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tantheman01
02-24-2009, 02:38 PM
I am a virgin looking to marry a convert soon. Unfortunately I am having troubles accepting that she is a non virgin. I feel that it is unfair how I grew up pure and wanting to marry someone pure like myself and then... actually finding that someone to be a non virgin. I don't know how to deal with this. Someone give me advices? Would you marry a Non-virgin?

Adib Contractor
02-24-2009, 02:40 PM
When she converted, she was forgiven all of her sins... how can you be purer than that?

ilmseeker
02-24-2009, 02:50 PM
^Physical purity, and this is something of personal preference, some people are uncomfortable in this situation so they should think about it before they move forward as it might affect the relationship later on I think, wAllahu Alam.

Sr.Sara
02-24-2009, 03:11 PM
Would you marry a Non-virgin?

We shouldn't care who on these forums would or would not, we have the best of examples and he, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam did...

However, I agree with ilmseeker.
And if it's going to be an issue for you, then don't marry a non-Virgin.
Don't put her or yourself through the trouble.

Wa Allahu A'lam

Ibnu Ismail
02-24-2009, 04:45 PM
Ultimately the choice is yours.

Consider the following in making your decision:

1. The Prophet did not have an issue with marrying someone who had been married before to someone else.

2. Islam wipes out any sins committed before it. (innal Islam yahdimu ma kaana qablahu)

3.How big is this issue for you? is it something that you will constantly be reminded of? or is this just somewhat of a phase that you will get over soon?

4. Purity comes in several forms and so do sins. Magnify the good , the bad will look trivial.

5. Make Istikhara before you go any further in your decision.

May Allah make it easy for you.

Ifteen
02-24-2009, 06:17 PM
We shouldn't care who on these forums would or would not, we have the best of examples and he, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam did...

Wa Allahu A'lam
Jazakallah khair Ukhti for saying this...

faiso
02-24-2009, 07:49 PM
I am a virgin looking to marry a convert soon. Unfortunately I am having troubles accepting that she is a non virgin. I feel that it is unfair how I grew up pure and wanting to marry someone pure like myself and then... actually finding that someone to be a non virgin. I don't know how to deal with this. Someone give me advices? Would you marry a Non-virgin?

Assalamualaykum warahmatullah,



Brother I have to say that it takes lots of guts to put your life in our hands so I will try like everyone else did to advice you for the best if I am not too late.

I believe that if you want to marry a convert than you should have these skills


Are you a patient person? Because with out it than a relationship that started with doubts canít progress, I believe in.
Are you some one who is religious or known to be some what religious? Because if you are not than you must deal with the problems she might have in the future, if she does. Allaahu alam.
Lastly can you put her past behind her because Allah has forgiven her? Do you think you can?


GOOD LUCK BROTHER ^_^





Jazakallahu khair.

Mansoor
02-24-2009, 07:49 PM
Subhaan Allah.. If I were you I wouldnt ask such a question in public. Its like a humiliation to the sister. May Allah raise her status in Jannah for being wronged this way.

Mansoor
02-24-2009, 07:59 PM
and as everyone else said, please dont marry her if you cant get over this feeling, which obviously you are having hard time doing so.

Generous_1
02-24-2009, 10:44 PM
Allah says in the Qur'an wa huruma thalika 3lal mu'mineen, that it is forbidden for a believer to marry someone who has been unchaste or had relations before marriage. I listened to a knowledgeable sheikh talk about this matter before and he actually emphasized that if the person in question is a repenter, some scholars hold the view he or she should also get with someone who repented from the same sin and not someone chaste.To say that it is a personal preference is making light of what God revealed and we should be careful of giving our opinions as they are misleading. I can however see how it is easy to come up with such conclusions considering the times and places we live in. And as a future reference the prophet married women who have been lawfully married before. Tanman101, I would say because in your case the woman is a revert, and god forgives everything that went before it, you should not be as upset. Talk to someone knowledgeable and upright and get their verdict.

Naima Abdulkadir
02-24-2009, 11:04 PM
Allah says in the Qur'an wa huruma thalika 3lal mu'mineen, that it is forbidden for a believer to marry someone who has been unchaste or had relations before marriage. I listened to a knowledgeable sheikh talk about this matter before and he actually emphasized that if the person in question is a repenter, some scholars hold the view he or she should also get with someone who repented from the same sin and not someone chaste.To say that it is a personal preference is making light of what God revealed and we should be careful of giving our opinions as they are misleading. I can however see how it is easy to come up with such conclusions considering the times and places we live in. And as a future reference the prophet married women who have been lawfully married before. Tanman101, I would say because in your case the woman is a revert, and god forgives everything that went before it, you should not be as upset. Talk to someone knowledgeable and upright and get their verdict.

Let me get this straight, you're saying if we commit a sin, no matter what the sin is, we should look for someone who has committed that sin as well? If this was the case, then many people shouldn't even marry.

We should really be very careful with our statements out of ignorance, we may be misinterpreting some things

Ifteen
02-24-2009, 11:14 PM
This threads a watermelon! MODS.....