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Old 03-28-2012, 10:13 PM   #81
Abdul-Qadir
Ummat Muhammad
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 171
Re: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

68. Don’t let your children come between you.


• All parents adore and wnat the best for their children. They make their lives complete and are their top priority.
• Partners also love each other. One important message to give children is to set an example of two parents who love each other and look forward to spending time with one another.
• Children will then see that their parents have respect for each other, they agree on most fronts, and they love each other.
• This does not mean that everyone must have the same relationship with their children or that they should prioritize their lives as others have done, but they should take some time out to be with their partner once in a while.
• For a relationship to be good you must prioritize it. If you value the relationship, make it a point to spend time with one another.
• People speak with their actions. If they say they love their partner, then their actions should show this as well.
• You spend time with the children, work, and go shopping, so why not spend some time with your spouse?
• When you spend time together, this sends a powerful message to the other person, that each of you matters to the other.
• It is hard to sweat the small stuff with your partner when you both know you matter to the other.
• So no matter how you do it, consider prioritizing the relationship, and everyone will win.
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Old 06-08-2012, 11:09 AM   #82
Abdul-Qadir
Ummat Muhammad
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 171
Re: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

69. Learn to Deflect the Occasional Uncalled-for Comments


• There does not seem to be any way of getting through life without saying some pretty stupid things.
• You will stlip every once in a while, when you are tired, grumpy, or just in a bad mood.
• Every once in a while, no matter how nice a person you are, you will say something that is insensitive, condescending, or uncalled for.
• The fact is, you are human, and so is your partner.
• If you can make allowances for the fact that your partner, like you, is going to mess up every once in a while, you will have the edge that few seem to enjoy.
• Furthermore, your accepting atitude will garuantee that this does not happen that often.
• Your lack of insistance that your partner be flawless will create an emotional enviornment that will bring out the best in them.
• They will not feel like they have to walk on eggshells, or that you are keeping score of their behavior. When someone does not feel prssured to be perfect, the most common response is to lighten up, open the heart and be more loving.
• So you are in a relationship, and your partner says something inappropriate. at this point you are in a fork in the road. you can (like most do) react, snap back, defend yourself, fill your head with anger, remember all the other times they have done the same and feel sorry for yourself, and slam the door and call and friend to talk about it.
• Or, you can roll your eyes and accept the fact that all of us say and do things once in a while that we should not. Period. Let it go and remain loving.
• The comment has already been made and cant be taken back. this is a new moment and a new opportunity to remain loving.
• Consider these two responses. Which do you think your partner will respond to better? They have already been insensitive. Do you compound the problem and prove you cant love unconditionally? Or do you set a better example. Love is the solution to almost all minor day-to-day issues.
• When you dont react to the comment, and instead remain loving, you will find your partner laughing at themselves if not apologizing for their behavior.
• This strategy referes to ocassional slips of the toungue, not patterns of negative behavior.
• The next time this happens, try this new way of respnoding-or not responding as the case may be. It may be easier than you imagine to think of un-called for comments as small stuff. You can them let it go and get on with being in love.
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Old 06-25-2012, 09:05 PM   #83
Abdul-Qadir
Ummat Muhammad
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 171
Re: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

Assalamualaikum,

On #69:

This is in my top ten. We all have said things we regret later on. Everyone has a limit to their patience. We will eventually say or do something offensive. When our partner does such things, we should remember that we do them sometimes as well. And just like we want our partner to forgive us, we should forgive them as well. Also, as the strategy states, your accepting attitude will ensure this does not happen often.

Allah knows best.

If anyone has anything to add, feel free.
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:32 PM   #84
Abdul-Qadir
Ummat Muhammad
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 171
Re: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

70. Don't come home frazzled.


• This is a simple way to make your interactions peaceful after a tiring day.
• This will help you be more patient and understanding while making the transition from work to home easier.
• It is common for partners to come home as if they are crossing the finish line of a race. They have all the energy from the rest of the day.
• Common sense will tell you that when you are speeded up, you lose many desirable human traits. You are less patient, your expectations go up, and you are bothered easily, especially by small things.
• The solution is simple. Stop your car and get out. Take a few minutes to relax and unwind. Remind yourself that work is over and you need to slow down.
• The most important thing is the acknowledgement that it is in your best interest to slow down and relax.
• You will feel better and your partner will appreciate it as well. Very few are appreciative of someone who barges in and stirs things up.
• Remind yourself that your hurried reality is not always shared by your partner.
• Do not under estimate the importance of not coming home rushed.
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Old 11-08-2012, 02:06 AM   #85
nmakh
Ummat Muhammad
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 53
Re: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

As salam alaikum
We have to truly ask for Allah's help to do all these things.
Nice points but requires alot of patience.
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