If Anyone Favors His Wife Over His mother...! Good Hadith (Must read)

[Mishal]

Originally Posted by Ali 22

he was indicating that if his mother did not forgive him to allow him to say the shahadah then he would be burned after death (i.e. hell, in the grave, Allahu A'lam).

He then turned to Bilal and said, 'Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood.'

She said, 'Messenger of Allah, what do you plan to do?' He replied, 'I will burn him in front of your eyes.'

She said, 'Messenger of Allah, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!'

He said, 'Umm Alqamah, Allah's punishment is more severe and more lasting!

I don't think anyone will have any doubts whatsoever from the above passage that the Prophet was NOT being metaphorical in his speech. Especially when he said "Allah's punishment is MORE severe and MORE lasting", he was obviously comparing Allah's punishment in the Hereafter with the punishment he was about to provide to Alqamah here in THIS world.

Originally Posted by Ali 22

so the best way was to show his mother, 'do you want this to happen to your son?' because his time of death was near and the Prophet was wanting to solve the matter quickly (subhanAllah what hikmah) so he showed her this is what will happen if you dont forgive your son.

I will not extract any hikmah/wisdom from a hadeeth that is daeef jiddan. Rather, the ulama abandons such ahadeeth and so will I. I urge the brothers and sisters to do the same.

Its OK to narrate it since its about virtues, right?

WRONG! It is incorrect to narrate this story as a hadeeth under the pretense that it is about fadhaa'il al-a'maal (virtuous deeds), since there is a lot of meaning to the narration outside of that, and the permissibility of using such narrations just for admonishments does not include narrations that are severely weak or fabricated, as is the case here.

Originally Posted by Ali 22

as for authenticity Allahu A'lam im not too sure of it, heard it a long time ago though.

It was actually deleted from the Musnad of Ahmad by the author himself, since it was narrated by Faa'id ibn 'Abdir-Rahmaan, an abandoned narrator. So it is not correct to attribute it to Ahmad, as pointed out by al-Albaanee in his Dha'eef at-Targheeb (2/144), and he referenced it for those who want more details about it to as-Silsilah ad-Dha'eefah (#3183), calling it dha'eef jiddan. Other scholars listed it in their books warning against fabrications, like Ibn al-Jowzee in his al-Mowdhoo'aat.

Akhi, what I quoted above leaves NO DOUBT regarding the extreme weakness of this hadeeth.

[mzsharia]

Assalamualikum wa Rahmatu Allahi wa Barakatuhu,

I deeply apologize for not making sure that this story is accurate. Sheikh AlBanni (Rahemahou Allah) classified this hadeeth as a very week hadeeth. I found the following results regarding the authenticity of the hadeeth:
Islamweb dot net

[font=Verdana', 'sans-serif]Fatwa No : 133353[/font]

[font=Verdana', 'sans-serif]The story of Alqamah and his mother[/font]

[font=Verdana', 'sans-serif]Fatwa Date : Rabee' Al-Aakhir 1, 1431 / 17-3-2010[/font]


[font=Verdana', 'sans-serif]Question[/font]

[font=Verdana', 'sans-serif]Salam Aleikum Please verify the authenticity of this Hadith At the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), there was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the Prophet and said, "My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Messenger of Allah, about his condition." The Prophet (then) sent for Ammar or Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have him repeat the Shahadah. Thereupon they went to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked him to say, "La illaha illa Allah," but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah. The Prophet asked, "Is either of his parents alive?" He was told, "Messenger of Allah, his mother is, but she is very old." The Prophet sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (that is, is she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to her. The Prophet's messenger came to her and informed her of the Prophet's message. She said, "May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!" She then stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet and greeted him. The Prophet returned her greeting and said to her, "Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your son, Alqamah?" She replied, "Messenger of Allah, he prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great amount in charity." The Prophet said, "And what about yourself?" Some portion due to limitation of words. It was reported from Ahmed and Tibrani [/font]

[font=Verdana', 'sans-serif]Answer[/font]

[font=Tahoma', 'sans-serif]All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.[/font]



[font=Times New Roman', 'serif]This story is really reported by Imaam [/font][font=Tahoma', 'sans-serif]Ahmad[/font][font=Times New Roman', 'serif] in a summarized manner and it was also reported in detail by [/font][font=Tahoma', 'sans-serif]At-Tabaraani[/font][font=Times New Roman', 'serif] and it was also mentioned by [/font][font=Tahoma', 'sans-serif]Al-Munthiri[/font][font=Times New Roman', 'serif] in his book “At-Targheeb Wat-Tarheeb". Moreover, [/font][font=Tahoma', 'sans-serif]Shaykh Al-Albaani[/font][font=Times New Roman', 'serif] classified the Hadeeth in which this story is mentioned as being very weak. [/font]

[font=Times New Roman', 'serif]The following matters should be mentioned:[/font]

[font=Times New Roman', 'serif]1- In those narrations, no mention of ‘Alqamah was made, and we have not come across the name of this person whether or not it was him (‘Alqamah). [/font]

[font=Times New Roman', 'serif]2- There are many texts in the Book of Allaah and in the Ahaadeeth reported by [/font][font=Tahoma', 'sans-serif]Al-Bukhaari[/font][font=Times New Roman', 'serif], [/font][font=Tahoma', 'sans-serif]Muslim[/font][font=Times New Roman', 'serif] and others, that warn us against cutting ties of kinship with parents and urge us to be kind and dutiful to them, so there is no need to resort to the Hadeeth which you mentioned in the question. [/font]

[font=Times New Roman', 'serif]Allaah Knows best. [/font]




Jazakoum Allahu Khairan for bringing up this to my attention. May Allah (SWT) forgive me for my mistake. We may not believe in this hadeeth, but we may look at its context. Sometimes there are situations that require from us to use wisdom, rather than to stick cultural norms. I believe every man and woman should respect their parents, but if it comes to the point of one side oppressing the other side for no reason then as i mentioned the man should not oppress his wife or the wife oppress her husband just because the mother or father ordered them to adhere to a certain command. Oppression is oppressions on the Day of Resurrection. All i can say is that we will be held accountable for every action we take in this dunyah. Not a single person, even our parents will be able to help us out on the Day of Resurrection once we stand before Allah Azawajal. If we stick to what the Quran and Sunnah teaches us then we will inshaAllah not fall into such situations. Once again i apologize for my mistake and I should have been more careful regarding the authenticity of the hadeeth.

Jazakoum Allahu Khairan
Wassalamualikum

[Mishal]

I believe every man and woman should respect their parents, but if it comes to the point of one side oppressing the other side for no reason then as i mentioned the man should not oppress his wife or the wife oppress her husband just because the mother or father ordered them to adhere to a certain command. Oppression is oppressions on the Day of Resurrection.

Jazak'Allah Khair for saying this.

[muslimaah]

that being said, there's no clash of rights btw the mom and wife.

Many ppl just misimterpret it, and bring a great deal of injustice upon their wives.