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Umm Amani
09-05-2004, 03:20 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

My 6yr old daughter started off in islamic nursery/school then we put her in state school and insha'allah Tuesday will be her 1st day back at Islamic school. I would definately choose Islamic schools from now onwards insha'allah.

State schools have got far too much fitna in them even for the younger children. I would love to be able to home school my children but I am not organised or disciplined enough for that unfortunately. So that leaves islamic schools. We should all contribute to help improve our local islamic schools.

Wassalam

Hidaayah
09-05-2004, 09:11 PM
as salaamu `alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Its home schooling for my daughter. I have yet to find a really good place for her schooling and for now I really believe this is the best alternative. She is about 3 and I intend to homeschool for as long as necessary in shaa Allah.

Abu Hurayrah
09-06-2004, 12:35 AM
I'm assuming you are in the United States, and if I ever had children, I would most definitely keep them at home as much as possible.

Having gone through the public school system here in the US, I ask Allaah (SWT) to never allow my children in such an environment. When one is so young and impressionable, what is right and wrong can frequently be flipped, and it can be difficult to undo the damage. I have been out of public school for almost 6 years now, and I still feel the repercussions of that horrible experience...

How it is in other countries, I wouldn't know - it might be that Islaamic school is a truly viable option. However, the Islaamic schools in my area are short on the Islaamic environment, sadly - boys and girls mix freely, and even flirt with each other in the hallways! I was shocked when I saw it myself...: (

AbuIlyaas
09-06-2004, 02:18 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

My 6yr old daughter started off in islamic nursery/school then we put her in state school and insha'allah Tuesday will be her 1st day back at Islamic school. I would definately choose Islamic schools from now onwards insha'allah.

State schools have got far too much fitna in them even for the younger children. I would love to be able to home school my children but I am not organised or disciplined enough for that unfortunately. So that leaves islamic schools. We should all contribute to help improve our local islamic schools.

Wassalam

Which school in luton are you sending her to because I'm kind of half thinking of moving to the area but would like to know more about the strength of the Islamic community there first?

Umm Amani
09-06-2004, 03:50 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

Masha'allah, there is a large muslim community here in Luton but as with all communities it has its good points and bad points. We are not as united as we could be but that probably goes for all muslim communities.

My daughter will insha'allah be going to Madrassa Islamia Primary School which is based at the Salafi Islamic Centre in Luton. Go

There are a few more islamic schools in Luton. Ash-Shams, an all girls school from Yr3-Yr7, Rabia Girls and Boys School from Yr1-Yr6 and apparently 2 new secondary boys schools have opened this September.

There are alot of activities going on for sisters and kids such as sports evenings, summer scheme, summer trips, swimming lessons, after school clubs, workshops, etc etc.

Anyway hope that helps.

Wassalam

UmmZakariah
09-06-2004, 04:34 PM
assallamu alaikum,
I am strongly thinking of homeschooling my kids. I don't have much faith in the education system here. Plus I feel that given the right guidance myself I can teach my children much more than what they would learn in school, and keeping them at home will mean that inshaAllah I will have more controll over their islamic education and who they mix with.
UmZ

UmmTayyab
09-06-2004, 09:22 PM
I have my son in Islamic School, and other than homeschooling (which is a tremendous commitment) there is no alternative. Public school here in Ontario is now so full of fitna that school boards are now changing their curriculum to be "inclusive" to the homosexual community, by destroying any material that is "homophobic", threatening expulsion and legal charges to any student who expresses any "homophobic" statement (which includes such statements like, homosexuality is a sin), and must meet guidelines regarding artwork in the public schools to reflect this inclusiveness on the school walls, so last year, our local highschool was plastered with posters of two teen boys necking (kissing passionately) to promote "Take a vow of Silence Week" where teens taped their mouths shut with duct tape to protest homophobic speech.

Now there is a sexual manual being offered to 10 yr olds and older in the schools, a supposed "educational pamphlet" that is more of a "how to". They already teach grade 8 students in a mixed class (both boys and girls) how to put on a condom by using a rubber erect male organ on the teacher's desk. How many muslim girls are so humiliated when their teachers INSIST they take a couple of free condoms. I dread to think how many forget to throw them away and their mother or father finds them!

Between Christmas, Halloween and Valentines Day, Homosexuality, Promiscuity, Swearing, calling Children's Aid on your parents, free condoms and abortions, raves, and don't even get me started on the growing popularity of oral *** with young teens, at school or after school, they even have new bracelets for sex games, different colors for different acts, if the guy rips one off, she responds according to what color he got, (12 yr olds!!!)

THIS is what our kids have to wade through everyday, along with the bullying and the teasing cause they're different. Whether it is their clothes, accents or just their modesty, they are prime meat in the school yard or gym.

Hidaayah
09-06-2004, 10:22 PM
My brothers and I were all homeschooled. I plan to do the same with my daughter InshaAllaah.

There's no way I would ever put her into a public school. I'd consider an Islamic school but I'd be more comfortable having her at home -- I'd be able to control what she learns, who she plays with, etc...

as salaamu `alaykum...

This is inspiring ma shaa Allah... I love hearing about homeschool experiences!

~Oum AbdurRahman~
09-07-2004, 01:33 AM
As-salamoualaikoum,

How repulsive and disgusting (to Umm Tayyab's story) that this is what is happening . It's like it gets worse and worse .

I am personally hoping to either send my son to Qur'an memorization school and an Islamic School insha'Allah. It's still yet waaay down the road (He's only 14 months old :) ilhamdulilah).
Insha'Allah Ta'ala. Bi'idnillah.

bintMunir
09-07-2004, 07:34 AM
Assalamu3alaikum.

If all three options were available, I would definitely choose Islamic School. I know that Islamic schools have their problems but I went to one from 5th grade up. From that I know that regardless of how good or bad the school is and the students, it really depends on who the child befriends in specific.

Anyway, the reason I think Islaamic School is better than home schooling (if its a good islamic school.. even if its not GREAT. As long as its decent in its islaamic environment..) even if you then have to work with them at home.. because children need to have friends their age. They need to see peers doing what they are doing. ESPECIALLY the boys, need to get out of the house.

