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Old 04-30-2007, 12:09 PM   #1
Yaser Birjas
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Man Vs. Woman

“Exclusively for married people. No singles to answer please.”

In recent discussions on this folder of Love Notes and Love Notes class…there came so many stereotypes of how men and women are viewing each other. In some of these discussions men and women were asked to express their opinions about loving and non-loving actions they experience or predict in their future relationships.

Now most of the answers came from –allow me to say- inexperience people i.e. non-married. Therefore, most of the answers were kind of idealistic and rosy on one hand or sarcastic and judgmental on another had. And I think the wisdom of the experienced ones i.e. married, was lost in the midst of these waves.

Married ones…here is your chance to view your opinion. Let’s make this a serious discussion insha’Allah.

The question to answer is:
For men: how do you define a woman, femininity and womanhood?
For women: how do you define a man, masculinity and manhood?

It might be beneficial if you mention your years of experience and your professional field.
PS: Homemaker (housewife), is a professional career as well.

Hint: make your answers in short words. Ex:
The man is: power, chivalry, generosity…or whatever
The woman is: Tenderness, beauty, mercy…or whatever
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Old 04-30-2007, 01:20 PM   #2
fevzy
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Posts: 432
Re: Man Vs. Woman

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaser Birjas
For men: how do you define a woman, femininity and womanhood?
It might be beneficial if you mention your years of experience and your professional field.
PS: Homemaker (housewife), is a professional career as well.
I'm not sure how this can be answered in few words, but I'll start off with my general answer since this was the first set of answers that came up upon reading your question (before looking at your hint).

In general, I define a woman, femininity, and womanhood by the properties that determine one's sex, the levels of various virtues that influence one's gender, and the degree to which one is close to the ideal woman (in the sight of Allah), respectively.

Years of Experience: 10
Professional Field: Consumer Science; Applied statistical research.
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Old 04-30-2007, 02:43 PM   #3
hassanm
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Re: Man Vs. Woman

Salaam.

Years of work experience : 6
Professional Field: Software Engineer
Years in marriage: 1.5

Woman/Womanhood:

1. Shy
2. Shy
3. Shy
4. Affectionate
5. Emotional
6. Talkative

Last edited by hassanm; 05-01-2007 at 08:28 AM. Reason: thought experience in marriage was meant, so added work and marriage separately
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Old 04-30-2007, 02:48 PM   #4
UmmSakinah
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Las Cruces, New Mexico
Posts: 3,759
Re: Man Vs. Woman

I was about to post my answer but I wasn't sure if I understood the question correctly, but I think now I kind of understand.

How I define a man, masculinity & manhood:

1. gentle
2. kind
3. respectful
4. considerate
5. responsible
6. well mannered

Years of experience: 10 years
Professional field: homemaker
__________________
Surah Al Ghaashiyah 17-20
Do they not look at the camels, how they are created?
And at the heaven, how it is raised?
And at the mountains, how they are rooted and fixed firm?
And at the earth, how it is spread out?


From desert region...
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Old 04-30-2007, 07:32 PM   #5
Nazia Awan
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Re: Man Vs. Woman

Assalaamu'alaikum,

I would define masculinity and manhood by:

1. Good leadership skills. Has power.
2. Good decision maker.
3. Takes shura.
4. Physically strong and muscular.
5. Works.
6. Responsible.

Years of experience: 1.5
Professional field: student/housewife.
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Old 04-30-2007, 08:28 PM   #6
UmmMalick
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 85
Re: Man Vs. Woman

As salaam alaikum,

I would define a man masculinity and manhood:

1. Takes charge of his family
2. Understanding
3. Responsible
4. Respectful
5. Religious
6. Loves his family

Years of experience: 13 years

Professional field: Homemaker and student.
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Old 04-30-2007, 08:45 PM   #7
Siraaj
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Re: Man Vs. Woman

Software Engineer: 2.5 years experience
Husband: 3.5 years experience
Father: 2.25 years experience

Woman:
1. Obedient
2. Modest
3. Nurturing
4. Beautiful

Siraaj
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Old 05-01-2007, 12:10 AM   #8
Sabiqoon
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Re: Man Vs. Woman

years of experience: 4 yrs Field: medical student
married: 3 yrs.

What defines a good man?

1.Leader
2.God-conscious
3.Responsible
4.Respectful
5.Dutiful to his parents
6.Courageous, brave, strong
7.simple but well groomed
8.Hardworking
9.Upon the sunnah
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Old 05-01-2007, 10:45 AM   #9
Abu Sunnah
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Re: Man Vs. Woman

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaser Birjas
The question to answer is:
For men: how do you define a woman, femininity and womanhood?
Sheikh, do you want us to answer what we think should be the definition, or what our experiences have taught us is the definition? It seems like most of us are posting what we think should be the definition, Allahu a'lam.
=============
Married: 2.5 years
Field: Student

Definition of Woman:
Obedient - supports the husband after he makes the final decision
Intelligent - knows when NOT to state her opinion
Wise - example, doesn't rub it in when her husband falls short, and knows how to have her opinion implemented (without nagging!)
Educated - educated in the sense that she knows how the world works, and isn't naive or idealistic (basically, street-smart)

Definition of femininity:
Beautiful - she knows how to dress and beautify herself infront of her husband
Seductive - she knows how to push the right buttons to arouse her husband

Definition of womanhood:
Teacher - the ultimate teacher for her children
Nurturer - nurtures the children and the man when they need her
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Old 05-01-2007, 08:54 PM   #10
Ra77aal
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Re: Man Vs. Woman

married- 2.5 yrs
field- teacher/ student

Man-

Leader, breadwinner, strong, in the service of his family, loving/caring, respectful, and understanding

Masculinity-

Strength (physical/character), charisma, charm, balance, wisdom

the answers are based on ideals
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