Question for Shykh from class?

[al_layl]

asalaamu 'alakum
I know it has been really long since FOL class, but insha Allah I really hope the majority of you remember what Shayk Yasir Birjas was explaining concerning the rights of the spouses. If the Shaykh is able to answer this question, that would be amazing.

When the husband cannot afford his wife and cannot provide the fard duty of financially maintaining her and giving her a roof over her head, (and both do not want to divorce), is it correct that the woman does not have to obey her husband? Added that the woman lives with her parents and the father is her financial provider. I remember he mentioned this in class. Can any of you refreshen my memory? Can you provide daleel or elaborate on what he had said please,
JAZAKALLAH KHAIR.

[fevzy]

Originally Posted by al_layl

asalaamu 'alakum
When the husband cannot afford his wife and cannot provide the fard duty of financially maintaining her and giving her a roof over her head, (and both do not want to divorce), is it correct that the woman does not have to obey her husband? Added that the woman lives with her parents and the father is her financial provider. I remember he mentioned this in class. Can any of you refreshen my memory?

ve alaykum es salaam ...
I am not a shykh, but this might refreshen you memory ...
you might want to look into your notes on celibate marriage and "qiwaamun".

This goes under the concept of Sulh 'reconciliation or settlement' mentioned in Surat An-nissa' (in the translation):

[128] If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint, Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.
[129] Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practice self-restraint, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful

In this case if they decide to go with a settlement then they have to define the rules and terms of this settlement and agree on them.

Part of this agreement would become the authority of the husband. As long as they are still married she is obligated to obey him bil ma'rouf, but if they plan a broader meaning of settlement then they have to set the boundaries of this concept as clear as possible including his authority over her.

Wallahu Aa'lam

[fevzy]

Nice to have you back Shykh Yasir.
I found this hadith in Sahih Bukhari. We never touched on this matter in class. Could you explain what this hadith means?

Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 23, Number 374: Narrated Anas bin Malik:

We were (in the funeral procession) of one of the daughters of the Prophet and he was sitting by the side of the grave. I saw his eyes shedding tears. He said, "Is there anyone among you who did not have sexual relations with his wife last night?" Abu Talha replied in the affirmative. And so the Prophet told him to get down in the grave. And so he got down in her grave.

Originally Posted by fevzy

Nice to have you back Shykh Yasir.
I found this hadith in Sahih Bukhari. We never touched on this matter in class. Could you explain what this hadith means?

Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 23, Number 374: Narrated Anas bin Malik:

We were (in the funeral procession) of one of the daughters of the Prophet and he was sitting by the side of the grave. I saw his eyes shedding tears. He said, "Is there anyone among you who did not have sexual relations with his wife last night?" Abu Talha replied in the affirmative. And so the Prophet told him to get down in the grave. And so he got down in her grave.

According to Ibn Hajar rahimahullah in his commentary, the reason the prophet asked the question was to have someone who had not engaged in the pleasure of this dunya prior to the burial so that the person who becomes in charge of the burial would be far from thinking about the dunya in time of the first step to the Akhira.
And there was another reason related to Uthman her husband which Ibn Hajar does not strongly support.

Wallahu Aa'lam.