I LOVE my family and alhumdulilah they are religious, but I would not have been where I am today (I think) if I was home schooled. Even if I home schooled myself in high school.. still. Because many people who influenced my life so much were teachers I had in my last years of high school. Even if you think that the teachers there are not who you'd like your children to learn from.. some teachers that I learned a lot from.. everyone respects a lot, but not everyone would consider them "strict".

I think a lot of times parents cannot offer certain skills or knowledge to their children themselves, and its okay to seek help in this. If I cannot teach my child Arabic or something, I should seek out someone who CAN do this very well.

Of course in the end we all have to see what we can afford and what our resources are, and what things are like around where we live. Some sisters do group home schooling which sounds awesome to me. You get with a few sisters you trust.. and you split up the teaching.. do things together. The children get to be with children and it seems cool.

I am soooooo against public schooling. I actually did an essay on the purposes of public schooling...

For those interested, the 3 main purposes of public schooling were political, social and economic. Let me explain what each of those mean.

Political purpose was to groom children from a young age to become "citizens". Basically not to rebel against the government.

Social reason was for the society to stay the way it is. Children grow up knowing the norms and ALSO for the school to teach children social issues that parents do not. Actually if u look around, this is huge right now. Arguments about whether schools should be teaching students morals? The whole thing about homosexuality and sex ed. Some say that SCHOOLS should teach all these concepts.

And lastly economic purpose is for the schools to produce the laborers they need. See because the schooling system, altho free, is very faulty. The rich people go to rich public schools and get a totally different education than the poor people who go to the poor public schools. The ones from a poor public education usually are the laborers while the rich public school children (who i believe made up 1 % of the population? not the children but those adults) are on top.

It is actually quite scary and sad if u read about it. If anyone is interested I can post my essay that references some articles we read about this.

And with this my dad told me a poem in urdu that was like wow. Translated it is.. "Pharoah had the title of a murderer.. it is unfortunate that he did not think of opening a college."

If you didn't get it it means.. Fir3awn killed every baby boy that was born.. so someone wrote a poem saying, he probably regrets his decision and he was unfortunate that he didn't think of opening up colleges instead (since you control the school and decide what they learn.. thus he could have had all those people in his favor instead..) of course this is just a poem but think about it its amazing.

Abu Hurayrah
09-07-2004, 08:15 AM
Allaahu Akbar!!! I have been out of high school for only what seems like a few years, and I can't believe what new things are being introduced to the kids...

Subhaan Allaah...if the state of the children of a nation is like this, what about the state of the nation itself? Can you imagine where it is headed, as a whole?!?!

~Oum AbdurRahman~
09-07-2004, 10:18 AM
As-salamoulaaikoum,
SubhanAllah, it like confirms the hadeeth about the end of the times. Corruption, zina, all the filth of society just comming to a peek. And it's happening fast too. Just in less than half a century! Look at the way things were (Culturally) in the beginning of 1900's, to the end of the year 2000--- look at the advancement of corruption. EstaghfirAllah. May Allah keep us and our children safe ya Rabb from all this. It's as if the Dajjal is peaking around the corner.

Olivia
09-13-2004, 02:02 PM
ABPS-anything but public schools :D

(i also wouldn't do kaffir private schools)

i'd do either islamic or home schooling. problem is we don't have an islamic school in the area.

my problem with public schooling is that i feel like they start idoctrinating children from a very young age with "american ideals" and what not. also, socialization begins at a young age.

the real danger comes in during the middle school years an onward. peer pressure has such an influence on kids.

i've seen muslim kids get destroyed by public schools, which is why i'm really against them.

alexandalus
09-13-2004, 03:12 PM
salam,
John Taylor Gatto and Sidi Hamza Yusuf have got it right.
i actually find that the biggest problem with public schools (and all those "islamic" schools modeled after that system) is that they are designed to produce workers and followers, NOT leaders. i would be remiss in my duties as a parent of i subjected my children to a curriculum where discipline and blind obdience to "authority figures' takes precedence over actual learning. i am sure most muslim parents are more than capable of teaching their children proper adab without the pre-workplace accouterments of standing in single file lines, responding to bells and asking for hall passes to use the lavatory (or whatever else they're doing these days).
social-control is not synonymous with education; it is actually the opposite.
but don't take my word for it, ask for a parent's tour at one of the better private academies where the children of the rich and powerful are educated and you'll see for yourself. in the meantime here is a brief excerpt from the exeter academy website:
The Harkness Table


On April 9, 1930, philanthropist Edward Harkness wrote to Exeter's Principal Lewis Perry regarding a substantial monetary gift he had made to the Academy and how he hoped it might be used: "What I have in mind is [a classroom] where [students] could sit around a table with a teacher who would talk with them and instruct them by a sort of tutorial or conference method, where [each student] would feel encouraged to speak up. This would be a real revolution in methods."

Since the arrival of 'Harkness tables' on campus, the principal mode of instruction at Exeter has been discussion around an oval table. The Harkness table is central to both the Exeter classroom and the Exeter curriculum. Though teaching and learning look different in different disciplines and at different levels of study, all Exeter teachers and students are committed to an ideal of active, participatory, student-centered learning which values teaching students not just a given course's content but the skills required to become their own and each others' teachers. As the physical table itself implies, learning at Exeter is a cooperative enterprise in which the students and teacher work together as partners.

The academic life of the school depends upon the quality of each student's preparation for active participation in learning. As one of the schools legendary teachers said, "What happens in class depends upon what the students have done before the class begins." A place at the Harkness table requires students to exercise a high degree of self-discipline, and to engage eagerly and energetically with both peers and instructors. Exeter is a school for students who take pleasure in this distinctive mode of teaching and learning in which each member of each class is in some measure a teacher of all the others.
sounds fairly different from how you were taught, doesn't it?

UmmIbnee
09-14-2004, 09:07 AM
As salaamu alaikum

UmmSofiane..sorry to interrupt...do u go on mc aswell? There was someone there who i always happened to agree with and its happening again..was it u?

