Reviving our sense of Gheerah

Originally Posted by aisha

What's that mean?

Dayyooth is the term that the Prophet (salallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) gave to the man who has no gheerah for the women in his care (e.g., wife, daughter, sister, mother, etc...)

As Sas mentioned already, I have been told that the term translates best to...yes...pimp...someone who sells women sexually to others...just for the fact that he doesn't even care that a man LOOKS at his wife...

jazakAllah khair for the quick reply. wow. so if a man doesn't have gheerah for his women, then that makes him as bad as a pimp??

Originally Posted by Abu Hurayrah

It comes back to your point, then, of the pressure being put on men...if they try to enforce their gheerah on their wives, they are told they are "controlling"...this is mentioned waaay back up there in the original article.

Okay, before my blood boils over, I'm gonna leave this topic, in shaa Allaah...

sorry, didn't mean to anger you if i did. i didnt realize i might have said something offensive.

hmmm...well, i don't know so much about pressure being put on men when it comes to the guys who do the trophy wife thing. when it comes to pressure i was referring to different scenarios. like, i can see how the brother who wants his wife to wear niqaab can be seen as controlling and there might be pressure on him to "ligthen up" whether from his wife or his family. but the brother who goes out of his way to make sure his wife is uncovered and on display is a totally different extreme. i think the trophy wife thing is just the guy himself having jahil values.

but perhaps i should leave the thread if my comments are upsetting other people. i apologize.

[Crystal Eyes]

Originally Posted by MrEspy78

i know brothers who want their wives to take off hijaab/niqaab because they want to show off their "trophy" wife...

what to do then? agrghhhh....

Asalamu alaykum!

subhanallah...that is the case here too. There is 4 things a wife is married for and the prophet (pbuh) said marry those of high religius statues. So one's religion is one's idenitity!

Surely everyone is beautiful in the eyes of their creator so why conflict your companian to admoration of others...wouldn't the brother be causing other men to marry his wife via admiration...you'd be surprised what men find attractive.

He would not be showing his wife as a trophy but degarding himself. Is it worth it? so his male friends will whistle but what shall save them from the jahannam? May they be guided.

w/s

Originally Posted by Olivia

sorry, didn't mean to anger you if i did. i didnt realize i might have said something offensive.

hmmm...well, i don't know so much about pressure being put on men when it comes to the guys who do the trophy wife thing. when it comes to pressure i was referring to different scenarios. like, i can see how the brother who wants his wife to wear niqaab can be seen as controlling and there might be pressure on him to "ligthen up" whether from his wife or his family. but the brother who goes out of his way to make sure his wife is uncovered and on display is a totally different extreme. i think the trophy wife thing is just the guy himself having jahil values.

but perhaps i should leave the thread if my comments are upsetting other people. i apologize.

Before even reading the rest of your post, I just wanted to clarify I wasn't boiling my blood because of anyone here!!!

The mere thought of the lack of gheerah against Muslims makes my blood boil....seeing a sister shake hands with a man makes my blood boil...seeing a BROTHER shake hands with a woman makes my blood boil, but that's not so much gheerah as it is disobedience to Allaah (SWT).

Originally Posted by Abu Hurayrah

Before even reading the rest of your post, I just wanted to clarify I wasn't boiling my blood because of anyone here!!!

The mere thought of the lack of gheerah against Muslims makes my blood boil....seeing a sister shake hands with a man makes my blood boil...seeing a BROTHER shake hands with a woman makes my blood boil, but that's not so much gheerah as it is disobedience to Allaah (SWT).

Ya Admin...i love you for the sake of Allah...

[Crystal Eyes]

Asalamu Alaykum!

I have no room for my heart to boil with rage for those who blind themselves from the truth Allah (swt) has scattered for them. I don’t waste my emotions on them instead I save it for those who actually need…The young children around the world who suffer from HIV and Aids while others die because of starvation…for those helpless Muslims dying in Iraq…for those innocent brothers in Cuba locked up without fair justice trial while the murders get a fair trial…truly they deserve remorse.

Those who call themselves Muslims have no shame for themselves. Verily Allah (swt) is justice and there disobedient shall be punished. This may sound harsh but at the end of the day they are grown up…Inshallah in time they shall remember what they turned their backs on. In time they shall be guided and will truly become amongst those who prosper in this life and the hereafter.

I shall not sit here and critise them because they are lost and surely only Allah (swt) is the only one who can guide whom he wishes. All us Muslims can do is make dua and pray for them and Inshallah they shall see the light…

w/s

[Alima]

Sooo many comments, so long ago... Subhan'Allah.

Any solutions, wake up calls..?? Or is it over?

This is one topic, that needs to be looked into...

There are more important topics, this is just one of them.

[iss ME! zahweee!]

ok so i was never exactly a "feminist" (however you choose to define that)
but i must say this article definitely opened my eyes to my purpose and my duties..

i read it years ago when i wasn't married and still refer back to it sometimes now that i'm married... i'm very blessed to have a husband with quite a keen sense of gheerah and being born in the west, i have my moments where i enjoy challenging him but all in good fun!

subhanAllah i can't imagine a husband who wants to show off his wife.. i was recently very saddened to see a pic on facebook of one of my acquaitance friends, who is quite "religious" and wears hijab sitting at a dining table full of brothers, eating with her husband there sitting beside her.. and no other women around!
when i saw that, i thought of this article..

it's even more important for every brother to know his responsibilities in regards to gheerah for the very reason that he has been made ameer of the home, and even a woman with shyness will eventually lose that because of the situations he puts her in
may Allah guide us all...

btw it's an honor, sr. fatima, to see you on the forums

[muslimaah]

wow...yes, I realize this thread was started a decade ago..but I couldn't help myself.
Seriously, this article is overhyping things. That kinda stuff might be prevalent in hollywood amd hollywood does not reflect the rest of America. I know non muslims who don't think it's alright for their spouses to dance or flirt with other people. Talk about making blanket statements.
another thing that really surprised me is the issue of niqab...and husbands "ordering" it. Look, I don't think niqab is obligatory and i'm not even going to marry a man who thinks it is. If i ever wear niqab, i want it to be because i feel it's right for me..and not because some mortal ordered it.

I'm also shaking my head at the gheebah that's going on here. So what if the sister was having dinner while her husband was right next to her? I will definitely find that uncomfy myself but come one are you guys saying you are perfect?

As far as in laws go..pls brothers, man up and defend your wives. I'm sick of this controlling attitude prevalent in the asian culture.
Grow up and make your own decisions best for the family. Your wife is not obligated to please your parents.