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sister islam
03-16-2009, 02:42 AM
I often get alot of sisters who complain about their husbands (sometimes 4 good reasons, sometimes not), anyway, I was just wondering what is a good muslima supposed to do about it.....

should I tell them nicely to stop coz it's haram to backbite. or
should I listen patiently then try to make her see that she's wrong and advise her 2 b patient and give her whatever else advice may b needed, or
should I just cut off contact with the sister until she stops backbiting?

shukran

FarhanaK
03-20-2009, 10:45 PM
I think you should tell them to stop backbiting and that it is haram. Tell them the hadith where the prophet(s) said most women will be in hell because they were ungrateful to their husbands, and the numerous hadith about backbiting. Most of the time they do it for fun or they don't have anything better to do.

Asmaa Abdul Hameed
03-20-2009, 11:21 PM
whenever the sisters start backbiting just ignore what they say and give a stern look; if that doesn't stop them then tell them straight away that they are not supposed to backbite about their husbands

a2z
03-20-2009, 11:37 PM
Asalamualaikum

can we please define or give examples of what would be considered to be 'back biting' in reference to spouses? Some might seek consultation amongst their friends, so that may not necessarily be considered back biting...can we elaborate on this?

bint_habibullah
03-21-2009, 04:32 PM
I don't know about husbands in particular, but in general terms of backbiting its something that is true about the person, and the person dislikes that others to know. It doesn't necessarily mean that what's not to be told is a bad thing, it's just something the individual doesn't want others to know.

Examples:

Husband is getting a job interview for a company, not sure if he's going to land the job, doesn't want anyone to know in case he doesn't get the job, and the wife tells her whole family, in-laws & friends without his knowledge.

A person fasts a lot, and likes to keep it a secret, and his family brags about how "good" their son is.

As for sincerely wanting advice, if she asks for advice, then that's when you know she really wants it. Also, if she wants advice, it would be preferable to ask someone who has a bit of wisdom on the matter, not just anyone, even if she may be your friend. If she doesn't ask for what she should do and is just complaining about him, then that's when it's backbiting. This is a very serious matter, and we should be careful with it, not only with husbands, but everyone - parents, siblings, friends, acquaintences, etc.