Olivia
09-14-2004, 08:50 PM
Salaam aleikum

I think this depends TOTALLY on the parents. If we as parents dont let ourselves fall to the idea that the school is there to raise our kids, like some people tend to do, then most likely they will come out all right. If we see the school as the place our kids will be raised, we have a problem. WE must raise our kids, learn them islam, and correct behaviour, by setting an example. And NOT depend on school etc to do that!

i agree to a certain extent-some kids do come out of public schools alright b/c there parents gave them a strong Islamic upbringing.

but sadly most of the kids i know who got involved in a lot of haraam activities came from practicing Muslim families. so for myself, based on my own personal experiences and interactions with such Muslims (I was close with many of them and their families as i reverted in highschool), i find it to be too risky.

just my personal opinion tho. i'm not trying to say that everyone who goes to public school is doomed.

but i do recommend that everyone listen to Sheikh Muhammad's lecture on Islamic Schools for more input.

EnLightened
11-13-2004, 12:09 AM
salamz... i started goin to an islamic school from 6th grade and am still continuing through highschool.... i love it. people say islamic schools differ school to school.. you'll find both very islamic ones and shady ones.. but what pple don't realize that it also depends on the batch of children.. the student's peers make a big difference especially seeing that the classes aren't too big to start out with. alhamulillah i got a class that has a majority of religious girls, but some of the other classes weren't as blessed.

but personally i'd start my kids off with homeschool so they could do hafiz classes and then later put them in islamic schools.

willow
11-29-2004, 03:35 AM
Originally I was very much for 'home' schooling. But I think it very much depends on the situation, the ability of the mother/father, the support from the 'other' parent. In one situation i have seen the father refuses to have his children attend an Islamic school and wants his children to be home educated, but is not helping much and the mother is struggling to cope.

It also may depend on other support available, ie from other brothers and sisters relatives etc.

Something that i think needs to be considered are social skills etc.

Sometimes it may be that the children are together for so long with each other and their mum it leads them to have more behaviour problems and fighting amongst siblings.

Another thing that often goes ignored or is just overlooked is any 'special needs' a child may have.

Personally i feel my going to a public school benefited me a lot, but times are changing and public schools are getting worse, as is society. In this day and age i would rather my children at home than send them to a public school if i couldn't afford Islamic schooling.

Having said that though i know a sister who's children are in a public school and Alhamdulillah she seems to be balancing their education and Islamic upbringing quite well and is teaching them to give dawa. May The help of Allah be with us all. Ameen.

Umm Shura7beel
11-29-2004, 04:53 AM
I think it just depends on the each individual situation ...

I did home schooling for a period of time and then went to a Islaamic school. But the change for me was a big jump, and I found it pretty hard. But neverthless Islaamic schools are not brilliant at all (well it depends which area it is in etc and the gang of friends you get into ), but I felt as if no one wanted to be good muslims, everyone just chatted about TV music etc etc etc, but then again all the Muslims are changing, so how can we expect the kids to be good practicing Muslims? wallahu a'alm ...

but I have to say that the parent's upbringing will play a big part in the future of the child, so everyone should concentrate on that inshaaAllaah

UmmZakariah
11-29-2004, 06:00 PM
assallamu alaikum,
U can teach your kids all you want about islam at home,but once they go outside that door....i'll let you finish that sentence off yourself! And it doesnt matter if they go to islamic school. Remember, not all parents are on the same islamic wavelength as you are. Its food for thought. Be careful about your kids. They take in so much at such a young age. You think they dont notice things, or dont pick up ideas. Well they do, and you dont find that out till its too late.

UmZ

~Oum AbdurRahman~
11-29-2004, 08:29 PM
As-salaamouaikoum,

After reading all these posts, I'm starting to lean more towards homeschooling. I know a little three year old who came home saying all kinds of little bad words to his parents(from another kid).

SubhanAllah. And that's a toddler,from an islamic preschool.

So I'm leaning more towards homeschooling.....because even the Muslims now days aren't all on the same islamic schooling wavelength like UmmZakariya said. And in our area, many teachers aren't even qualified to be teaching. Especially Arabic and Qur'an. So I think I will stick to homeschooling unless Allah wills otherwise, insha'Allah.

Umm Musab
11-29-2004, 11:29 PM
there are a lot of good islamic schools here in the uae, MASHA ALLAH...you just need to know which school to go to to avoid fitnah...but we have the best shuyooks here, masha Allah

Faizan
11-29-2004, 11:30 PM
i would recommend if your child is young then islamic schools but i do not recommend her high school years to be at islamic school because really its even worse then publics schools... i used to go to public school in ohio then i moved to houston and went to a islamic school for a year... and the fitna there was even worse... atleast at the public school i was so different then the normal people there that no one was interested in me and really vice versa... but at the islamic school it was no big deal that a brother liked a sister and they would go and meet out in the hallwayz during class and Allah hualim what happened out there but islamic schools are not as good as they seem they are actually worse if your children are in that stage of life... and i looked at public school as a challenge to myself to see if i could face all that fitna and haraam and still come up on top and alhumdullillah me and my friends have succeeded but unfortunately there are some who havent both at public and islamic...so its very tricky ... good advice to a parent would be to be so much involved with their kids that they know their kids friends better then him... you really cant forget about your kids because thats when they forget about you and islam and Allah ...astigfirAllah... teach them what is right and wrong and iA they will succeed in any situation no matter how hard it is... unfortunately no matter how knowledgeable you are in islam as a kid if you are not guided by your parents you are going to get lost... as have many hafizes thati know have....plz dont be so naive to think your children are little angels... because they are only little angels if you keep them that way... if you neglect them then dont expect them to be that way... and really expect them to turn into sour apples

salam
banu semy represent

Faizan
11-29-2004, 11:36 PM
THIS is what our kids have to wade through everyday, along with the bullying and the teasing cause they're different. Whether it is their clothes, accents or just their modesty, they are prime meat in the school yard or gym.



your last paragraph protects your children from all the horrible acts you mentioned earlier... i dont think you see the whole picture.. that is the blessing by Allah that protected me and my friends through the years... being different only keeps us in isolation... and we're not really prime meat... i think thats a figment of people's imagination... every kid in high school gets picked on no matter how they look or what they say...

Faizan
11-29-2004, 11:38 PM
as salaamu `alaykum...

