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Old 04-20-2005, 12:16 PM   #1
*KansEmghata*
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Talking 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

Assalaamualaykum!
I said I would post this up and I found it so here I am, posting it on the forums. Don't get freaked out... and please have some mercy on your prospective husband/wife, don't ask the questions all at once. Ask 50 at a time in two different meetings. just kidding. Enjoy!

1) What is your concept of marriage?
2) Have you been married before?
3) Are you married now?
4) What are you expectations of marriage?
5) What are your goals in life? (Long and short term)
6) Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
7) Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
8) Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
9) What is the role of religion in your life now?
10) Are you a spiritual person?
11) What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
12) What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
13) What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in
your area?
14) Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
15) What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
16) What is the role of the husband?
17) What is the role of the wife?
18) Do you want to practice polygamy?
19) What is your relationship with your family?
20) What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to
be?
21) What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
22) Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
23) Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the
future?
24) If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what
should be done?
25) Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
26) How did you get to know them?
27) Why are they your friends?
28) What do you like most about them?
29) What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
30) Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31) What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32) What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
33) What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your
friends?
34) What are the things that you do in your free time?
35) Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
36) What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the
house?
37) What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not
understand? (with friends or family)
38) Do you travel?
39) How do you spend your vacations?
40) How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
41) Do you read?
42) What do you read?
43) After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic
feelings verbally?
44) After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in
public?
45) How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
46) How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for
you?
47) Do you like to write your feelings?
48) If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
49) If someone has wronged you, how do you want him/her to apologize to you?
50) How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
51) How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
52) Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
53) Do your friends use foul language?
54) Does your family use foul language?
55) How do you express anger?
56) How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
57) What do you do when you are angry?
58) When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
59) When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how
should the conflict get resolved?
60) Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
61) What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
62) Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
63) Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
64) Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
65) What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
66) How do you support your own health and nutrition?
67) What is you definition of wealth?
68) How do you spend money?
69) How do you save money?
70) How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
71) Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to
eliminate them?
72) Do you use credit cards?
73) Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
74) What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
75) What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
76) Do you support the idea of a working wife?
77) If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
78) Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
79) Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
80) Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
81) Do you want to have children? If not, why?
82) To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
83) Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not,
when?
84) Do you believe in abortion?
85) Do you have children now?
86) What is your relationship with your children now?
87) What is your relationship with their other parent?
88) What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children
and their parent?
89) What is the best method(s) of raising children?
90) What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
91) How were you raised?
92) How were you disciplined?
93) Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
94) Do you believe in public school for your children?
95) Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
96) Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
97) What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim
classmates/friends?
98) Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they
lived in another state or country?
99) What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all
their grandparents?
100) If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of
different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have
with them?
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Old 04-20-2005, 12:45 PM   #2
Sumiyyah
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

Q 102: How do you feel about Al Maghrib?

OR

How do you feel about ME taking Al Maghrib Classes?


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Old 04-20-2005, 01:18 PM   #3
*KansEmghata*
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Talking Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

lol very good! i like them: they're very imporant questions...
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Old 04-20-2005, 01:42 PM   #4
Sumiyyah
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sumiyyah
Q 102: How do you feel about Al Maghrib?

OR

How do you feel about ME taking Al Maghrib Classes?


This question is very important because gaining Islamic knowledge is the duty of EVERY Muslim. Infact, as we learned in The Fiqh of Love class, it is the RIGHT of a wife that her husband teach her. Most of the time, men are too busy to teach their wives and thus must find an alternative. He should find an alternative that she actually likes and benefits from (ie, he should not stick her with boring stuff or really bad quality materials, hard to understand accents, etc). SO if she likes the Al Maghrib classes best and finds she learns MORE through them than through any other means, he should allow her to attend!
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Old 10-11-2005, 12:49 PM   #5
blaquepirlz
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

Thank you this post was very useful
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Old 10-12-2005, 10:57 PM   #6
burger_ring
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

some of these questions are actally quite difficult to answer. I suggest whoever plans to ask these questions, to perhaps try and answer these questions beforehand, so that you won't get stuck in an awkward situation, when you are asked 'what do you think?' i went through these questions by myself, and it was difficult to answer some of these questions honestly.
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Old 10-13-2005, 10:19 AM   #7
Hermana
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

I agree! I think the general rule is: don't ask a question that you can't answer yourself.
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Old 10-13-2005, 10:33 AM   #8
ZkrofAllah
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

i say try to cut down as many questions as you can...just ask the important questions...that really matter to you...at least the first time... and than you can ask other questions... later at time... 72) Do you use credit cards? ... isnít all that important...or is it?!!... well inshallah you can decide when time comes... who actually has what it takes to ask all these questions anyways ??!
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Old 10-13-2005, 08:59 PM   #9
Sarah Mushtaq
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

As Salaamu Alaikum
Man thats awesome!!! Interrogation totally FBI style.. J'aime c'est. LOL not like I'm getting married=| but it'll come in handy in a few years... Once again AWESOME questions!!! Someone really prepared...and thats good since its such a big step in your life.

As Salaamu Alaikum
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Old 10-14-2005, 10:21 AM   #10
Shirien
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Re: 100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rani
[color=black][b]LOL... You Knoooooo the Prophet (SWS) DID say to marry young... and Aysha (RA) was married at 16... (Think about IT)
Actually, I believe it was 9 years old. which was common among the people at that time.

If you actually look at some of the 'Four Fathers' they married young women too, so any American who tries to make an argument out of that, they have no argument because their ancestors did the same thing.

Wallahu alem.
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As for killing time, since when is time an enemy that you should strive to kill?! Time is your breath, it is your lifetime and the moments of your life which you could fill with thousands and millions of hasanaat. It is sufficient for you to say Subhaan Allaah wa bi hamdihi (Glory and praise be to Allaah) once, and a palm tree will be planted for you in Paradise, so how many gardens have you failed to plant? How many hasanaat have you lost? (Islam QA)

w w w . b a y y i n a h . c o m / d r e a m
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