Reminder Thread!

[Sweet Muslimah]

Why do we fight?


There are 2 reasons why people fight. The first is because of our pride. We always want to be right, or we don't want to admit that we're wrong. I've been ni fights with people several times where I persist in fighting because I want to be right (regardless if I'm right or not). I think most of us can relate to that.


The second reason that people fight is because of their selfish desires. Usually when people want to take our pleasures away (including being right) we tend to fight back.

----------By pride comes nothing but strife. -----------------



How To "Fight" Fair?


Commitment 1: talk
Talking is essential. Communication can go a long way because a lack of communication can create situations of miscommunications and issues that could have been easily avoided. While talking it's vital that we speak in truth. This means that we say things in love and not out of spite or vengeance. We should speak with integrity and accuracy. It's important that we don't exaggerate when we talk (which is something that I think a lot of us do).

"Let each one of you speak truth..."

Commitment 2: fix the problem not the blameIt's easy to point fingers and assign blame, but it doesn't do much in terms of fixing the problem. Usually putting the blame on someone (even if it is their fault) will only create a defensive attitude. The point of talking is to help solve problems not further them. Our goal as Muslims is to create unity among ourselves, so putting the blame on others doesn't do much for unity.

...for we are brothers and sisters in Islam...


Commitment 3: stay calm
I started doing this when I was having serious talks with people and it really works. Keeping your cool and not raising your voice does wonders for solving problems. Even when I'm really angry and I stay calm I'm able to keep myself under control and not have regrets later. The other person I'm talking with is also more receptive to what I have to say. Overall, staying calm just makes things a lot easier and less stressful.



Commitment 4: no hitting below the belt
I am guilty of doing this. Making blows to the other person that are just cheap shots made to satisfy my own desire to hurt them rather than building them up. Fighting should be productive to help solve a problem. Bringing cheap shots into the picture creates an atmosphere of disrespect, which in turn causes hostility and defensiveness. Choose to use words to invest into the person's life than trying to destroy their life.

Don't say anything that may hurt a person...


Commitment 5: no history lessons
This basically means that we should not bring up previous incidents to make a point. This doesn't mean just forget those things they have done, but if you've already dealt with them then leave it be. It is difficult to talk to a person when they keep throwing things in your face about what you did before. Nobody can change the past, so just deal with it and move on.

Let the past alone...deal with today...


Commitment 6: forgive
Conflict is inevitable. We will always be hurt my someone and will hurt others ourselves, even if it is not intentional. Forgiveness is the only way to deal with hurt that isn't deserved because otherwise revenge will be sought instead. I know this from experience. No matter how much you yell and attack the person who hurt you, it doesn't make a difference. You still feel horrible and just get frustrated that you don't feel better after it.

...as brothers and sisters we must forgive one another...

[Anila Hussain]

Taken from Khushoo fis-Salaat (p.62) of Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali - rahimahullaah

Ibraheem ibn Adham, may Allaah have Mercy upon him, was a third century scholar, a teacher and a companion of Sufyaan ath-Thawree, and he was asked about the saying of Allaah - The Most High:

"And your Lord says: 'Call on Me, I will answer your prayer...'"

[Soorah Ghaafir, 40:60]

"We supplicate and we are not answered." So he said to them:

"You know Allaah, Yet you do not obey Him,

You recite the Qur'aan, Yet you do not act according to it,

You know Shaitaan, Yet you have agreed with him,

You proclaim that you love the Messenger of Allaah, Yet you abandon his Sunnah,

You proclaim your love for Paradise, Yet you do not act to gain it,

You proclaim your fear for the Fire, Yet you do not prevent yourselves from sins,

You say: “Indeed death is true”, Yet you have not prepared for it,

You busy yourselves with finding faults with others, Yet you do not look at your own faults,

You eat that which Allaah has provided for you, Yet you do not thank Him,

You bury your dead, Yet you do not take a lesson from it."

[Muhajabah]

Subhanallah...that is so true!