This is inspiring ma shaa Allah... I love hearing about homeschool experiences!


hehe at first i thought you said homosexual experiences... nevermind me im just a clown haha... i was never homeschooled though... im glad i wasnt because it limits your perspective off the world and sooner or later you will have to face it yourself... but the question is will you be ready to face it on your own when your parents are not their for you?

UmmZakariah
11-30-2004, 02:18 PM
... but the question is will you be ready to face it on your own when your parents are not their for you?

Yes, they will. Because they are being 'homeschooled' not imprisoned :). If one is going to do the homeschooling properly then the children will not lose out.
Also, if one can form a homeschool support network with like minded sisters, why not 'homeschool' together. We are trying to protect our children from becoming fuel for the hellfire. Let me ask. What will most mothers be doing all day when their kids are in school?? Its our duty as mothers to be the sole nurturers, cares, teachers etc.. of our kids!

UmZ

~Oum AbdurRahman~
11-30-2004, 03:25 PM
Yes, they will. Because they are being 'homeschooled' not imprisoned :). If one is going to do the homeschooling properly then the children will not lose out.
Also, if one can form a homeschool support network with like minded sisters, why not 'homeschool' together. We are trying to protect our children from becoming fuel for the hellfire. Let me ask. What will most mothers be doing all day when their kids are in school?? Its our duty as mothers to be the sole nurturers, cares, teachers etc.. of our kids!

UmZ

As-salaamoulaikoum,

I honestly couldn't agree with you more sister.

UmmZakariah
12-01-2004, 09:29 AM
Doc2be you make valid points re the mothers education, but she can and HAS TO educate herself for the sake of the family. She will learn with her kids, but will always have to be 3 steps ahead. So for my own personal opinion. There is no excuse for a woman not to homeschool.
I know some people HAVE TO work, they have no other way of supporting themselves, but if someone is working just for the sake of it, well I say give it up...your kids are more important.

I'd like to quote Sh. Muhammad:

Dear brothers and sisters, how often is it that a farmer plants wheat and it comes out as a sunflower? You may say, never! For how can someone farm the seed of one plant and expect some other plant to grow. It just does not happen. Similarly, some parents leave their children waddling in the mud of television, music, movies, and disbelieving friends. Then when the child reaches grade 12 and asks to go to the final dance with a girlfriend, or when he enters University and stops praying, or when he gets married to a Kafir and himself becomes one, then the parents say, "What happened?"

Dont think coz the school is an 'islamic' school your kids are ok...they are NOT! I'm not putting them down. I'd love to have my ideal islamic school with ideal friends for my child...unfortunately I dont have this, so...to save my kids (May Allah make me successful in this), I have to sarcrifice my own desires, put aside my laziness and educate them myself. I have to save them from the hellfire!

I have a friend who sends her kid to preschool, and the kid is talking about the big bad wolf and the three little pigs, and singing 'whose afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf etc...' The school is not a muslim school, but even in the muslim school they do similar things. Why should my child be learning ba ba black sheep and mary had a little lamb!! Simple little islamic stories and nasheeds and Qur'an will be far better for our kids! I dont do any of those things with zakariah and just stick with islamic stories. I play the juzu amma (touched by an angel) every day, and when I dont put it on, Zakariah says to me he wants 3amu saying Qur'an. Or he'll ask for the dhi'b (when wolves become shepards). May Allah protect all of our kids. We will make mistakes as parents, but inshaAllah they will not be mistakes that we will cry over when our kids reach the teenage years.

Thats just me! I feel very passionate about this coz having grown up here in the west as a muslim alhamdulillah i have seen where things have gone wrong, and are continuing to go wrong...and I dont want that to happen with my family. I've seen people who were like minded with me, just give up and put their kids in our 'muslim' school or in non-muslim preschool, and I look at the kids and feel really sorry for them, coz even their behaviour leaves alot to be desired. Why do people give up?? Is it because they do not want to commit themselves to staying home with their kids? Allahu 3alam. I think this ummah is in a sorry state and will remain that way if we dont educate our kids properly, if we dont educate our kids in the proper Islam.

I'm sorry for this rant :/

UmZ

'Awn al-Ma'bood
12-01-2004, 01:36 PM
As salaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu

UmmZakariah, it would be easier to follow if you use the quote button. I was a little confused when reading your post, however realized that the beginning and ending of Brother Muhammads quote was the following:

Dear brothers and sisters, how often is it that a farmer plants wheat and it comes out as a sunflower? You may say, never! For how can someone farm the seed of one plant and expect some other plant to grow. It just does not happen. Similarly, some parents leave their children waddling in the mud of television, music, movies, and disbelieving friends. Then when the child reaches grade 12 and asks to go to the final dance with a girlfriend, or when he enters University and stops praying, or when he gets married to a Kafir and himself becomes one, then the parents say, "What happened?"

Jazaakillaahu Khayran for sharing.

- 'Awn al-Ma'bood

UmmZakariah
12-01-2004, 02:46 PM
Sorry sis,
I'm not sure how to put other 'quotes' in quotes :) only when they have a quote button going with it! Next time I'll change colour inshAllah.
UmZ

UmmZakariah
12-01-2004, 02:55 PM
Well, I myself don't have children and am not too concerned about that. I will leave you all to discuss this among yourselves. ALso, just to add my sisters and I went through our school years (public) untouched by the mess that goes on in them, Walhamdulilaah! Do what you want, after all your children are your children.

Just wanted to offer my 2cent.
:) alhamdulillah sis. I'd say the same about myself. However, the things that I have seen during my schooling and uni years (and hey! I'm not ancient either!) have affected me. They have hardened my heart, and they have made me have to work even harder to boost my eman (so alhamdulillah for this site and emanrush). Going to public school made me know things that I would not have liked to find out at all till I was much older. Even if one is careful about who they make as their acquaintances in school, one still hears and sees things that are not meant for muslim ears.
Wa Allahu 3alam.
Sis Doc2be, I know u are not thinking about kids now. But a story comes to mind. (and if anyone can do a better job at telling it go ahead :))There was once a man whose wife had a baby, and he went to a sheikh and asked him his advice on raising the child. The sheikh asked, how old is the child. The man said (something like) 9 months. The sheikh said 9 months! If u are coming to ask me how to raise him now, its too late! What he meant by this is that the man should have known before he even had his child how he was going to raise him!
UmZ

UmmZakariah
12-01-2004, 02:56 PM
ps sis, anyones two cents worth is much appreciated, kids or no kids :) BarakAllahu fik. I hope by reading our experiences it will help you for when u are in our shoes inshaAllah.
UmZ

spana3rabia
01-01-2005, 04:51 PM
salaamu alaikum,

subhanallah, Idon't even know where to start. Everyone made good points mashallah. Lemme just start off with my experiences/ongoing and past.(still in highschool).

