely have to marry them- you‘re probably in the area of extreme love.

Since haraam types of love can be out of our control, they won’t necessarily earn us a sin; we earn a sin if we act on those feelings. But the matter can get more serious than just earning a sin. Loving haraam things can eventually lead to us negating our emaan.

sireen
11-04-2008, 06:45 PM
I was having a discussion with a few sisters about this very topic a few days ago...
You might want to google: "Be Easy With The Lovers"...for a very interesting read and amazing poetry for Arabic poetry fans!

Verb
11-04-2008, 07:15 PM
Jazak-Allah for posting.......
I love reading about this kind of stuff because Islam is often portrayed as a loveless religion, which it’s not. Islam is quite the opposite. It is full of the right kind of love.

AkheeAB
11-05-2008, 09:07 AM
Islam and Love





By Abdullah Nasih 'Ulwan

This book represents a concise review of Islam's viewpoint toward love. It explains the following questions that Muslims often ask: What is love?, Does Islam acknowledge this phenomenon called love?, What is the wisdom behind this phenomenon?, What are the various classifications of love? Which type of love is the most sacred in Islam? What is the Islamic stance toward Uzri or chaste love and flirting? These questions will be answered in detail in the pages of the book, without any confusion or ambiguity. Note: The translator made a mistake on page 124 when he said 'A muslim who follows the way of adultery and fornication is not a Muslim whether he fasts and prays', however this should read 'if he believes these actions to be halal then he is not a Muslim'.

Khadija Yousfi
11-19-2008, 06:14 PM
salam, i saw this story nd thought it would be nice to share...

On the authority of al-Asma‘ī, that he said, “I was once walking in the village when I came across a stone. Someone had written on it:


أيا معشر العشاق بالله خبروا **** إذا حل عشق بالفتى كيف يصنع
O lovers! By Allah, tell me!
If a young man is overcome by love, what should he do?

So I wrote underneath it:


يداوي هواه ثم يكتم سره **** ويخشع في كل الأمور ويخضع
Let him treat his desire, then conceal his secret
And humble himself in every matter and submit (before his Lord)

I returned the next day and I found written underneath it:


فكيف يداوي والهوى قاتل الفتى **** وفي كل يوم قلبه يتقطع
But how can it be treated when that desire fights the man
And every day his heart is torn to pieces?!

So I wrote underneath it:


إذا لم يجد صبراً لكتمان سره **** فليس له شيء سوى الموت أنفع
If he is unable to be patient with concealing his secret
Then there is nothing for him except death that will benefit!

I then returned on the third day to find a young man lying dead at the stone. I said, ‘Lā hawla wa lā quwwata illā billāhil-‘Alī’l-‘Adhīm!’ and found that he had written before his death:


سمعنا , أطعنا , ثم متنا فبلغوا **** سلامي إلى من كان للوصل يمنع
We have heard and we have obeyed; now we have died so tell everyone
My salām to the one who prevented me from attaining her.

(Narrated by al-Abshīhī in al-Mustatrif, 1/410)

Sally Mahmoud
11-28-2008, 08:41 AM
salam, i saw this story nd thought it would be nice to share...

On the authority of al-Asma‘ī, that he said, “I was once walking in the village when I came across a stone. Someone had written on it:


أيا معشر العشاق بالله خبروا **** إذا حل عشق بالفتى كيف يصنع
O lovers! By Allah, tell me!
If a young man is overcome by love, what should he do?

So I wrote underneath it:


يداوي هواه ثم يكتم سره **** ويخشع في كل الأمور ويخضع
Let him treat his desire, then conceal his secret
And humble himself in every matter and submit (before his Lord)

I returned the next day and I found written underneath it:


فكيف يداوي والهوى قاتل الفتى **** وفي كل يوم قلبه يتقطع
But how can it be treated when that desire fights the man
And every day his heart is torn to pieces?!

So I wrote underneath it:


إذا لم يجد صبراً لكتمان سره **** فليس له شيء سوى الموت أنفع
If he is unable to be patient with concealing his secret
Then there is nothing for him except death that will benefit!

I then returned on the third day to find a young man lying dead at the stone. I said, ‘Lā hawla wa lā quwwata illā billāhil-‘Alī’l-‘Adhīm!’ and found that he had written before his death:


سمعنا , أطعنا , ثم متنا فبلغوا **** سلامي إلى من كان للوصل يمنع
We have heard and we have obeyed; now we have died so tell everyone
My salām to the one who prevented me from attaining her.

(Narrated by al-Abshīhī in al-Mustatrif, 1/410)

wow!! this really happened? it's like the halaal (but not really bc of the suicide part) romeo and juliet!!

Faizan
12-18-2008, 05:30 PM
What's wrong with heartache? Everyday we feel pain and we are afraid of heart ache? Honestly, if you can refute the fact that Ali (rA) was in love with Fatima(rA) before he was married to her then I will accept all this "reflection" from people that came after.

Just trust Allah, Both the guy and the girl(even if you think he will be rejected) and see if it will work out. The guy should go and propose. The girl should make a case for him. If then after the camel has been tied and it didn't work out... then alhumdulillah we may suffer some pain but we shall live on insha'Allah.