100 ways to improve your chances of getting married to your "Dream Girl".

[Mansoor]

1. Bribe her wali to put you on top of contenders list. Call him, run after his car, lie down in his doorsteps, until he actually makes a list and put you on top of it.
   (All the Rulings of Wali apply only if hes your friend and not someone from sister's family)
2. Beg him, beseach him, take him to the expensive restaurants for dinner.
3. Pay his utility bills without even taking the money from him.
4. Wash his car everyday and offer a pick and drop service completely free of charge.
5. Send him death threats if nothing mentioned above works.
6. Kidnap his son.
7. Wash and use the same diaper he came with to reduce the kidnapping cost.(man.. are these things expensive or what, my sister has two kids and half of their income goes to diapers.. my God..)
8. If the kid happens to be the most evil kid in the world, put him back in his doorstep with a note: "I hate you and your son equally".
9. Beg all the shyookh in the masjid to convince the sister for you. Cry infront of them, cling to their thob until they promise to convince her for you. (Man.. dont they just give false hopes )
10. Disguise yourself in a sister's outfit, go to her and tell her about this brother you know named "yourname" and praise yourself as much as you can.
11. Give children in your community lots of chocolates and ask them to praise you infront of her.
12. Find out where she works and go there every other day.
13. Pretend you are the most intelligent, most dedicated person this earth has ever seen on its face.
14. Show her how genuinely you are related to what she does or with the organization she works at.
15. Everytime you go there, pretend you are totally unaware of the fact shes there.
16. Find out who else has proposed to her and give them hateful looks everytime you see them.
17. Send them hate emails.
18. Challenge them to fight.
19. If the other person happens to be stronger than you and you get beaten up badly, dont lose hope, seek medical help, get all your wounds cleaned up and then challenge him again. Fight until you are beaten to death. (She's your dream girl for God's sake, you aint gonna give up like this or are you?)
20. Follow her everywhere she goes so that she knows how badly you want to marry her.
21. Guard her house 24/7 so that no other prospect can reach her.
22. Steal her cell phone and search the whole phonebook for word "Br." Kill all of them one by one. (except the ones who are married or the ones who actually happen to be her real brothers)
23. Always walk around the sister's entrance outside the masjid.
24. Turn your cool on everytime you see a niqaabi sister. (You never know, it could be her).
25. Spread nails around her car and stand nearby pretending you are waiting for someone. Keep looking at your watch again and again.
26. If the tires dont flat, curse yourself and get bigger nails next time.
27. Offer your services sincerely free of charge.
28. On your way back from gym, forget to wear a shirt and stop right infront of her house pretending something just went wrong with your car.
29. Come out of the car wearing sunglasses , open the hood and make sure all the liquids are upto level. Spend enough time walking around the car to make sure she sees you.
30. If a friend pops in, pretend you have no clue where you are.
31. If he tells you that you are standing right infront of a men's dormitory, pretend you already knew that.
32. Come back home and beat that friend up who told you that she lives there.
33. If its the same place you have been guarding 24/7, ask them to pay you.
34. Promise your friend a $100 if his wife succeeds to make this sister consider you.
35. and Finally, In the last third of the night, cry infront of Allah, tell Him that even though you personally like her so much, but the main reason for you persuing her is that shes a great muslimah. Tell Allah that you want her so that you can raise a family who is completely subservient to Him, and because you want your children to be the great muslim leaders of tomorrow..

and May Allah accept your efforts..

Ameen

P.S. (I know these are not hundred but you can add more to make them hundred)

P.P.S. (Except the last one, try all others on your own risk)

[mahmoudm]

You made me laugh sooo much!! I cant stop laughing. What I am thinking is that you wrote all of that because of something that happened to you, or perhaps a phone call you just recieved. #25, 26 and 33 wow. How did you make that up. You know what, some of what you mentioned might actually be applied after marriage(i.e #4) I wish you the best akhi. Tell us if you need any help with this. Trust me it can get harder than that sometimes.

[1/2AWiseMan]

that was hilarious bro, lol.

i especially liked this one, mashaAllah

Originally Posted by Mansoor

[*]Turn your cool on everytime you see a niqaabi sister. (You never know, it could be her).

[aaa]

I would say if the guy is recognized to be a modest guy and acknowledged for lowering his gaze and having the whole good package.....and the sister hears about him that might boost the odds of her interest towards the brother...Furthermore if you want to get the sister's dad to consider you , then you require a bunch of people to speak good things regarding you in front of him.

[Nihalk1]

okay now...those 2 minutes of my life could have been put to better use

I liked the last point the brother mentioned.

[Shirien]

"100 ways to creep a sister out"

[Ahmed Ibn Hassan]

^^ lol... If im feeling down and i want a laugh im coming to this thread..

Not saying nothing anymore...
Ahmed

[Rizak]

35. Mention to her how humble you are, especially if you know your humble. Women love to hear all about this. Be specific, "One time I donated $3 to the masjid and I didn't even ask them to write my name down..."

36. Challenge all the brothers to a push up competition, during the break, on stage, near the sisters side. If you lose, say you were fasting, if you win, still, say you were fasting.

37. Pretend you're making deals on your cellphone, deals involving millions of dollars. "NO! DON'T ACCEPT LESS THAN $500,000!". Tip: make sure the cellphone is off or on silent!

38. Mention how 'little' you work out, be very specific, how many reps, the weight. It all matters.

39. Mention how fast your car can go, it's what sisters always talk about, trust me I know what I am saying. She will fall head over heels as soon as you mention it's a strait 6 with a 2.8 liter engine, shifting at 3500 RPM in Auto and 6-7,000 RPM in sports.

40. Find out where she eats out if she does, go the same day and time as her. Tip extra, make sure you anounce it before you leave the restaurant too.

[mahmoudm]

If you are looking for lots of dua then this what happened in Ann Arbor, MI. We had a rejection halaqa, and we had near 20 participants. Everyone says his story (not mentioning who he went for) and gets a hug and cup of pepsi after that. And whomever is married we try to beat him up. Subhana Allah the guy who actually was leading the dua just got married. Watch some brothers sayingg 4,5 and 6 stories. So come over and hear some crazy stories and you will realize that you didnt go through much. I gaurantee you that you probably wont find as many funny brothers as the ones in Ittihad.
Alhamdo lillah we as Muslims have to firmly believe that if a marriage thing doesnt work then Allah has a better plan 100% insha'Allah.

[Naima Abdulkadir]

I can't stop laughing lol.... Oh my Allah my kids think I am going crazy for laughing soo much.