As a kid, I went to public schools mostly and for two-three years(not consecutive) I went to Islamic schools as well. For a time, I went to sunday school at the local masjid. alhamdulillah. I think if it hadn't been for my parents enrolling me in Islamic school(for however short my time in Islamic schools had been) I wuda been gone. allahu a3lam. Its so easy to conform especially when you're always surrounded by kuffar.

Alhamdulillah, I always had my parents telling me what was right and wrong Islamically. I remember one time in elementary public school, we had to switch our telephone numbers with all the people at our table and one of those was a boy my age. It was the first day of school. I had no idea who he was. All I knew was that I had to do what the teacher was telling me. So, the next day, I had forgotten all about the switching of telllynumbres, the boy calls my house and my mom had answered the phone. I didn't see what was so wrong with him calling(for homework supposedly, that was the whole point of switching numbers, so that just incase somebody forgot the assignment, they could call one of their peers.) but anyways, my mom explained to me that muslim girls don't talk to muslim boys only if absolutely necessary. and alhamdullilah, it was as simple as that.

It really depends on who you befriend in any school you go to(homeschooling, public, private). I remember befriending a muslim girl through our mothers. I socialized with most of the kids in my class, but in the end, she was the only one I trusted and spent most of my time with. THe key to surviving public school(or islamic school for that matter) is having good friends.

This same girl(my muslim friend throughout most of my public school years) lived five minutes away from me, so her brother would walk her over to my house and we'd play dress-up, or play in my backyard, or whatever. So she knew my mom pretty well from all her visits over to our house.
Anyways, so one day, its me, the muslim girl, and a couple of other girls playing together in the playground(I think I was in 2nd or 3rd grade)..I remember constantly hearing the other girls(not the muslim girl) giggling and talking about which boy they liked. So, I think thats when I got the idea that there was nothing wrong with that, and that I must be odd since I didnt like anyone. It had never come to my thoughts before that I should be liking someone or that its even possible. I was never exposed to it really. So, later on, before I know it, I'm telling my muslim friend that I like one boy.

Later on in the day, after I've come home and everything, my muslim friend had called my mom up(with the urging of her older sister)to tell her that I had a crush. Ofcourse, whenI found out she told on me to my mom, I was mad. My mom sat down next to me and told me that crushes are normal but you have to know that you cannot talk to the boys once again and just think of something else and do other stuff more worthwhile(not in those words ofcourse). shet old me other stuff ofcourse too long to type. So, I got the message.
subhanallah, looking back, that was a true friend. She was concerned for me and she knew that we weren't like the kuffar. We were different. We were muslims..stillare alhamdullah. So its when you have friends and parents backing you up and constantly reminding you of what you shouldbe doing and should not be doing thats where it really matters. So, the fact that I switched from public school to islamic schools alternatively throughtout most of my schooling did not bring me away from Islam(although it easily could have) because of my family and friends.

spana3rabia
01-01-2005, 05:06 PM
Also, for all those people that are thinking about homeschooling their kids. In my opinion, that would be a great idea. Especially what somebody said about group-homeschooling with other kids and other sisters helping out in the teaching. So, that way, they still get to socialize adequately with other kids and you can make sure that they do not learn anything bad. Besides, everyone is bound to learn something you don't want them to learn, but its up to the parents to correct that and show them that its wrong.

After experiencing both public and private school, I finally decided to do homeschooling this year. It can be hard especially for people that aren't so organized and tend to procrastinate but with some determination and effort, and some organization, as well, its abreeze. I'm inhighschool, so I get my own books and tutorials on the internet and such...my mom doesn't need to teach me, since I can teach myself, so thats a plus. Public highschool was really different for me than public elementary and middle school. I don't know why that was for me. I think it was because I was learning more than I had ever learned about Islam at the time by myself and not through my parents sending me to Islamic school, so I was becoming more aware. ima be honest, Public highschool was hell for me. I hated it...more than hated it really. I wanted to get away from all this crud I was seeing in the hallways and in between breaks. I didn't have many muslim friends except one or two...even though there were a lot of muslim kids in my school...but no way I was going to hang out with them...especially how I'd seen most of them act around the kuffar. urgh.

My cousins(female) were in that school. I told them that I wanted to leave, but they couldn't understand why. I didn't feel like I fit in in that school. There was no one I could talk to about good stuff. Except one other person and I barely saw her. I saw how my cousins acted in school with other kuffars(with boys and other girls) and I felt bad about it. They couldn't understand coz this kuffar school was all they knew. The kuffar people that they had been hanging around with since first grade was all they knew. I felt pressured...so I took the easy way out and switched to an Islamic school since I hadn't found a homeschooling program yet. ah anyways, thats how I feel about public schools anyways. Its different for different people I guess. Allahu alam.

cherenancy
11-08-2005, 10:21 AM
First choice is Islamic School, and I would get involved with it too, not just send my kids there and "hope for the best"--blindly sending them there is not a good idea. If the Islamic School is not convenient, of course I would home school. The main issue for me would be Arabic--as I am converted, I would need help with this. The last thing I would want to do is send my child to public school. There are private schools with a higher level education (all girls/boys) but they are often catholic based. I am of mixed opinion, it is good to expose my children to the society they will live in but it is also good to protect them from the fitna. My dad and his sister were home-schooled because they did not have a choice, they lived in Leon Nicaragua and there were no English schools. My grandmother taught them until grade 7, and then they went to a private school in Guatemala. They were two grades ahead of the others! This is because home schooling permits studying in depth one on one with the teacher. Those who say they do not have the strength and dicipline to teach at home, that is because you do not have to. If you found yourself in a remote area, you would have to and of course you would develop what it takes, in sha Allah. That would be a great trial!

re12321
11-08-2005, 09:31 PM
salaamu alaikum,

subhanallah, Idon't even know where to start. Everyone made good points mashallah. Lemme just start off with my experiences/ongoing and past.(still in highschool).