[Nade]

who wrote the "why do we fight?" article? Or what is it's origin?

[Sweet Muslimah]

Salam

I don't remember where I got it from...I added some things to the original article. It wasn't from a muslim source though...

[Nade]

that article sounds muslim-y, i really thought a muslim wrote it. One can find examples in Qur'an and sunnah about the manners the author is talking about.

[Nade]

Bismillah

Assalamualaikum,

I re-read this entire thread today and I was thinking. Alhamdullillah we have access to all this knowledge but Im concerned about my own level of practice. Firstly I cant remember all the things in all these articles all the time, my unfortunate flaw alas, may Allah improve my condition. Ameen.

However, I came across this hadith while reading another article:

The messenger (S.A.W.) said: “ Allah will talk to everyone directly, without a translator. The person will look to his right, and will not see anything but his deeds. Then the person, will look in front of himself and will see nothing but the hellfire facing him. So protect yourself from Hellfire even by giving a charity of half a date.” {Reported by Imam Bukhari}

and besides the obvious meaning, I Alhamdullillah realized something else; the importance of action. Even if it is HALF of a date, give it for the sake of Allah.

InshAllah, a good thing to do would be to pick an action, like giving some charity, smiling more, hugging your parents, trying to talk to non-muslims about Islam, finding someone in need and helping them, giving your seat to an old gent./lady, praying more extra prayers, cutting down on sinning, reading Qur'an more (even if its an extra ayah a day, its more than what one would have been doing before), doing something to keep your body more healthy, eating more fruits, less sugar/salt/fats/junkfood, working out, walking more, encouraging your parents to exercise (i bought my mom small weights lol...), spending money on your family, buying all (or part of) the groceries, giving small gifts...etc.

That was alot, my point is, pick an action or a form of ibaadah that you're falling short on, and try to improve it gradually. Or, pick another small action you can do and do it everyday. No need to do anything fancy, just have the sincere intention and just as importantly be consistent in the performance of this action. InshAllah this will become a habit. When you got that down just choose something else for the sake of Allah and do it little by little, gradually, and make it a habit. And may Allah reward you all for it. Ameen.

Like sheikh Rageah said in Torch Bearers, for the sake of Allah memorize just one ayah a day, just one, not a page or half a page, just 1 ayah, and if you're consistent, in a month you'll have down surah Mulk, InshAllah. Give a bit of money in charity everyday with the sincere intention, and InshAllah in your balance, you'll have a large sum on the day of judgement. There could be a million things we could do depending on the circumstances of our individual lives. But, no matter how small it is, we have to have the will power to act, and use our time wisely InshAllah. May Allah make us, especially me, benefit and use our time wisely and protect us, our parents, teachers, brothers and sisters from the hellfire and admit us to the highest level of Jannah. Ameen,

Salaam,

~ N

[Anila Hussain]

Remembering death

‘Ataa. said:

‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez used to gather the fuqahaa, every night and they would (all) remember death, the Day of Judgment and the Hereafter and then they would weep.

Siyar A'laam an-Nubalaa. - Volume 5, Page 138

[Anila Hussain]

On the authority of Bukayr or Abu Bukayr that Ibrahim at-Taymee said:

"The one who is not afflicted with sadness and grief should fear being from the people of the Fire because the people of Paradise will say;

"All praises and thanks be to Allah, who has removed from us grief" [35:34]

[Al-Hayaa]

Originally Posted by Sweet Muslimah

Brothers & Sisters this post might seem to be long & all but take a few minutes to read it inshallah...very important!

Remembrance of Allah: Dhikr for Students

What deed is better than giving gold and silver? According to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), it is dhikr, which means remembrance of Allah. Dhikr is a form of worship that in importance comes only after the ritual Prayer (salah) and reading Qur'an. While salah has to be performed at certain times and under certain conditions of purity, dhikr can be made any time, in any place. It can be done by repeating certain formulas to extol and praise Allah, or it can be just thoughts of Allah in one's heart and mind.

Students are greatly blessed in that they have many excellent opportunities every day to perform dhikr. In school all day long students are being given knowledge by their teachers. I am specifically referring to academic courses such as math, physics, social studies, history, languages, and all others rather than religious courses; although this can apply in religious courses also.

Consider what happens now in those academic courses. The teacher tells the students many true facts every day, or the students read new facts from books, and the students remember some number of those facts; but, seldom is Allah mentioned, and I would guess that seldom is Allah remembered. This is not the way it should be. Allah should be remembered always.

I would like to suggest a program of dhikr that would take very little time, be of great spiritual benefit to students, help ensure a close personal relationship with Allah, and probably even help students learn the academic subjects better. If this dhikr would do all that how could any Muslim student not want to at least try this method.

To understand the purpose of this dhikr you must first know that Allah has given us two important sources of revelation, the Qur'an and His Physical Creation. We are told we must 'read' each of these two sources in a balance if we are to correctly understand the right way of life, Islam, which Allah has given us.

There are many ways to learn the knowledge of Allah's Physical Creation. For students one of the best sources of knowledge of Allah's Physical Creation is the knowledge being taught in the various academic courses at school. All true knowledge is Islamic knowledge. For example, even the simple fact that 2+2=4 is Islamic knowledge. Allah has made His Physical Creation such that for us to succeed and progress in the world He has created for us it is necessary to know such simple truths.

So, how does this relate to dhikr? Every time you hear some new fact about Allah's Physical Creation this provides an ideal opportunity to remember Allah. You could use being given each new bit of information as a cue to remember Allah.

The reasons for doing this kind of dhikr are many and they are very important. In today's world we so often take the knowledge we are taught in school for granted. We usually don't consider the knowledge we learn in academic subjects to be part of our spiritual obligation to Allah. We often consider this objective knowledge of Allah's Physical Creation that we learn in academic courses to be separate from the knowledge of Allah we learn in religious courses.

When we live our lives in today's busy world it is very easy to forget that everything we do is part of our relationship with Allah. Constant remembrance of Allah is the ideal, but few of us ever achieve that high spiritual level. This dhikr for students provides a simple, easy way to increase your remembrance of Allah, and therefore to improve your relationship with Allah
Isn't it wonderful that as we fulfill our responsibility to gain knowledge of Allah's Physical Creation during our years in school that we can at the same time perform dhikr so that we increase our ability to benefit from that knowledge and become ever closer in our personal relationship with Allah?

Remembrance of Allah through our student years can be the means for us to grow into Muslims of excellent character, who can make right the many wrongs in today's world, who can eventually live in a fully and truly Islamic world, and who on Judgment Day will have a very good chance of being granted entry into Paradise. All Praise to Allah!

Asalaamu 3alaykum warahmatullah,
Bismillah wasalaatusalaam 3alaa Rasoolilah, Allahuma salla 3alaa nabiyina Muhammed.
Maashallah tabarakallah sis, that was a truely beatiful post! The best thing was that im thinking jus like you!

Many people have said to me that attending Uni is 'haraam' and im wasting my time doind uni work, why not spend time for Allah swt? However, wht we fail to understand is that evrythin we do should be for Allah, to reep that reward bi'idnillah! I mean, goin 2 uni or other academic should bring us closer to Allah, it should remind us of the Power of Allah swt.

Im studying a science course at uni and walahi, the pictures that are presented to us...of people al sorts of disease makes me contemplate an remember Allah swt and spending one minute to remember Allah will be of so much benefit as Allah swt will remember YOU in a higher place! Allahu Akbar!

I think that its based on our niyah (intention) and ikhlaas (sincerity), for if we do something eg go to further academic education solely for Allah then you'll taste that imaan.

However, there is a balance to all things and this is not to say that one must 4get their salah n other wajib acts to do something permissible (its frm shaytaan) in which i must go now..........its salah time here...in sha Allah will continue but jazkillahu khayran sis 4 th reminder

pls 4giv me if i seemed rude

fee amanilah