As a kid, I went to public schools mostly and for two-three years(not consecutive) I went to Islamic schools as well. For a time, I went to sunday school at the local masjid. alhamdulillah. I think if it hadn't been for my parents enrolling me in Islamic school(for however short my time in Islamic schools had been) I wuda been gone. allahu a3lam. Its so easy to conform especially when you're always surrounded by kuffar.

Alhamdulillah, I always had my parents telling me what was right and wrong Islamically. I remember one time in elementary public school, we had to switch our telephone numbers with all the people at our table and one of those was a boy my age. It was the first day of school. I had no idea who he was. All I knew was that I had to do what the teacher was telling me. So, the next day, I had forgotten all about the switching of telllynumbres, the boy calls my house and my mom had answered the phone. I didn't see what was so wrong with him calling(for homework supposedly, that was the whole point of switching numbers, so that just incase somebody forgot the assignment, they could call one of their peers.) but anyways, my mom explained to me that muslim girls don't talk to muslim boys only if absolutely necessary. and alhamdullilah, it was as simple as that.

It really depends on who you befriend in any school you go to(homeschooling, public, private). I remember befriending a muslim girl through our mothers. I socialized with most of the kids in my class, but in the end, she was the only one I trusted and spent most of my time with. THe key to surviving public school(or islamic school for that matter) is having good friends.

This same girl(my muslim friend throughout most of my public school years) lived five minutes away from me, so her brother would walk her over to my house and we'd play dress-up, or play in my backyard, or whatever. So she knew my mom pretty well from all her visits over to our house.
Anyways, so one day, its me, the muslim girl, and a couple of other girls playing together in the playground(I think I was in 2nd or 3rd grade)..I remember constantly hearing the other girls(not the muslim girl) giggling and talking about which boy they liked. So, I think thats when I got the idea that there was nothing wrong with that, and that I must be odd since I didnt like anyone. It had never come to my thoughts before that I should be liking someone or that its even possible. I was never exposed to it really. So, later on, before I know it, I'm telling my muslim friend that I like one boy.

Later on in the day, after I've come home and everything, my muslim friend had called my mom up(with the urging of her older sister)to tell her that I had a crush. Ofcourse, whenI found out she told on me to my mom, I was mad. My mom sat down next to me and told me that crushes are normal but you have to know that you cannot talk to the boys once again and just think of something else and do other stuff more worthwhile(not in those words ofcourse). shet old me other stuff ofcourse too long to type. So, I got the message.
subhanallah, looking back, that was a true friend. She was concerned for me and she knew that we weren't like the kuffar. We were different. We were muslims..stillare alhamdullah. So its when you have friends and parents backing you up and constantly reminding you of what you shouldbe doing and should not be doing thats where it really matters. So, the fact that I switched from public school to islamic schools alternatively throughtout most of my schooling did not bring me away from Islam(although it easily could have) because of my family and friends.




MashaAllah, i went to public all my life except for a few years and alhamdulillah I still [big time] know right from wrong and have myself focused...

muslimah_american
01-07-2006, 09:09 PM
I strongly believe in Islamic school. I grew up in USA public schools and I would never want that for my children. And I have reservations about home-schooling. I want my children to love theri religion, know who they are, I want them to have the real knowledge of our religion. I do not want them to develop complexes. They would surely develop complexes in public schools where they are surrounded by by non-muslims where the customs of the non-muslims seem so attractive, and they would be in minority and will feel left out. This is normal and to be expected because children are innocent they do not know, of course they want tobe liked and have friends and they want to be able to do what others are doing.

I also want my children to be strong and confident and I do not think they would be able to become that if i kept them at home. They need this to be able to compete with other children especially non-Muslims. They need to be around other children and be able to deveop social skills, that will serve them better as adults. I do not think that by keeping them isolated that they will turn out to be confident, strong, knowledgeble, successful, good Muslims.

That is why I think if possible one should plan on settling in a place where there is a successful Islamic school. And if not we should work on establishing one where we live. After all if you look at the Jewish people in this country that is how despite being so few in number they were able to produce successful students who becam succesful in this country and are able to control.
Catholic, Parochial and Jewish schools did not become successful overnightm they worked at it for many years. And here I see Muslims who do not even have the stregnth to deal with an already established Islamic school, because people forget that these schools need the parents. It is a combination of the school and the parents which will turn out succesful Muslims in the end.

Of course if one does not have ay resources, then I think that home-schooling would be better than public school, in the west.

SubhanAllahWabhiHamdihi
01-08-2006, 12:58 AM
Asalamualaikum wr wb,

I've been to Public school for 2 years in America. I just graduated from high school thru home schooling.

As we all know public school is big time time fitnah comparing to home schooling subhanAllah.

I will obviously choose home schooling for my kids.

My parents always wanted me to go to Islamic school. They were after me, cuz its more beneficial than public school. Instead of choosing Islamic school, allahmdulillah I choosed home schooling and today I feel lot better about the decision I made.

Just a reminder, Islamic schools are NOT all Islamic like we always think about. I actually did talk to people who goes to Islamic schools and subhanAllah they do gain lot of knowledge through islamic classes and the people they hang out with, but not to forget the real bad negative side of Islamic schools.

1) Youth who is not interested in going to Islamic school are forced to get into that school by their parents.

2) Parents think its the best for their kids after all its a 'Islamic school' innit?

3) Students who have little and no knowledge of Islam...they do learn things from Islamic schools, but at the same time students with lil knowledge will try to mess up with other students head by speaking against the rulings of Islam.
(im talking about youth here)

Like someone said "the really spoiled ones often get sent to hafiz school".
(ask yourself why?)

being a parents, we shouldn't force our kids atleast for now, because after looking at the situation of this ummah...I really think parents should be more open minded. Yes, Indeed we choose best for our kids. Sometimes we need to put ourselves into their shoes.

Make a right decision about where you want your kids to be. Islamic school or home schooling? and yes we have no option for public school here, its big time fitnah and torture(in my words) subhanAllah.

I remember one of the Knowledgeable Mufti from chicago before leaving aboard for futher Islamic studies he gave me a piece of advice(May Allah reward him for his effort and make him among shuahdah Ameen) "Don't go to public school, you don't want shaytaan to get more closer to you, I recommend Home schooling for you, because its lesser fitnah and really good way to spend time learning your religion"

but then, home schooling is not affordable for everyone and doesnt stimulate the same response from everyone...some ppl need to be in that competitive environment to stay motivated.

going back to Islamic school, only reason i could think of is a very relative one and that is the standard of education. I don't mean the Islamic education. cuz those i'm sure are emphasized but its the other kinda that might get compromised sometimes.

Like I said, those ppl that are forced and are not interested in Islamic school are often the ones in need of attention the most and so they need to be discplined, by paying that extra attention to them.

do they spoil the other kids?? ummm lets see they can affect them in the short term but i think in the long term if one has a solid foundation from the family or is motivated he/she will come back.

Its NOT really a best choice to put your kid into Islamic school, but SubhanAllah we are always going to have positive and negative effects with every single thing in this duniyah!

It depends on person to person. Everyone is not same. Its best to have total Islamic enviroment at home so If your kids go to Private school or public school, It won't make difference to them, because they know who they are, they have their own identity by being a Muslim. They will act the way they are supposed to according to Qur'an wa Sunnah. If only we teach em and start being a responsible parents.

anyways all we can do is make dua for this ummah, after all its the strongest weapon innit? : )
May Allah make swt make our comin generation among the righteous Ameen.
May Allah guide us to the right path, the path of pious Ameen.
May Allah swt make it easy for us to seek knowledge, act upon it, and spread it on to others Ameen.
Peace and blessings be upon the Prophet Muhammed.
All praises is due to Allah, Lord of alameen.

Allah hu alaam.

Wasalamaulaikum wr wb.

Naima Abdulkadir
01-16-2009, 01:09 PM
I'm assuming you are in the United States, and if I ever had children, I would most definitely keep them at home as much as possible.

Having gone through the public school system here in the US, I ask Allaah (SWT) to never allow my children in such an environment. When one is so young and impressionable, what is right and wrong can frequently be flipped, and it can be difficult to undo the damage. I have been out of public school for almost 6 years now, and I still feel the repercussions of that horrible experience...

How it is in other countries, I wouldn't know - it might be that Islaamic school is a truly viable option. However, the Islaamic schools in my area are short on the Islaamic environment, sadly - boys and girls mix freely, and even flirt with each other in the hallways! I was shocked when I saw it myself...: (

I agree 100%. Having gone to public schools, I'd definitely keep my kids at home if I can help it, inshaAllah.

iss ME! zahweee!
01-16-2009, 01:19 PM
I agree 100%. Having gone to public schools, I'd definitely keep my kids at home if I can help it, inshaAllah.^ ditto.. no way no how will my kids go there.. and it's probably 100x worse than when we were there which was baaaaaaadddd

Um Tammer
01-16-2009, 01:46 PM
It really depends on the child, I have done all three with my children.
Just ask Allah to guide you.

It seems like homeschooling is getting easier all the time. When I did it
I had to make-up my own cirruculum..big time stressful

iss ME! zahweee!
01-16-2009, 02:10 PM
It really depends on the child, I have done all three with my children.
Just ask Allah to guide you.

It seems like homeschooling is getting easier all the time. When I did it
I had to make-up my own cirruculum..big time stressfulwow masha-Allah!

i think it's important to not have unreal expectations of islamic schools.. they're not perfect.. i think homeschooling with added outside activities to enable interaction is best, but it's lots of work and dedication

i can imagine you get lots of housework done when kids go to school.. so that's the plus side of that :)

Lunah
01-16-2009, 03:19 PM
wow masha-Allah!

i think it's important to not have unreal expectations of islamic schools.. they're not perfect.. i think homeschooling with added outside activities to enable interaction is best, but it's lots of work and dedication

i can imagine you get lots of housework done when kids go to school.. so that's the plus side of that :)
I have to agree here. I've heard of too many Islamic schools that weren't any good to just trust that they all are. I agree with the homeschooling thing too. You have much more control over things. My kids are in public, because I can't afford private school. They are doing very well. Alhamdullilah!

bint_habibullah
01-17-2009, 03:55 PM
I've heard the option of with homeschooling, perhaps you can gather a group of students in the same level, and do that as well if parents are concerned about 'socializing.'

In all honesty though, I go to public school, and it's what you make out of it. I don't have any bad influences because I don't talk that much to the non-Muslims in my school. Even the Muslims not that much either because of the influence they carry. The Prophet salallahu 'alaihi wa salaam warned about the friends you have, so choose them wisely. Allahu subhanahu wa ta'aala says in the Quran that the kuffar are not the awliya to the believers, rather the believers are awliya to one another. Alhumdulillah, I knew of the ayah and the hadeeth so even when I entered high school I had this mindset. Others do not have that mind set so I would suggest homeschooling to be the best to get rid of those influences.

All in all, I would say that choose your friends wisely, OR stay away from people who are not good/help you become good. I know Muslims in my school who are friends with kuffar and it's not the best deal for their akhlaaq, adab and mindset with regard to this dunya. May Allah keep us steadfast on the haqq. Ameen.

iss ME! zahweee!
01-17-2009, 04:04 PM
^ masha-Allah, those are words of wisdom far beyond your age
may Allah always keep you so firm on haqq, and guide many a people through you, aameen

Sally Mahmoud
01-21-2009, 03:25 PM
i'm a huge fan of homeschooling and would like to teach my own kids one day. I've never been homeschooled, but i've taught.. and i know that as a homeschooling mom- i can be much more in tune with my kids needs, talents, dreams.. everything! You can customize your children's experiences to really shape them in the best way possible..

vs

going to any type of school where there are many factors you cant control for.. and kids just get labeled and have to deal with too many issues.

Asha
01-21-2009, 05:12 PM
This is a very interested thread and great points were made.

First and foremost I think all of this depends on how well you raise your kids outside of school and in your home. We all have negative influences at work/school and even home but its the values that are instilled in us that help us get through years in public and islamic schools. I dont neccesarily thinking public schools are going to turn our kids to something horrible and its a legitimate concern not to want them to go there, especially if you went to some. For some odd reason though homeschooling was never something I wanted my kids to go through, why? Wallahu Alam!

Last semester I was working at a Islamic School in my area which only has ONE room. She is an amazing teacher/principle and its where i would take my kids inshAllah. Their is about 20 kids, you can tell the difference between the one that started a year ago and the one who has been in the school since 1st grade. Its small and has about 3 teachers at any given time of the day. How much Quran they have memorize is amazing, an just about any of the older kids could easily get into Yale or Stanford because of the direction they are heading in.

By the grace of Allah this woman has been given a great talent and you can see it in her kids. As expensive as the school might be its growing and I wouldnt want anything better for my kids. Since homeschooling is something I dont believe am capable of doing, the other option would be to pay another well educated/trained mother to do it for me :)

zuhair.shaath
01-21-2009, 05:46 PM
I've done the whole public school thing but I was also homeschooled for a couple years. Homeschool is definitely better for high school, but it's also important for younger kids/adults to be in a social environment. Our community has a "homeschool group" where all the homeschooled kids come together and do their studying and homework at the masjid, which is awesome because you watch over your kids, they finish their studies faster AND they're also among peers and develop social skills needed once they get to college AND they also get to pray at the masjid 2/3 times a day which is the biggest plus ever.

Nadan
02-06-2009, 09:26 PM
Nowadays we have to be selective about which muslim school we should send our kids to. I have a muslim school in my community and as I've worked for them on previous occasions I have no doubt in my mind in sending my children there. The issue is that once you've chosen to send them out there it is VITAL you keep a close eye on them and follow their progress on a daily basis. - your kids are not necessirely save from the fitnah they would face in public schools. I hear of parents who send their first batch of kids to public schools and the 2nd batch of kids to muslim schools - you find that the younger kids are badly influenced by their older siblings and their behaviour transforms to the extent that they bring it to their muslim school and spread it amongst other children.

And the other issue is that what the kids practises in the muslim schools they should also practise at home (this is what i call the after school-home school) - keep the children active in learning and having the thirst for knowledge.

A question I had was I hear a lot parents homeschooling younger children (between 5 and 11) but how about teenagers (12-16), has anyone ever had the experience in homeschooling teenage children?

bint_habibullah
02-06-2009, 10:09 PM
A question I had was I hear a lot parents homeschooling younger children (between 5 and 11) but how about teenagers (12-16), has anyone ever had the experience in homeschooling teenage children?Not homeschool per se, but my friend takes an online highschool, and she's 16, almost 17. She's been like that for a few years now. It's not homeschooling where the parents are teaching but they're still learning through a school...at home.

mradamjee
02-27-2009, 06:47 PM
I am doing some research to identify the problems and issues parents face while educating their children..I have a small survey that will only take 2 minutes. It would be really great if you can help with it. please email me at mradamjee <at> yahoo <dot> com

HiBz EsSenSe
03-01-2009, 02:16 PM
i think it's important to not have unreal expectations of islamic schools.. they're not perfect.. i think homeschooling with added outside activities to enable interaction is best, but it's lots of work and dedication

i can imagine you get lots of housework done when kids go to school.. so that's the plus side of that :)
Even though there is the pros and cons to all (private, public, home)-
I must say, having been taught/raised in mostly public school (2 years of private)- Alhamdulilah alathee Hadaana ... that I prefer the homeschooling option ... Sr Zahra, I agree with the above- And Alhamdulilah, now there's this "co-homeschooling" which one does with a few other sisters and their children, this makes it easier on the mothers (in terms of curriculum and lesson preparation, as well as having time for household chores) as well as provides the much needed social interaction between the children, meanwhile limiting the fitnah to a minimum

waAllahu Ta'ala a'lam ... May Allah grant us righteous offspring, ameen

ummahtulislam
03-02-2009, 10:39 AM
I think that when I have kids I would definitely like to move to somewhere where there are a lot of Islamic benefits and Islamic schools. I know it's very hard these days to find good Islamic schools in the U.S. The nearest ones to us I've heard aren't doing as well as they were when they first started off.

But Alhamdulillah our masjid started an academy for elementary students and Inshallah one day they will have a middle and high school as well. As for homeschooling, I think that's definitely a good idea but you have to have a lot of determination and time and I don't think I would be qualified to teach that much. Many people have the misconception that kids won't make friends if you home school them which is NOT true at all. I am friends with SO many home-schooled people and if you home-school your children, all you have to do is have them make friends with kids at the masid and TA-DAH, no biggie at all :D

OH and from what I HAVE seen in public school from as little as age 7 and 8, I would NEVER in my life send children to public schools....EVER. We all heard of that little 13 year old father in UK recently right?? YEA how saddening is that?!?! So no way would I want to send my kids to public schools.

HiBz EsSenSe
03-02-2009, 11:36 AM
I think that when I have kids I would definitely like to move to somewhere where there are a lot of Islamic benefits and Islamic schools. I know it's very hard these days to find good Islamic schools in the U.S.
Likewise, Ideally I hope to be able to move out the country but Realistically that isnt an option for most thus its important to be able to provide them with alternatives (Hence I feel Co-Homeschooling is the best option)

waAllahu Ta'ala A'lam where the khayr is

Rahma
03-02-2009, 07:32 PM
I absolutely support the idea of homeschooling for many reasons. And for a lot of sisters, they also agree that homeschooling is something that they want to take upon themselves once they have kids. So my advice to these sisters, considering they eventually want to stay home and rear their children in both secular education as well Islamic education would be to look into education related fields in college. If your ultimate goal is to raise a child who has the best of both worlds (Islamic arena- i.e the next Zaid ibn Thabit (hafithul-Quran) as well as a child who will excel in secular education, then best way is to plan for it.

As for the social aspect for children who are homeschooled, I think there are so many outlets and ways to solve this situation. Co-homeschooling is a plus, but its great to have a plan that is suitable for ones children, whereupon they are reliant on you first and foremost for guidiance and all other aspects that entail social up keeping. One way to aid in the process of social well being for children is to make their social activities surrounding dawah i.e masjid events, AlMaghrib classes (when old enough), halaqats and anything that the parents are directly involved in. And Allah knows best.

Wa'alaykuma Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu